Long story short–I had a type of ovarian cancer last year that caused me to have a complete hysterectomy. I’m 31, DH 42. We’d been TTC for a couple of years, finally went to a gynecologist for help, and found out why. I’m fine now, there’s a very low risk of recurrence.
We looked into adoption, took all the foster/adoption classes, completed our homestudy. Towards the end of the process we started thinking that maybe adoption wasn’t right for us, for many reasons. We’re definitely not ruling it out, but we’re trying to pray about this and figure out what God wants of us. Is it morally wrong for us not have children? Are we being selfish by not expanding our family? We are planning on keeping up our license so that we can keep our options open. I’m just praying that God will show us what He wants us to do with our lives.
DH and I are on the same page with this. It’s my mom that’s becoming a problem. I talked to her again today and she brought up how she wants to have grandchildren. A few weeks ago she started crying about this. I appreciate her desire to be a grandma, but how can I make her understand that this isn’t her decision to make? It’s not like I chose to get cancer so that I can’t have kids, or that we may not adopt, just to spite her.
It’s so hard. I’ve always had such a good relationship with my mom, I don’t want this to come between us, but it might. I know that I can only control myself and how I handle the situation; I can’t change her. I just wish she would try to see our side. It always becomes about her–her wanting grandkids. DH and I don’t factor into her equation. After talking to her today, I’m really depressed. It makes me not want to talk to her or see her, because I know that this is going to come up and ruin our talk or our time together. I’m really resentful that she’s placing this burden on me.
Thanks for letting me rant. I just don’t know what to do. Any suggestions or prayers are appreciated!