Is it okay to distance myself from adult siblings?

There’s an old saying: “You can pick your friends but not your family.” Recently there was a big fight with the siblings in the family (five sisters and two brothers). It has put the walls up. I have been praying very hard for the situation and am not sure what is right. I would like to distance myself from some of these siblings, due to my feelings being constantly hurt. Is this okay? I am married, have four children, and homeschool. I just don’t have the time and energy to deal with these issues.

Certainly your primary obligations are to your husband and children. If those obligations mean that you are unable to devote time to resolving difficulties with extended family, it would not be wrong to refocus your attention on your nuclear family. It is possible that time may smooth over old hurts and make your relationship with extended family more bearable in the future.

For information on strategies for distancing yourself from extended family frays without actually “disowning” your relatives, please consider the resources linked below.

**Recommended reading:

God Help Me! These People Are Driving Me Nuts** by Gregory K. Popcak
Miss Manners’ Guide to Domestic Tranquility by Judith Martin

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