Is it okay to miss Sunday mass under these circumstances?


Hey! Quick question. I have surgery coming up in mid December. My husband has to drive our dogs up to Indiana so his parents can watch them for a month or so while I’m in the hospital and recovery at home. There will be no car available to me while he is gone so I can’t drive to Sunday mass. I could ask for a ride but it would be difficult as I’m not feeling that well, but could go if I was having a good day and a ride. It’s hard to make plans right now. I’m very socially awkward and it would be a huge deal for me to ask for a ride. Am I required to secure a ride under pain of sin? Or can I stay home from mass that Sunday in good conscience? Thanks!

ETA: oh! And He will be away all Saturday and all Sunday so I can’t just go at a different time.


The most simply response is simply call your Pastor and he can give you a dispensation. Then it is off your mind in trying to judge do I feel well enough or not…etc.


I don’t know, but, you could ask if you could receive communion at home that week? I don’t the rules so maybe check before asking.


You need to call your parish and talk to the pastor. HE needs to know the details of the weekend, health, operation, (NOT us) and he will help you make the best decision considering all the circumstances.

If you feel hesitant about calling, have your husband call.

Stop torturing yourself and get the facts from the source so you can focus on your surgery and recovery.


To miss Mass without sin, you only need a just reason, not a grave reason.

Examples of legitimate reasons to miss Mass:

  1. If you are sick (you need not be gravely ill)
  2. If your kids are sick and you stay home to care for them
  3. caring for an infant
  4. a snow or ice storm makes going to Mass somewhat dangerous
  5. you are traveling and no Mass is available
  6. you are working (e.g. police, fire, hospital work) and cannot get away

There are other reasons of course.
These reasons apply even when getting to Mass is not absolutely impossible.

The reasons that you give seem sufficient, in my personal opinion, to excuse you from Mass without sin. But you can talk to your pastor, if you are unsure.


The reasons seem sufficient, but nonetheless explore other ways of getting to Mass. Are there buses? Trains? IMHO, its worth making the effort if you can, even if it would be inconvenient.


Convert, you know that with your scruples we are the wrong people to ask.

Praying for you. :hug1:


It is a popular notion that anyone who professes to care about their faith is branded “scrupulous”? So converts are “scrupulous”? So by this reasoning then what are longtime Catholics - lazy-minded? I don’t think so, yet I do think the OP cares about her faith, and it is important to find out about the rules behind missing communion. Maybe a person does not care enough to find out but we can’t imagine how much The Lord might miss us being there. “Scuples” seem to be the only thing people say these days when confronted by those who care about their spirituality enough to make an effort. Scruples from anxiety or pupils of the Kingdom of Heaven?


Convert in 99 is a regular poster here, as are many of us. Convert’s struggle with scrupulosity is well documented in many posts. We have repeatedly encouraged her to speak to her pastor about her scrupulosity issues.

Please demonstrate where anyone, other than you, is asserting this.

Straw men are so much fun to build, apparently.

Perhaps taking the time to review some posting history would be fruitful.


Please speak to your pastor and ask for a dispensation beforehand.


If she knows this far in advance then she should be advised to speak to her pastor. After all that is why they have the authority to grant dispensations right?


Heroism is not called for here. Suggesting that one goes to extraordinary means to get to Mass when they have just had surgery, are not up to par, and don’t even have a ride is ridiculous. If one is not feeling well, stay home. Surgery affects the immune system and the body uses up a lot of energy to heal. If you have ever had any kind of surgery, you know this. Give a person a break and just say stay home and recover.

God is not an ogre. But sometimes people put more expectations on each other than God does.


Good thing you live in 21st century America isn’t it?


I agree with post no. 5, Ron Conte and no. 12, CB Catholic.

Sometimes I wonder if these questions are legitimate.

I mean, what do you think of God anyway? In fact, maybe you should ask Him if it’s okay. He’ll be happy to speak with you.

If you couldn’t go pick up your husband at work one day would you talk to him about it or would you ask your friends if it’s okay for you not to go?

Your priest will agree with 5 and 12 if you ask him.


Doesn’t mean to say that someone caring about getting to confession is being scrupulous in this instance. People can be free of labels.

Straw men are so much fun to build, apparently.

Wouldn’t know about that,

Perhaps taking the time to review some posting history would be fruitful.

We could all do with allowing people to live according to their need or needs at the time and this room given to people can be fruitful for us and them.

It is not for us to dictate what Heaven might see as either “scrupulous” or faith.

This has nothing to do with history, it has to do with taking people as they are.


I don’t know too much about scrupulosity but I’m starting to wonder if someone who is probably obsessive anyway will have trouble following all the rules and regulations they are faced with when becoming catholic and maybe this is why they’re scrupulous.

I thought our religion was about getting to know a person…


Yes, “…getting to know” the one who “sacrificed Himself for our sake” - weren’t these your words in another thread? ‘Rules’ is maybe the wrong word (I mistakenly use this word sometimes too). People don’t adhere to rules in the Church, or maybe some do; we follow the traditions and practices that have been made ready for us, out of love, by those who did so, out of love.


Yes. I am a stickler for this. I think it’s important - precisely because people ask questions such as this poster. If they knew the person of Christ, the question would be unnecessary.

We also have to adhere, Jesus didn’t come to abolish the commandments - in fact, He made them even more stringent - But if you know your wife/husband you’ll also know what gets them upset and, if you really can’t help upsetting them, they’ll forgive you because they love you.

I truly see it as a relationship.

Thanks for your understanding.



I particularly like the last line of your last post - that’s nice, and probably the way the saints saw things too. :wink:


Hi. In hindsight, I think it is clear that you were just trying to be consoling towards the OP. Sorry.

I reacted somewhat sharply because I hear a lot of talk about “scruples” and worry sometimes that this word is not overused.

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