Is it okay to be in a homosexual relationship while remaining celibate/chaste?

Above…

Well, if there isn’t any sex involved and sex is never intended to be a part of the relationship then that “relationship” is being friends.

I have heard of gay couples that have been sexually involved that have later decided to live together chastely but I think that’s rare. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of two people of the same sex deciding to be in chaste relationship that is somehow exclusive.

Whether or not it’s okay has everything to do with the ability of those involved to avoid sin and scandalizing (misleading) others. Realistically.

Being a “couple” is not an option.

Anymore that my going out on a date with a woman other than my wife is an option. I am a married man and I cannot date another. And I cannot be form a couple with a woman even if I am not engaging in any other sexual sin.

Dating and being a couple is something regarding persons of the opposite sex who are free to marry.

Chaste and virtuous friendships with various persons (avoiding near occasions etc) is a different matter and one full of life.

If you’re gonna be chaste and romantically acknowledge each other, then I don’t see any qualms with hat.

Being in a relationship, or dating, implies either a romantic relationship, or courting leading to marriage. Otherwise, it’s just being friends. It’s okay to be friends, but once we start “dating” friends, that’s a romantic relationship. That would be inappropriate for a same sex couple.

Oxymoron.

Ask yourself whether it would be okay for a straight man and a straight woman to cohabitate in a semi-intimate relation (though with no sex) outside of marriage.

I am pretty sure that wouldn’t be okay, so I wouldn’t think it could be okay for two homosexual men to do it if they already had something between them.

On the other hand, if there never was any sexual relationship between the two men, then I don’t think it would be too bad, as long as the state of affairs didn’t create a constant source of temptation.

One interesting corollary, though, is whether it would be okay for a Catholic who has same-sex attraction to share a home with a person of the opposite gender. If they need a roommate, would that be a viable alternative for them?

As I posted in your other thread:

As I understand it, the call to chastity is more than just about saving sex until marriage, but is more of a respect for God’s will for sexuality, which would include relationships. It’s not “live chaste until marriage”, even married people are called to live chastely. They must remain committed to their spouse. A relationship between SSA persons would violate what the call to chastity entails, but would also put the two in the near occasion of sin and would be involved in the sin of scandal, because even though they claim to be celibate, there is nothing to keep those they know from truly knowing that, and is likely to cause scandal. The attraction between two people in a close relationship is a sexual attraction, making it a sexually driven relationship, even though they are not having sex.

Father Serpa answered a question like this in 2004 and said its technically possible.

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=5008

one must be careful its not a near occasion to sin.

Scandal is one thing. But to be honest, people have dirty minds, and I don’t think someone should be forced to sacrifice every shred of personal happiness because someone looking in from the outside might think “Ooohhh, I bet they’re totally doing it!” If two men are willing to make the sacrifice to love each other in a brotherly fashion only despite their feelings for one another and they can realistically do that without falling into sin, then they owe it to no one to somehow “prove” their chastity to the world. They are making sacrifice enough, IMO. Just because other people are perverts doesn’t mean we have to alter our entire lives.

I use NFP, and I guess that people assume that we use some sort of birth control. I’m not required to go and have 9 kids to prove that I’m not on ABC. It’s none of their business.

The answer is a resounding NO! Any sort of Gay relationship with another, even without sexual activity is putting yourself in the occasion of sin; which, in itself is a sin.
You should really discuss this with a priest. Call your nearby Rectory and make an appointment to see a priest ASAP.

Did you see this?

Other people think it’s possible. And the OP isn’t referring to himself, he’s referring to a friend.

Count the number of Chaste man/woman living together there are in the world…let me know the statistics on that.

**Theoretically **a person with homosexual tendencies may live with a life-long partner in a celibate relationship. I say “theoretically” because practically this may very difficult to achieve, especially if the individuals are young. The mere physical proximity to each other could be a continual occasion of sin. However, if they center themselves on the Lord and avoid whatever would lead them to sin, it is possible for them live a holy life. I know of some such older couples who do. Of course, these don’t make the headlines. With grace, all things are possible.

Theoretically…

Older Couples…
**
I say “theoretically” because practically this may very difficult to achieve, especially if the individuals are young. **

and with difficulty what can we hope to achieve while young…

This is an unfair comparison. Homosexuality among men, in many cases, derives from a very basic need that a man has for (non-sexual) intimacy with other men. Heterosexual men do not have a very basic need for non-sexual intimacy with women. So there is a clear disanalogy.

That said, the fact that the OP calls this a “homosexual relationship” is, I would say, troubling. If two homosexuals prayerfully consider living together, and determine that it is in accordance with God’s will for their lives, and realistically determine that they can live chastely together, I don’t see a problem with it. But in this case, it is not a homosexual relationship, properly speaking.

A comment toward those who object to two men being a “couple”. I have known a good number of men throughout my life who were quite heterosexual, but formed a “couple” with another man: they went everywhere together, they lived in the same room/apartment, they ate together, etc. This especially happened when I lived in the dorms, in college. If this is possible among heterosexual men, why would it not be possible among Christian homosexual men?

(Please do not make your answer involve the assumption that homosexuals are sexually uncontrollable.) :eek:

This has been answered…

Theoretically a person with homosexual tendencies may live with a life-long partner in a celibate relationship. I say “theoretically” because practically this may very difficult to achieve, especially if the individuals are young. The mere physical proximity to each other could be a continual occasion of sin. However, if they center themselves on the Lord and avoid whatever would lead them to sin, it is possible for them live a holy life. I know of some such older couples who do. Of course, these don’t make the headlines. With grace, all things are possible.

Being a “couple” is not an option.

“Two persons of the same gender” dating one another or being in a “relationship”.

Anymore that my going out on a date with a woman other than my wife is an option. I am a married man and I cannot date another. And I cannot be form a couple with a woman even if I am not engaging in any other sexual sin.

Dating and being a couple is something regarding persons of the opposite sex who are free to marry.

Chaste and virtuous friendships with various persons (avoiding near occasions etc) is a different matter and one full of life.

Friendship – even where the two persons who are homosexual-- is possible (avoiding scandal and near occasions etc). But that is friendship – not a “romantic relationship”

Catechism:

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a6.htm#II

I think we have different understandings of the word “couple”, so we’re talking past each other. I think that Laverne and Shirley were a “couple”, in a real sense, although they certainly were not romantically involved! That’s the sort of couple I have in mind.

Many times this kind of non-romantic “couplehood” can have much more meaning in a person’s life than a romantic relationship. I think that the word “couple”, in ordinary language, should apply to such friendships. But I can understand how we might have distorted the meaning of “couple” to the point where - like everything else in this culture - it gets swallowed up in our all-consuming obsession with sexual relationships.

:o

Thank you for responses. Please move to the other thread to continue this discussion… The whole situation is more clearly explained there.

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