Is it wrong to not like kids?


#1

i don’t know how else to say it. i’m just not relaly a kid person. is that wrong somehow?

i mean i can handle them for short periods of time but i can’t see myself havng my own.

that being said, i don’t feel like getting married either.

but with all the catholic emphasis and teaching on children, i can’t help but feel that i’m somehow bad for feeling this way.

i generally feel more drawn to other things and doing God’s work in other ways

thoughts?


#2

I dont think its wrong not to like kids, sometimes. i dont think you should stress it but i think if you respect them for who they are, it helps.


#3

apparently everyone loves their own kids, as opposed to how you might feel about kids let’s say you babysit,…


#4

also, when you are in love with your husband, and you have his and your child, you feel about that child very much diff. than you feel about other’s kids.


#5

i don’t hate kids either. i’m just not the one to rush up and coo at people’s babies or get in to all that kind of stuff. i just odn’t have the patient to deal with the screaming, crying, tantrums and all that.


#6

Not everyone is suited to be a loving parent, it would be better for some people not to have children,or even to get married, it’s not for everyone,


#7

There is nothing wrong with not being a “kid person”. The church has plenty of room for unmarried lay people. They can serve in very important rolls where those with children may not be able to fill because their focus has to be on their family.


#8

I think it is perfectly alright not to like kids.They are often a pain in the neck if you are left to look after them. However, I believe that often we change our perspective as we grow older. Some women find there are hormonal changes that affect their outlook on children.
Others find a solid marriage gives them the desire to “complete” the family.
To each their own, we all have a vocation where we can serve the Lord.
However, I will give a warning that a childless old age can be very lonely and the joy of having kids is very fulfilling for a lot of people.
God’s blessings on your future decision. May it be the best for you.


#9

I like kids but I’m not the clucky type that rushes up to people’s babies to coo at them. That’s not a requirement for liking kids.

I may be weird but when I look at a person I see them in all stages of their lives at once; as babies, children, teenagers, adults, senior citizens. I told my spiritual adviser about this and he told me that’s how God also looks at us, our past, present and future, all at once. This makes sense, since God is outside of time.

Anyway, sorry for rambling, I too, think it was better for me not to get married. I don’t think I would have made a great mom.


#10

you sound great


#11

The Catholic Church has always placed celibacy above marriage so there is most definitely room for you to be celibate.


#12

I feel the same way. I love my fiance with all my heart but I just don’t really want a crying baby to take care of if I’m being perfectly honest. Of course we will be open to it once were married (we think he might have fertility issues anyway based on past experiences before I was baptized), but I would prefer if God didn’t give us any children. Maybe that sounds harsh, but I’d rather other people who truly want them have them instead.


#13

I don’t think it’s wrong, I think it begins to be wrong when you wish harm on them.

Honestly, I feel the same way, I’ve always felt like the celibate life was more of what I wanted. I’ve never had the desire to be married or have children. I’m not good with children. I’ve always wondered if it was because I’m the baby of the family, but I have been an aunt basically my entire life, I have several nieces and nephews, who I love dearly, I care about their well being, but I don’t want to have to babysit, I can only handle them for a few hours.

Some people just weren’t meant to be married or have children.


#14

That is why God made oxytocin. Sometimes referred to as the “stupid” hormone, it is what binds couples through sexual intercourse, and is what binds mothers to babies, particularly through nursing.

Yeah, if you look at a squalling, puking, pooping, demanding, totally self-centered little “bundle of joy” in someone else’s arms, you sometimes wonder if they have lost their minds.

Short answer - yes, they did; and blame it on oxytocin. And God, since He knew we would need a way to make it through the 2 a.m. diaper change and feeding. And the 4 a.m. And the…

When our twins were finally released from the hospital. they came home on heart monitors and a 2 hour feeding schedule. Even after efficiency of scheduling set in, that meant maybe 45 minutes of sleep between feedings.

To this day, I have no patience with someone with their first child who tells me “how busy they are”.

And I would have done it again in a heartbeat.


#15

Dang that seems incredibly tough. See though, I just don’t know if I could handle that. Also, what if you have a kid and you don’t really like being a parent? I feel like that has to have happened before, right? People shake babies just to get them to stop crying out of frustration, what if I did something awful like that because I just couldn’t take it anymore? I feel like there’s no way to know these things until you actually have a kid and then it’s too late, ya know?


#16

You might have a different vocation.

We can do God’s work in many ways. And they don’t always include marriage.

Maybe God has something else in store for you.


#17

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