I realize you’re being ironic.
Nevertheless, let me state my reasons for not accepting that proposition and the “remedies” people pose for it.
-First of all, and just to clarify, it’s not the “flatulence” but the “belching” that emits methane. The digestive processes of ruminants like cattle, depend on fermentation in the digestive system, and that’s the source of the methane.
-There are almost certainly fewer ruminants in the U.S. now than there were in 1491. There are now approximately as many cattle in the U.S. as there were buffalo (another ruminant) in 1491. There are undoubtedly fewer other ruminants such as elk, antelope and mountain sheep. If those pre-1492 ruminants did not cause MMGW, there is no reason to think those of today do.
-Cattle sequester a lot of carbon, or cause its sequestration, depending on how they’re managed. Proper management of grasslands, when employed, results in net sequestration in several ways.
-First, the carbon-rich manure is returned to the soil.
-Second, proper grazing management results in extremely robust root growth, which puts atmospheric CO2 underground, and in massive quantities.
-Third, cattle eat carbon, sequester it in their meat, we eat the meat, sequestering it in our bodies. At death, whatever carbon we have left is sequestered in the ground through burial.
-Fourth, proper grassland management through use of hooved animals improves water retention in the soil, which has an overall cooling effect in the atmosphere above it. Hoof action also causes dead grasses to break down biologically, becoming part of the soil. Without it, dead grasses break down chemically, releasing their carbon into the atmosphere.
Finally, fully 1/3 of the liveable portions of the earth are grasslands, capable of raising no human-consumable food other than livestock. There is no compelling reason to deprive the world of the protein-rich food produced by 1/3 of the world’s surface, and particularly not when, as mentioned above, ruminants are no more the cause of MMGW than they were in 1491.