Is it true that people who only have one kid are selfish?

this seems to be a prevailing attitude among catholics

wha’ts wrong with having just one kid anyways. I’m an only child so this kind of bothers me

No, it is NOT true. God blessed me with one child. Whatever His reason is for blessing me with only one child is His. I did not choose it, but I accept it graciously and appreciatively.

There are many reasons why a couple may only have one child.

Fertility issues will prevent many couples from having more than one child, and it is particularly uncharitable for anyone to assume that they have other (selfish) motives.

The capacity of a couple to cope with any given child may lead them to choose to not have another child (now or indefinitely). Some children are difficult to deal with. Some women have a rough time coping with motherhood (eg post pastum depression). For some families, it may be in everyone’s best interest to stop at one.

For other families, difficult factors must be balanced with the purpose of marriage and the generosity we are all called towards. Couples who can (physically, financially, psychologically) have more than one child need to prayfully consider adding to that number.

So the answer is that it may or may not be selfish to have only one child. It is between that couple and God to work this out, given their particular circumstances.

It seems to be your attitude.

Maybe you would like to attend a couple of doctor appointments with me? Would that help you understand why some couples have one child?

I’ve met many families with one child who would have loved more but couldn’t for one reason or another. For quite a few of those families, the one baby was a pure and selfless act full of much sacrifice. I’ve met some families with several children that could easily have more but selfishly choose not to. The number of children has nothing to do with the attitudes of the parents.

Well, Angel, in the previous thread you complained that your mother is smothering you…
and now you wonder why it’s considered selfish to have one child.

You answered your own question.

Some single children thrive obviously. As an older parent, I was keenly aware that if something happened to us, my daughter would be all alone, as we moved so far from family. So I prayed to be blessed with a second child. I’m glad we have her little sister. They are best of friends.

I will keep you in my prayers! I wanted a house full of children, and have only one, and am now a divorced single mom. Life didn’t turn out AT ALL like what I wanted, but God is bringing me to holiness through the circumstances of my life :thumbsup: Hang in there!

God bless you!


Her earlier thread about contraception did seem very judgmental about one child families.

Thanks! I edited my comment :smiley:

No, It is none of anyone’s business but the married couple and God how many children they have and why or why not. Angel, you need to stop worring about what other people may or may not think and their real or preceived opinions on a number of things. concern yourself with finishing school and then find a job before you set up in your mind about working mothers, wearing shirts and how many children. Many of these things will take care of themselves as you go through life.

I think it’s possible to have a selfish reason for only wanting one kid or for not wanting any kids at all, but I don’t see how you could ever know what is in someone elses heart so there’s no point in worrying about other people’s family situations.

not my thoughts, other people opinions, tryuing to not let them get to me. I’m sorry if I sounded judgmental, just a lot of things I’m working on figuring out

Wow! NO! I’ve seen couples that are my heroes for finally being able to have a child after I think about 4 miscarriages. Then there are the couples that only found each other in their late 30’s and people who went to China when they wanted more than they could have.

Fertility is a more rare gift than people realize. Because more people are just intending to put off a family for a few years the fertility rate is dropping below replacement levels.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit