Is it wrong, is it a sin or is it something else?


I have been toying around with this subject a long time, unable to make sense of it, I am not even sure there is sense at all in this matter.

We all have done it, thinking we are in love with someone, and soon find out it is just a stupid thought, namely falling in love with a person who don’t even know we exist, and that is when we feel daft and that is also the end of that “story”. But what if someone do understand that it is far from rational to have feelings for a person we don’t really know and most likely don’t know who we are. (Or exist.) Despite this one truly love a person, and know that it can never come true, but are really in love with this person. He/she stop dating, never consider marriage with anyone but just live on loving someone and are happy to do so. Sounds stupid, yet very possible, and that love will never peter out and that person know it is stupid but can not help him/her self with this feeling. No sexual dreams, nothing improper ever happen, only a distant love that never will be a mutual feeling.

The way I see it, it is not wrong, pretty daft though. It does not fall under any of the ten Commandment’s because no lust is present, and I know that someone say it is impossible to not feel lust in a situation like this, but if the love is pure it can’t be sinful, or can it? And it can’t be wrong. It does not hurt anyone, and does affect only one life, and not necessarily in a bad way. So ladies and gentlemen, what is it?


Loving from a distance probably involves more fantasy than truth. The important question is if you are following God’s will in your life. If you follow his leading each day, then you will eventually know how to handle this situation. May God Bless you daily! :thumbsup:


Let us make one thing clear, I am not in love with anyone, it is just a thing I have been thinking about. (I ain’t that stupid.)


LF just because this is probably not an example of sin against the virtue of temperance (of which lust is one division) that doesn’t mean it cannot be a sin against one of the other three cardinal virtues (prudence, fortitude, justice) or one of the Theological Virtues (faith, hope charity).

I am reminded of Odysseus and the Lotus Eaters who held his men “captive” in spiritual and bodily torpor and acedia.

Thus what you describe could be a form of sloth/acedia (opposed to the virtue of charity where we deny ourselves our own spiritual joy). It could also offend justice (if it causes us to neglect our own partner) or even fortitude (we do not resist despair) or prudence (we know it is a useless case yet we won’t let it go and waste our spiritual energies).

It may well of course be a sin against temperance (not necessarily lust) where we do not resist fleeting emotions but nurse them instead of allowing them to die.

Proverbs describes the slothful as those “who chase fantasies.”


This is age old story of love from a distance. It almost always disappoints. You’d better be careful and deal with this soberly. Don’t look for logical explanations to rationalize stalking behavior.


Was too late to add…

All sin is in some way against reason. It doesn’t really have to be related to a Commandment though Tradition has always attempted to do so. I believe acedia is a breaking of the Commandment to keep the Sabbath Holy. That is, for the mind to rest in God in fruitful Contemplation. Acedia (as the pursuit of fruitless fantasy) is a form of escapism that seeks the very opposite.

The attachment may help.


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