Is it weird that I'm attracted to this kind of guy?

This might be one of the weirder questions ever asked, but anyhow…

I take it most people have seen Disney’s “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”. The main character is ostracised from society, spending his time singing, ringing bells, caring for orphaned baby birds, and carving figurines for his little model of the city. Now, when I was a kid, he was one of my favourite Disney characters and I thought that if he were real, he’d be the coolest friend ever.

And now I’ve grown up, and every time I watch that movie I think, “Single, devout Catholic, loves animals and kids, is artistic, sensitive and shy, and strong enough to pick up men and throw them if the occasion calls for it…yeah, he seems like a good match.” (I used to mention this to my friends, who would point out, “But he’s got a facial disfigurement and a hunchback”, and I just couldn’t get why it was relevant to anything)

Another time, I read a novel in which a woman meets a man at a dance class, described as “slightly older than her, not very good-looking, but with a kind face.” He turned out to be a terrible dancer, very shy, and with a stammer. When later it’s revealed that he has a good, stable job, and buys the woman a very thoughtful gift, all I could think was, “Wow, this guy is husband material. She’d better hurry up and marry him.” (She did, thankfully.)

Anyway, I’ve noticed this cropping up time and time again - while everyone seems to be going for the “perfect”, stereotypically handsome guys, I much prefer guys who aren’t “perfect”. I love men who are sensitive and shy and really really sweet (you know, a gentle man rather than just a gentleman). And I’ve even found myself not caring too much about looks. I think I’d actually prefer someone who’s more average-looking - for whatever reason, I just find that more attractive in the long-run. I remember in high school when all the girls were raving about Edward Cullen, and I just found his face so flawless that it was boring after a few minutes.

Okay, so I’m posting this thread. I may discover that I’m just weird.

This is the kind of guy that usually winds up in the “friendzone”, so there’s plenty to chose from. (Poor guys.) Your perfect guy is your perfect guy, so when you get the chance, go for it!

And who ever said being weird is bad? :wink:

Make sure he isn’t a pushover! Shy and sensitive are fine, but if e won’t stand up to you, he won’t stand up for you.

I spent my teen years dating the guys you described, and I always got bored and frustrated having to be the tough one. Don’t be afraid of a little edge. And yes, it is possible to find a good guy with a stable job who still has a little edge.

That’s really sweet and humble of you! Just don’t tell him that you prefer “average-looking” guys, you might hurt his self-esteem :wink:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Not weird, okay, good! :smiley: I’ll be sure not to tell him he’s “average looking”. To be fair, that’s more society’s standard, anyway. I’ll find him very attractive.

And don’t worry, I don’t like pushovers, either! No, I’m waiting for a man who’d be willing to do this for me:

(I mean, I don’t expect him to be able to scale buildings like that, but you get what I mean)

Not at all. My husband is probably considered a ‘nerd’ by many people’s definition, but I fell head over heels for him! :smiley:

No, not weird at all, at least in my book. Just know that even handsome men can have those qualities as well, and ugly ones can have bad qualities too. People naturally prefer great qualities over looks. Looks fade too. Soul is forever.


You are not weird; you are a very special person. One who does not view the “outside” beauty of someone, but the inner beauty. If only everyone was as you the world would be a much better place. Do not let “others” dictate to you what “beauty” is, be your own person.

As it is: beauty will fade and if the person is ugly on the inside . . . .then nothing good will come from that.

I pray that God grants you peace / happiness and that you do not change, as you are an inspiration to us all of how we should not judge by someone’s outward appearance.


I wish there were more women like you. Im in my late 20s, stable, tall and have a six figure job but my fitness isnt so good and I am shy guy who is socially awkward. My hard work financially has not yet paid off with women.

It seems to me like you are just after a fellow with some depth of character, which is perfectly fine. The nice-looking type of guy usually doesn’t have to dig too deep within himself to get what he wants so you are after someone who has actually had to think about life for a bit and come up with some different solutions. I think you are a sweet person for wanting that… Good luck!

I agree with everyone else I think it’s great that you look at the inner beauty more than the outer. I wish more people where like this. I agree I always that Edward looked creepy and not handsome at all. Keep looking for mr.right and praying for those qualities in your future husband. :wink:

Fifty years ago I married a farm boy with beautiful eyes who could sing and play the guitar. I wasn’t looking for a farm boy with beautiful eyes who could sing and play the guitar but it has certainly worked well for me.

One good idea that I picked up from my daughter-in-law (who by-the-way is from Mongolia): From the time she was 15 she prayed daily for the welfare and protection from God for her future husband. My son wasn’t looking for a beautiful woman from Mongolia but it has certainly work out well for him. And God did protect him from many a pending disaster.

Do not go looking for certain attributes: Pray daily for the welfare and protection of God for your future husband and wait until God leads you to each other.

P.S. my husband was and still is the kindest and sweetest man I have ever met. His beautiful eyes were and still are very gentle.

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