Is it still a sin if you covet someone's girlfriend/boyfriend?


#1

The Bible says not to covet someone wife but what about girlfriend/boyfriend? Is it a sin?


#2

[quote="Timi_Celcer, post:1, topic:337250"]
The Bible says not to covet someone wife but what about girlfriend/boyfriend? Is it a sin?

[/quote]

YES!!

You shall not covet *your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his **, or **anything that is your neighbor's.
Every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

CCC 2514 St. John distinguishes three kinds of covetousness or concupiscence: lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and pride of life.301 In the Catholic catechetical tradition, the ninth commandment forbids carnal concupiscence; the tenth forbids coveting another's goods.


#3

Do not covet your neighbors stuff. If their boy/girl is part of their stuff then don't covet that.
More really should be should you covet her/him and what would that mean?


#4

[quote="thistle, post:2, topic:337250"]
YES!!

You shall not covet *your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his **, or **anything that is your neighbor's.

[/quote]

The boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is in not the same category as husband/wife. Each of them are free to break it off and go out with someone else, even if they're engaged to be married. Husbands and wives are (in theory at least :rolleyes:) bound in an unbreakable covenant of marriage.

Every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

This is a different issue altogether. Wishing you were going out with someone is not the same thing as lusting after them. The OP would have to ask him/herself if they are lusting or wishing. :)


#5

[quote="sealoch, post:3, topic:337250"]
Do not covet your neighbors stuff. If their boy/girl is part of their stuff then don't covet that.
More really should be should you covet her/him and what would that mean?

[/quote]

A person cannot belong to someone else so can't be part of their "stuff". A woman doesn't belong to her husband or a man to his wife. As I said above, they have a covenant between them that is unbreakable.


#6

[quote="seagal, post:5, topic:337250"]
A person cannot belong to someone else so can't be part of their "stuff". A woman doesn't belong to her husband or a man to his wife. As I said above, they have a covenant between them that is unbreakable.

[/quote]

So you feel it is ok to desire to be in a committed relationship with someone else's significant other?


#7

[quote="sealoch, post:6, topic:337250"]
So you feel it is ok to desire to be in a committed relationship with someone else's significant other?

[/quote]

As long as the desire doesn't edge into lust. I didn't say it was OK to actually do anything about it, like trying to break up the couple. The OP didn't ask that. I simply said that there was nothing inherently sinful about having a desire to go out with someone, barring lust of course.


#8

A desire to be in a physical relationship outside of marriage is lust defined.


#9

[quote="Khalid, post:8, topic:337250"]
A desire to be in a physical relationship outside of marriage is lust defined.

[/quote]

No one mentioned a physical relationship.


#10

While a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship is on a lower level than marriage, the idea is still the same. To covet something or someone that is not yours is sinful. To covet is to more than just want something someone else has, it is also not wanted them to have it. It is related to envy. So, to covet someone's girlfriend/boyfriend means more than just saying you want a girlfriend/boyfriend like that, it means you want that particular person as your girlfriend/boyfriend at the expense of the other person. It is almost in a sense to cause emotional harm to the other person. You want it so that you can have it and they cannot.


#11

As far as I'm aware, a boyfriend or girlfriend is not "property", nor is he or she married, so no, I don't think it is the same as going after a married person. However, I can think of many situations where it would be sinful to engage in seeking someone who is already in a relationship.

1) They want you to leave them alone and you won't.
2) You are engaging in deception against the person's boyfriend or girlfriend.
3) You are seeking this person because you get a power kick out of "stealing" partners from other people.

If a person has a crush on someone who is not interested in them, it is their responsibility to redirect themselves so that it doesn't become a matter of infatuation or lust.


#12

[quote="bzkoss236, post:10, topic:337250"]
While a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship is on a lower level than marriage, the idea is still the same. To covet something or someone that is not yours is sinful. To covet is to more than just want something someone else has, it is also not wanted them to have it. It is related to envy. So, to covet someone's girlfriend/boyfriend means more than just saying you want a girlfriend/boyfriend like that, it means you want that particular person as your girlfriend/boyfriend at the expense of the other person. It is almost in a sense to cause emotional harm to the other person. You want it so that you can have it and they cannot.

[/quote]

Good point, I hadn't considered that.


#13

[quote="Timi_Celcer, post:1, topic:337250"]
The Bible says not to covet someone wife but what about girlfriend/boyfriend? Is it a sin?

[/quote]

It's an extension of the principle. But I'm not they are exactly the same...

