Is it sin to go to a nightclub?


#1

A few weeeks ago I had posted a thread on CAF about meeting people, particularly men in my age group (I am female) and I got a lot of feedback that made me think and helped me figure things out. I don’t want to sound like I am bringing up the same points, but I was wondering if it would be an occasion of sin to go to a nightclub with a married couple from my work who have invited me.

I am not at all going to get drunk and probably will not even drink. I am not going hoping to get picked up. I would be going becuase I have been invited and it seems polite to go. A co-worker of mine who is an aspiring recording artist will be performing at this “open-mic” night. And yes, he music has pretty explicit lyrics, but it is not like I have never heard cuss words before.

I never go out anywhere and I think I’m afraid to try to meet other CAtholics. I think they will judje me becuase I don’t have a proffessional job. I’m trying to get over it and get brave enough to try to volunteer in some Catholic organization. I am also afraid to go out to places that are questionable, morally, but when I step back I think that these things are probably not sins in and of themselves and I may be too afraid of doing anything out of my routine.

If I continue this way I will be stuck. Afraid to meet other Catholics + afraid to go out with people from work = not going out at all and staying home every night.

My mother is very against me going but not for the best of reasons and I am an adult. Do not wish to upset her but I am an adult.

I have turned down offers to go before and do not want to do so again
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Thoughts?


#2

It is not a sin to go to a nightclub - people may commit sinful acts whilst in one but it isnt a sin to go out!!!

You are obv a grown adult and as such are free to go where you please!


#3

You’re talking about a night club, not a strip joint, right? Night clubs are not evil unto themselves. You are the one who has to make a determination if it is an occasion sin to you. If you don’t think it is, then give it a shot and have some fun.


#4

Go out and have fun! There is no sin in that!

Do not be ashamed because you do not have a “professional” job! You are defined by YOU, not your method of employment. Get out there and volunteer to your hearts content. And if you come across someone who judges you because you don’t have the right “career”, they’re not worth their friendship anyway, especially if they are Catholic. Catholics shouldn’t judge people that way. :wink:


#5

Not sinful, but have you talked to someone you trust regarding the particular nightclub?

For example, in the downtown area we must have 10 large clubs and who knows how many smaller ones/bars. Some of them are really snazzy places with strict dress codes and restricted smoking areas. While others are pretty much for smoking and getting drunk or date raped.


#6

Go, it’s not a sin to go to a night club. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

Oh and by the way there are plenty of Catholics who are not “professionals”. I agree it’s a good idea to volunteer where your likely to find like minded people.


#7

I think what people need to remember here is that any nightclub nowadays does not exist in a cultural vacuum. Every excess of our fallen culture is amplified in such an environment and it is difficult for me to see patronizing one of the forums for such hedonism as anything other than implied endorsement of gluttonous sin. OP maintained that if she did not go that she would both be afraid to meet Catholics or others in any social setting. To my mind, this is good, since Friday nights spent in solitude are fertile grounds in which to develop a rich life of prayer. Compared to listening to a “friend” vomit obscenities on the stage and the quiet repetition of one’s own prayers over a rosary, I should think that the decision rather makes itself.


#8

And the OP has posted in other places that she needs to get out and meet people her own age- which is not exactly a young girl (although not too old). She is certainly old enough to decide ON HER OWN if the nightclub in question is an occasion of sin for her.

You do not know the nighclub in question. Nightclubs of themselves are not intrinsicly evil, any more than drinking alcohol is evil unto itself- or for that matter, dancing. It is what the individual does when this happens that makes it evil or not.

As for sitting around praying the rosary on a Friday night, that might be all well and good if she discerned her vocation was single religious life. Yes, she should pray the rosary, volunteer at various places- but she can also have some fun at age 30 and perhaps meet a gentleman at a nightclub on a Friday night.


