Was watching a BYU Devotional speech this morning and thought of this thread. I’m not LDS but often find their speeches have a lot of ‘experiential wisdom’. PJ
Speech is called “Avoid It” by Lynn Robbins. This is just the “Dating” portion:
Let’s shift the spectrum we are considering ((cookies and craving)) from movies to dating. This time we will let my far right represent holding hands and my far left represent fornication. Between these two extremes, where do we draw the line over which we should not cross? For example, can a young man and a young woman kiss? I’m sure there are many in the audience who are thinking, “I sure hope so!” I’m not going to answer this question with a line but rather with a principle from For the Strength of Youth: “Do not do anything . . . that arouses sexual feelings.”
When my oldest daughter was dating, I taught her this same principle in this way: “When a person does anything on purpose, outside the bonds of marriage, to sexually arouse another person, he or she is crossing over a line into sacred territory.”
She said, “Dad, that can’t be entirely true, because a man may see a beautiful woman walking down the street and become aroused.”
I responded, “But did she do anything on purpose to arouse him? If she was dressed modestly, she didn’t do anything wrong. But if she was dressed immodestly, then she crossed over the line in the way she dressed.”
When you ponder on this principle, you will realize that a person can cross over that sacred line in the way they dress, in their conversation, in the way they dance, and clearly in the way they act and touch each other.
With this principle in mind, let me return to the question of kissing. Can a young man and a young woman kiss? Well, the correct answer to that question is “It depends.”
For the Strength of Youth cautions young people to “not participate in passionate kissing.” Why? Because passionate kissing puts the chocolate chip cookie in your hand—warm and moist and smelling good, and your body begins to prepare itself for the cookie. You are no longer simply fighting temptation but also fighting some powerful body chemistry and inviting temptation, not avoiding it. That kind of kissing should be reserved for marriage.
President Spencer W. Kimball said, “Even if timely courtship justifies the kiss, it should be a clean, decent, sexless one.” Did you notice that President Kimball used the singular form of the word kiss? Kiss-es, the plural form, will likely violate the principle we just learned of beginning to “arouse” each other.
To help you keep the spirit of President Kimball’s counsel, let me also add that it should be a brief kiss when courting, as a prolonged kiss will also shift your body’s chemistry into high gear.