Is it wrong to tell someone who is hurting what they want to hear ever the right thing to do


Lets say a friend believes in XYZ.
You believe that is a sin.
But, that person is hurting because of what you believe.
Should you tell them what you think they want to hear?
How does one know that XYZ is in fact a sin?
Where can one find answers in books?


They are not hurting “because of what you believe.”

Should you tell them what you think they want to hear?

Of course not. You should pray for them.

How does one know that XYZ is in fact a sin?
Where can one find answers in books?

The Catechism, the Bible.


Simply ask yourself if letting them believe a lie leads them to heaven. Or put another way would you telling them what they want to hear lead them away from the Truth.

If you knowingly agree to lead someone down the path of sin you share in the culpability of their sin. That does not mean you must constantly try to dissuade them from the sin, but you must never be a party to upholding a sin as something good.


CCC 1759 “An evil action cannot be justified by reference to a good intention” (cf. St. Thomas Aquinas, Dec. praec. 6).


The most difficult thing to do is be truthful when the listener is hoping you will agree with them for friendship sake. Or even your own spouse!! Just imagine Jesus in the room with you, watching what you say. How you say it is just as important. Say it with love, and be gentle, but do not help them justify their actions if it will lead them to sin, do not kindly agree with their choice, be silent if you must, but do not vocalize your acceptance of their bad choice.

After Judas betrayed Jesus and they brought him before the high priests, they asked Jesus if He was the son of God. Jesus knew it was a trap, He knew it would mean his death, yet He told the truth. Try to be like Jesus. Don’t think about the consequences, just be honest. God will take care of the rest if you ask Him.

Perhaps say prayers before you discuss the issue with this person, asking the Holy Spirit to guide you what to say, or invite Jesus to speak through you.


It’s me again, here is my life dilemma. I have a close friend who has a same sex partner and they want all their friends to sign a petition to allow same sex marriage in our state. Well, I can’t do that!!! They are heartbroken that I won’t relent for them. They think the catholic faith hates gays. Of course we don’t. Even though I love these friends and feel for them, signing the petition or participating in their wedding would be a lie. This is real life. I have another pair of very close friends that have been trying to have a baby naturally, for the past ten years. They are catholic and are doing invitrofertilization, artificial semi nation and test tube processes, anything and everything to conceive a child and they feel that God understands, so they receive communion as if everything will be ok by God. Maybe so, but the rules don’t allow that. I was not invited to the baby shower. My own brother thinks it’s okay to go to mass whenever he has a free weekend, and thinks I need to keep my comments (reminders) to myself.

Real life situations. What are we to do? What are we to do? It’s difficult when it causes loved ones and friends pain. I just give it to God. I feel your pain… Keep us posted!


Concerning same-sex I think BANOSI

Behavior is sin
Attraction is temptation Gal 5
Not sure When Attraction becomes lust “look unto a woman lustfully”
Orientation is not clearly defined, nor does the research prove it exists – philosophical jello.
Same sex “marriage”, I simply have not done an enough research on related issues yet.
Is it even possible, for two people to get married and abstain from sex?

I have no clue on second question.

Concerning Mass, Is the person in a job that requires weekend work, like a Nurse. And, is there other times in the week, he can go?


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