#9

The OP doesn’t want to live in a cave or a fishbowl. This is the real world…and some of it is pretty ugly. I count on the Holy Spirit to give me discernment when confronted with the ugly side of life. I have escaped unscathed. Going to a club doesn’t make you a drunk anymore than going to church, praying the rosary everynight makes you a “better Christian”. Often times, it can make you resentful in that you although you are following the letter of the law, you are isolating yourself from the “spirit” of the law. Jesus went to “clubs” quite often and was “invited”…lots of sinning going on there… but he left, just as he came…straight up sober and non-indulgent of the goings on. It can be done.

To the OP: Go enjoy your time with your friends. You know when to say when…you know not to drive drunk…and you know that one-night-stands are not about finding the “one” to share your life with. Keep your value as a woman in mind. You are armed enough with descretion…no worries here.:thumbsup:


#10

It’s not sinful, but it definitely could be a near occasion of sin. I would just want to caution you to be careful. You might have fun, but you might also get confused. I have never gone to such a place as a single woman, only when I was married. I have seen some nice girls though ended up making some foolish choices in that kind of a setting.


#11

If the OP was confident in her ability to discern whether the nightclub in question constituted an occasion of sin, she would not be asking for advice about this in these forums. Moreover, we’re not talking of some highbrow soirée in the Berkshires, but an outlet for vulgarity to be used as entertainment. One wonders exactly what type of people she would expect to meet there. Given her uncertainty, a simple cost-benefit analysis would reveal that the safest route for her to take is to stay away from the nightclub.

A further word here needs to be mentioned about Christ’s attending similar fora. While true that He did consent to dine with tax collectors, befriend prostitutes and even celebrate amongst heretical Samaritans, in each case He did so with a clear purpose of conversion. The OP presents no desire to bring the people at the nightclub to Christ but is instead focused inwardly on her own wants and desires and is therefore more vulnerable to having the nightclub convert her.

In this, a Friday night rosary is far preferable to the diminished good a nightclub may provide. Further, I fail to see that discernment of a single, religious life has anything to do with it. If God, in His wisdom, means for her to meet a husband, it beggars belief to assume that He would withhold that meeting because the OP was praying!

The OP asked what was best. Given her self-doubt, going to the nightclub is decidedly not what is best.


#12

I’m not sure that self-doubt is always an indicator of what decision should be made. The poster’s doubt about being accepted by Catholics for not having a professional job has led her to avoid participating in Catholic groups.

To answer the poster’s question, it’s not a sin to go to a nightclub to hang out with friends or meet people. As with everything, make your own decisions and don’t get swept up into something. If you’re still nervous, since you aren’t drinking take your own car so you can leave if want to (if you do drink, bring money for a cab - you can still leave when you want to). You should try to get out and have some fun.


#13

My first thought is, "Why would I go anywhere to sit and listen to “explicit” lyrics (OP’s words)? I can hear enough of that through my open car window at a stoplight.

Being “afraid of doing anything out of [your] routine” and being very anxious to meet a spouse doesn’t mean that you toss your standards of decency out the window and settle for the first opportunity that comes your way to get out of the house.

Get involved, volunteer, develop interests and passions! Then the real Chatterbox will shine and be irresistable those she comes in contact with.

Good luck & God bless.


#14

I agree that it depends on the type of club. It sounds like the place you’d be going to is not a strip joint and that you’re just going to have fun and socialize. So there’s no sin in that. You’re aware of sin and it seems like you have a good head to question things that might affect you in that regard. Doesn’t sound like you’d put yourself in a situation that was sinful on purpose.

As for the colorful language, I go to many sporting events (even used to play hockey) and hear all kinds of language. As long as you don’t engage in that kind of talk, you’ll be fine. And if it gets to be too much, you can simply call a cab and go home.

Lastly, please don’t let people who might judge you on your lack of “a professional career” stop you from meeting good Christians. Most of us look at the quality of the person, not how much money they earn, because in the end, that’s what God sees. And if someone treats you otherwise, then it’s just their loss.