Thing is, boy friend/ girlfriend.. they are still in a temporary coupledom status.

If you are in love with her and she in you, in a genuine way, then maybe providing she leaves him first.?

If she has fallen out of love with the boyfriend, then you should tell her to break it off first. Then it might be okay, it's more clear cut that way.

She has to have some responsibility in this for it to be a collateral partnership.


#14

Coveting another person is a violation of their human dignity, because coveting is an unnatural desire to possess material objects over a relationship with God. A human person is not an object. The commandment to not "covet your neighbor's wife" is not because your neighbor "possesses" the wife, but because the woman is made in the image of God and of infinite value regardless of her relationship.

Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's girlfriend, because the woman is not to be coveted at all. The boyfriend is irrelevant!

It is unfortunate that the Protestants group these two commandments together, because that obscures the underlying natural reality that God reiterated in the Commandments given to Moses.


#15

[quote="runningdude, post:14, topic:337250"]
Coveting another person is a violation of their human dignity, because coveting is an unnatural desire to possess material objects over a relationship with God. A human person is not an object. The commandment to not "covet your neighbor's wife" is not because your neighbor "possesses" the wife, but because the woman is made in the image of God and of infinite value regardless of her relationship.

Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's girlfriend, because the woman is not to be coveted at all. The boyfriend is irrelevant!

It is unfortunate that the Protestants group these two commandments together, because that obscures the underlying natural reality that God reiterated in the Commandments given to Moses.

[/quote]

Which two commandments are are being unnaturally grouped by protestants? Also there is no way this relates to human dignity as the wife is put at the same level as animals of the field and slaves are not prohibited by the bible.


#16

[quote="sealoch, post:15, topic:337250"]
Which two commandments are are being unnaturally grouped by protestants? Also there is no way this relates to human dignity as the wife is put at the same level as animals of the field and slaves are not prohibited by the bible.

[/quote]

Some protestant groups number the 10 commandments differently than the Catholic Church. Typically, Protestant groups count the "coveting commandments" all in one, therefore making it seem as if your neighbor's wife is the same thing as your neighbor's chicken. Traditionally, the Catholic Church counts these as the ninth and tenth commandments and as seperate sins.


#17

[quote="Timi_Celcer, post:1, topic:337250"]
The Bible says not to covet someone wife but what about girlfriend/boyfriend? Is it a sin?

[/quote]

I think the sin in wanting someone else's BF/GF, as already mentioned by someone else on this post (That was a good post) is wanting to take away someone else's relationship and have it for yourself. I don't think there is any sin in being attracted to someone else's BF/GF and thinking "I would like to have a woman/man like that. But they are taken, so, I must control myself and not cross any lines." That is what I try to tell myself if I find myself attracted to someone who is already taken. I think that could apply to some else's wife/husband too. It is a shame we cannot turn off our attraction to people we know who are already taken at will :o So me must do our best to be obedient to Our Lord and try to control ourselves and not cross any lines.


#18

[quote="sealoch, post:15, topic:337250"]
Which two commandments are are being unnaturally grouped by protestants?

[/quote]

Not unnaturally classified. Coveting is itself unnatural and immoral, just that coveting a person has the added burden of reducing her to an object in one's heart. This is a separate sin from mere coveting

Also there is no way this relates to human dignity as the wife is put at the same level as animals of the field and slaves are not prohibited by the bible.

Deuteronomy 5 has a strong classification which addresses that concern.

God orders all of creation to rest on the Sabbath, regardless of station. It is mere parallel language that the commandment to not covet also commands against covetting any element of creation, including the wife and servants.

If anything, by ordering the Israelites to not covet even the beasts of burden shows, shows just how strong God wants them not to covet any thing at all.


#19

God orders all of creation to rest on the Sabbath, regardless of station.

I mean that having slaves is immoral.


#20

[quote="sealoch, post:19, topic:337250"]
God orders all of creation to rest on the Sabbath, regardless of station.

I mean that having slaves is immoral.

[/quote]

I've addressed this topic before, and it comes down to what "slave" means.

If it refers to unjust servitude, then yes, it is by definition immoral. If it refers to servitude offered as payment for some just debt, then it is not automatically immoral. In Deuteronomy, God reminds the Israelites that they were delivered from unjust servitude in Egypt, and commands them to treat their own justly held slaves and servants with equal compassion.

By ordering all of creation to rest, God is not lumping sons and slaves and animals altogether at the low end. Rather, he is emphasizing the value at the high end. Our Lord, Jesus Christ, specifically tells us that the Sabbath was made to serve human need.


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