Is it sinful to break a promise to a friend?

I made a promise to a friend that I wouldn’t ask her out, I forgot about that promise and proceeded to ask her out. She slapped me for it and reminded me of my promise.

Is it sinful to break a promise? (And not specific to my context above)

Are you a young teenager?

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Context and intention matter a lot here. Moreover, I think when it comes to promises one should make various considerations beforehand.

Yes, I am.

Probably not, especially since you forgot. Probably just a bit painful though…

The sting afterward is always far worse for me than the actual slap. I accepted that I may have deserved it at least in her eyes.

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If you truly forget you have promised something and you break the promise, it can’t be a sin because it was not intentional - you forgot.
However, as adults, we usually remember when we have made a promise to a friend, so there are a lot of questions here like did you really forget, did you intend to keep the promise when you made it, and the context and intention as the other person said.

Looking at your past posts, you seem to have a lot of drama going on in your relations with girls. If I were you, I’d be focusing less on “is this a sin?” and more on how you can change your behavior so you’re not making your female friends upset with you; alternatively, if the friends are reacting inappropriately to you, perhaps you need to find some new girls to spend time with.


Probably did not deserve it. Especially due to the nature of the promise and the fact that you did not do anything piggish. I’m sorry that happened to you. Just take time to heal your self-esteem.

I had genuinely forgotten about this promise, and I try not to make promises if I don’t think I can keep them. I would have said more along the lines of “I’ll try to not ask you out” rather than “I promise not to ask you out.”.

This one was my fault, but we have remained friends. I have ceased contact with the subject of previous posts.

Thank you.
I’ve accepted it regardless of whether I deserved it. I can see how it might come to be my fault: I made and then broke a promise - even though I forgot that I had made said promise;
And I am male - I’ve found that this seems to increase culpability tenfold when it comes to relationships.

Ok you’re young and it doesn’t sound like you acted sinfully but try to take this situation as a learning experience and hopefully as you get older you will get better at remembering your promises. Also as you and your peers age you should naturally develop the impulse control and maturity to better handle these situations on both sides.

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I wouldn’t consider going out with someone who struck me, and I would stop talking to her.
You’re young. Plenty of other nice girls. You didn’t sin, she did.

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She only hit me AFTER I asked her out. I think I ought to remember now.
Either side of this incident she and I are best friends. We work together in almost everything and we’re both part of the same Theatre Group with a play in like 6 weeks, so we need to still be okay working together and by then, I should think we’ll both be okay anyway.
(This girl is nowhere near as bad as the one I mentioned in a previous post.)

Tom, sweet heart
Teen years are so troublesome. Why date?? Are you able to afford to take a girl out?! Morality is so messed up now adays. Where can kids go that isn’t compromised w not nice things. Kissing leads to trouble. None of us are suppose to go there. Friendships can break up, if you try to make it more than friendship. Granted in my day, kids in HS dated. You could date more than one b/c NOTHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN! Kiss on the third date. College takes a lot of studying. Stay away from partying crowd. Last year in college, you can have more realistic reasons for dating. You’ll have your career set. Have money and can look for a life partner.
Heart slap felt bad. Why have it at your age.? Nobody is mature in teenage. So much for my soap box.
Promises should be kept but it’s not a sin. You forgot!
I was going to join the Army after I graduated Nursing school. We were in Viet Nam. I went through the gross physical. I had just met this guy who was a PFC. at the time. He said I couldn’t join b/c we couldn’t be together. I’d be an officer. So, I called back and declined.I had been talking to God about the Army and something like a promise. I’m so old I can’t recall., we’re young (then) It’s a maturity thing. We had good intentions.
Check w your priest. Don’t make promises or VOWS unless you are mature and can do it.
Be healthy, happy and holy.
In Christ’s Love


Then why did you ask?

Forget it if its nothing.

I’m more concerned by the fact that she slapped you just for asking you out.

I had male friends who asked me out, and I was flattered but said no because I didn’t want to lose their friendship over a breakup.

I didn’t slap them.

So either there’s more to the story (which is fine and none of my business), or she has issues and you’re clearly better off not being with her in the first place. I’ll take it all at face value and go with the latter.

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If you’re repeatedly finding yourself on the wrong side of relationships, it might not be because you’re male, but because you lack the maturity needed to successfully navigate a relationship.

This isn’t the first time you’ve “forgotten” or ignored boundaries women have set for you, and you often have mitigating circumstances that limit your culpability. I think you need to step away from relationships for a while and speak to a counselor (and we’d suggested before) about how you might develop strategies that will let you navigate relationships more successfully.

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It is a sin to break a promise, unless it was an unreasonable or unlawful promise. (e.g. promising to give someone a billion dollars, promising to steal something.)

If you forgot your promise, and then accidentally broke it, it’s not a sin.

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I have to agree with Pup7 that someone slapping you for asking her out is far more perplexing than you forgetting that they asked you not to, unless you asked her out to some place really inappropriate or something.

But tweedlealice makes a great point as well. While teen dating is pretty common these days, it can be very problematic. The attachments that form as well as the desire to act on physical urges both have a way of leading us off the path God might have for us. I believe teens will be better off if they refrain from “coupling” until they are actually ready for courtship, which is a process of discerning a marital vocation.

I can’t believe she slammed you. Maybe you should steer clear of her

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