I am hesitant to admit this, but am I wrong to be more worried about losing my daughter than about my mother’s passing? It may sound coldhearted, and in reality I am quite close to my mother. It’s just that I think I have a significantly closer relationship with my daughter and I feel the need to put her first (she’s 8). No one is in danger of going soon but I have these thoughts frequently. Feeling guilty, but being honest.
Feelings are not a commodity that can be rationed out according to a presupposed idea of worthiness. Most people do not choose the feelings that they have; only if the feeling is objectively wrong should a person pray for the grace that his or her feelings might be brought into alignment with objective truth.
Perhaps because your mother has presumably lived a long, full life, and your daughter is still a child, you have the feeling that it would be a greater tragedy for your child not to live a long, full life as your mother has done. These feelings are not necessarily wrong, so long as you understand and accept the objective truth that all human beings, whatever their age or physical condition, share an equal dignity before God and equally hold an inherent right to life.