[quote="anruari, post:7, topic:295841"]
No it's not wrong to "Make out" with your wife.
1) making out is not having sex. it's using your bodies , minds and sould to express the natural and right physical affection you have for eachother as affirmed by your marriage vows "To have and to hold"
The catechism does describe this as a gravely dissordered act. It does not specify gender.
I believe in the Theology of the Body, and in other places we are strongly reccomended (especialy we men) to ensure that our spouses are sexually satisified.
The sexual embrace should be self sacrificing that means each partner should be focused on giving himself (or herself) to the other, not satisfying his or her own lust.
For a man to receive manual or oral stimulation from his wife as part of this act could make it difficult for him to complete the act in a manner which is open to life. (many men are prone to climaxing early)
Women do not normally have this problem, and for a man to ensure his wife is tended to and cherished, most certainly include his ensuring that she is enjoying the physical aspects of the embrace. that should include stimulation of any or many of her erogenous zones.
Therefore: I believe the answer to the question above is:
1) when used as foreplay: no this is not allways sinfull, and can be a gift of self to your spouse.
2) when used instead of sex: this is explicitly taught against buy the church. Using such methods during times of abstainance are most particularly not living the required virtue of Chastity that will help to express the required techniques for successful NFP.
A comical confession:
Personally I can find that being aware of the enjoyment of my wife can be a greater stimulation to me than physical contact... and I have accidentally "Finished early" on a couple of occasions when using the techniques discussed above. - in trying to ensure that my wife is well warmed up and ready for me.
I believe this situation - as it was not the intended outcome of the actions is not sinful in itself - even if it can be somewhat disappointing for both of us.
thanks for the reply :)