Is it sinful to only be attracted to younger women


#64

As long as the women involved are legal adults and freely able to be married there is no sin. However, as many people have already hinted at an older man will have to have something significant to offer a much younger woman when she will most likely be much more physically attracted to younger men closer to her own age.

Realistically men who are 20+ years older than their spouse are most likely attractive to her because they can offer financial stability and wealth where she can feel confident of security for herself and any children. They would also still need to be relatively physically attractive and have a good personality - most women will not be attracted only by money, particularly devout Catholics.

Most older men are just not going to be attractive enough to attract much younger women and will instead be considered “creepy” that is also just natural and human nature if a man is old enough to be your father is expressing romantic interest.

Obviously these marriages can happen but they are relatively rare. So men on dating sites for example that only chase after much younger women need to be realistic otherwise they will just be aging, alone.


#65

Right. Biology doesn’t care about social norms. A woman that looks like a woman is attractive no matter the age difference.

To be honest I’ve been attracted to middle aged women (as well as younger women) since I was a teenager so those trends don’t resonate with me, although there are unscrupulous reasons for why that might be. Being exposed to pornography when I was an adolescent, etc. But that’s kind of the point: our attractions are not fixed. They are malleable based on experiences and mindsets, or at least to some extent.

The male brain doesn’t stop developing until early 30s and men usually lag behind women in maturity. Women often prefer men at least a little older because that means more reliability, security, stability, etc., which subconsciously translates to a more attractive specimen. But it’s not like women aren’t attracted to younger men. Get trapped inside a teacher’s lounge of old ladies for 30 minutes and listen to where the conversation can go when talking about a young actor. i.e. it goes to the gutter.

There’s just a difference between who we are attracted to and what usually works for a long-lasting, stable relationship. The bigger the age difference the more of a problem it can be, especially if you’re not interested in being a widow while you’re still relatively healthy.


#66

It seems to be in the workplace as well. The younger women are often more visible to to management while the older ones are the wallflowers.

I worked at a place that seemed to have “revolving doors”. I was asked by the big shot when I intended to “pack it in” and retire. He apparently thought it should be soon. Very soon.
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#67

As Ponce De Leon once said when questioned why he was searching for the Fountain of Youth:

  • “I’m not wasting my time and hard earned gold looking for the ‘Fountain of Old’.”

#68

Yeah, I’m forced to chug from that “old” fountain every morning when I look in the mirror.


#69

Looks don’t last 50 years later but faith and friendship do. Seems like priorities should be built around things that last. Not saying attraction isn’t important or a good thing, it is a good thing and important but it is not the “be-all-end-all” by any means.

Saying you are only attracted to younger women is focusing only on attraction and nothing else. I am attracted to woman who are funny and a bit nerdy in their faith lol


#70

My mother was many years younger than my father when they married. They remained married for many years until one of my parents passed. It was the only marriage for both of my parents. I heard stories about my father trying to explain to my mother she was younger than his youngest sister who was 10 when he left home at 18. No luck with that… My parents met in grad school. My mother told me stories that University officials actually tried to get involved to discourage my parents from dating because of the age difference.

I found this thread strange in the sense that the reality is that the woman often is the pursuer. The question can go both ways. Is it a sin to only be attracted to much older men (or women)?

Personally, I think God can find a match in the strangest circumstances, and it is certainly no sin. To take it a step farther, I think of people who judge a match with a significant age difference just as prejudiced as people who judge a marriage of a black and white person.


#71

Disease, sickness, can hit at 25 as it can at 50 as it can at 85.


#72

I know some beautiful women and hansom men who are in their 70s or 80s. Looks may not last, but, it is also possible to take good care of your body/complexion when you are young and to look great as you age!


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