Is it possible to be reconciled without confession?

Masturbation has been my worst habit for the past six years. Recently, I had gone my longest without doing it (one week). This is because I felt more and more guilty as I knew that now that I’m 19, I can’t use age as an excuse anymore since I’m now more liable and accountable for my own actions already. On top of that, it haunted me to be separated from God, and I very much felt His grace throughout this one week of not doing it. Can I just say, it was really tough resisting masturbation for that long.

And just a few minutes ago, I gave in.

I tried to resist, but it only worked for a week. What makes this different from the other times I’ve masturbated is that I had full knowledge that it was grave, and deliberate consent as well. In other words, I was fully conscious that I was sinning. In my mind I was all like “Sorry, God, but I have to do it.” It’s so easy to feel sorry and repent once the sexual tension is gone, but I know this isn’t a healthy way to put things into perspective.

I can only meet up with a priest in a few weeks. But until then, how can I be assured of reconciliation at this point? I don’t want to be apart from God any longer. Having a day without God is really scary. Can I PM a priest here? Can the sacrament of reconciliation work long-distance?

God bless. Please pray for me as I am feeling very depraved right now.

Confession is only valid in the physical presence of a priest. It CANNOT be done by phone, email, letter, internet etc.

Making an act of perfect contrition (conditional upon the intent of getting to Confession as soon as possible) would forgive sins if you died before getting to Confession but honestly how could anyone actually be sure they made such an act. I would not bet my immortal soul on it. If you made such an act but then skipped the first opportunity to go to Confession then its no good.

I’m curious. Why can you not go to Confession for several weeks?

It is possible with venial sin, when we go to Mass and say “I confess to Almighty God, and to you my brothers and sisters, …” etc. But for mortal sin, which is what masturbation is, you need to go one on one with a priest for absolution. This is where the grace comes from to stop sinning.

That doesn’t mean you are without God! God is always with us, even when we sin. You can’t receive the Eucharist but you can still go to Mass, you can still go to adoration, you can still pray.

Out of town. But God is truly miraculous. A fellow vacationer turned out to be a priest, so all is well. And I look forward to making amends for my sins. :slight_smile:


God is good indeed :heaven:

I’m glad you found a priest. In case this ever happens again, I want to point out something that ought to be comforting:

If you are in a state of mortal sin, have sorrow for your sins, and Plan to confess at the next opportunity, your desire for confession suffices in case you die unexpectedly. This was decreed by the Council of Trent: “[Repentance is] not only a cessation from sins, and a detestation thereof, or, a contrite and humble heart, but also the sacramental confession of the said sins, at least in desire, and to be made in its season, and [priestly] absolution; and likewise satisfaction by fasts, alms, prayers, and the other pious exercises of a spiritual life.” Council of Trent Session 6 Chapter 14

And: “for the eternal punishment…is, together with the guilt, remitted, either by the sacrament, or by the desire of the sacrament.” Council of Trent Session 6 Chapter 14

As a result, if you fall into mortal sin and can’t make it to confession, think of the next time when you can be sure confession will be offered, and make a plan to go. For me, that is right before Saturday Mass, and sometimes before or after various weekday Masses. But you only need to know one regular time when confession is made available, and plan to go to it. That desire for confession, combined with your repentance, suffices in case you die unexpectedly, and therefore you can have peace of mind that your sins are forgiven.

I hope that helps. God bless!

Been there done that.
It’s a step in the right direction to have full knowledge of yourself, and fuller knowledge of what God expects of you. That is called progressing in maturity. Good thing!! But it can hurt. In fact, if the journey doesn’t hurt sometimes, you’re probably not doing it right. Keep moving forward.

I would like to highlight the word “patience”.
Be patient. Part of this struggle is the desire for instant gratification, including the desire to be rid of your struggle right away. That’s not what confession is for. Confession should make you feel good, but feeling better about yourself and ridding yourself of your struggle are not really the end goal. Your end goal is to progress in virtue and holiness, to know God. You can come to know God in the midst of this struggle.

I can assure you that virtue takes time, struggle, patience, the desire to get back up after falling. It literally took me years, decades, to have some self mastery with lust. Hopefully you will have a better experience.
God is with you. Go to confession when you can, but God is with you right now and he knows your desire to progress in virtue. He knows you want to be closer to him, and he will not strike you with lighting because you don’t make it to confession right away.

Trust him.
Be patient.

To fight masturbation, develop a strong devotion to Our Lady and to Saint Thomas Aquinas, who chastely resisted a prostitute who tried to seduce him when he was 19 like you are now. Wear a Miraculous Medal and the Scapular of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. Say the Three Hail Marys every morning and evening, adding “By thy pure and Immaculate Conception, O Mary, make my body pure and my soul holy.” Maintain the habit of praying always with the Jesus Prayer or Deus in adjutorium meum intende. Have a good confessor who can guide you further.

I love it!

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