Hope you found some good advice here.


#15

In my experience, there are 2 types of nightclubs. One type I have no problem attending, the other I would avoid like the plague.

I have no problem going to pubs/nightclubs (with both my catholic and secular friends) where there’s a good atmosphere, where people want to catch up with each other and have a laugh, maybe a few drinks etc

However, a lot of today’s nightclubs are nothing short of ‘pick-up joints’. There is a darker atmosphere here, the dancing and music is sexually provocative and the dress is very immodest (and I mean very). As a Catholic woman who is passionately in love with Jesus and who desires to be pure in thought and action, in conscience I just can’t go to these nightclubs.

I also think that we need to be careful about the song lyrics that we find ourselves dancing to. I don’t think that there is anything objectively wrong with listening to or dancing to secular music (and believe me I love dancing). However, a close examination of the lyrics of a lot of the music played in many nightclubs reveals very sexually immoral and suggestive language. I don’t think that being exposed to these kinds of music is spiritually neutral - on the contrary, in my experience the soul can very easily become sluggish and lose the edge (if not more) of its desire for closeness and intimacy with God.

In summary, while I think that it’s very important to socialise and spend time with friends, I do think that it’s important to be discerning regarding the venue.


#16

Hello.

I understand about wishing to meet others. When I was young and single I went everywhere I could think of to meet others. Good and not so good places.

I got all kinds of advice and got so very confused and eventually got into trouble – like heartaches to the point of wanting to kill myself, date rape, stalked…

Hopefully this isn’t your agenda in visiting a nightclub. They have an enticing environment. It’s good you’re going with a married couple. I’ve found the atmosphere in a nightclub too seductive for me to handle though.

I know it sounds like a cliche, and it is, but sticking to your own principles, no matter where you are, will keep you on the straight and narrow. Just be careful about whose advice you accept and be sure to ask yourself why you’re taking this or that advice.

I can see a lot of people laughing and making fun of your question about going to a nightclub, but I admire you for taking care to be in places that keep you close to God and being hesitant to go to those places that might endanger your relationship to God. Your question takes courage.

Thank you for your example!


#17

Good point!


#18

OP here.

I have pretty much decided that if my friend mentions again wanting me to go with him and his wife, I will go. I have been pretty down in the dumps and focused on selfish things for about six months now and I think I am beginning to come out of it. I think it will help me to be out among people in order not to go backward.

Yes, I need to pray the Rosary. That is something that I don’t do when I am depressed and focused on myself that I need to do more often. I know that a lot of the music I listen to has bad messages and I want to try to listen to more Christian music.

I am tired of being afraid all the time. I do not think that most of my fears are from God. I finally am starting to feel free from that.

The club I am invited to is NOT a strip joint. It is NOT one of those clubs I hear advertised on the radio that seem to be all about wet T-shirt contests etc. I have been to the clubs website. It is mostly Latin and reggae music they play and they offer salsa dancing lessons. I know the open-mic nights may have a rowdier crowd but my friend said he was impressed with how well-behaved this younger crowd was.

No, I am not going for the purpose of evangelizing. But I have given my friend who invited to this a Father John Corapi CD. He enjoyed it-said FAther was a tough guy like him. No, he did not instantly convert but he listened to it.


#19

Have you ever called your parish office to see if there’s a weekly fatih-sharing or bible-study group?


#20

I think we need to keep some things in perspective here. If we argue against action based on risk, then ultimately, none of us will ever go out of the house; we would all be safest living in monasteries and praying. Ultimately, even the nicest places are used for “hooking up” and for other less than savory activities.

Granted, the OP is not going with an explicit desire to evangalize, but then again, a good Christian is always preaching the Gospel, even if they are not doing it explicitly. A woman who shows up to the club dressed modestly, who demands respect from others and gives it, could influence others to do the same.

Now, there are some clubs that we all should stay away from, but that doesn’t sound like the case here.


Bill


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