Is kissing a girlfriend on the lips a sin?

I was just wondering if kissing a person on the lips is considered a sin if they are only your bf or gf.

I remembered my grandmother telling me that she never kissed my grandfather until they were married.

I guess times are different and a lot more than kissing is often expected in relationships these days. So is it a sin? Or can it be done in a non-sinful way?

How do you manage (especially for those who are 18-30 years old) in the modern world in terms of dating when things like sex are the hot topic and expectations in relationships since its not taboo at all anymore. Even amongst otherwise practicing Catholics who are in the 18-30 age group.

No kissing is not a sin, but it can be a near occasion of sin.

If kissing is something that might lead you to have bad thoughts, or possible lead into sinful acts then it is best to not do it.

Kissing itself is not inherently sinful. If kissing leads to instances of sin, like sex, then it is.

Society may change, but the teachings of the Church do not. Just because it is socially acceptable to have premarital sex (adultry) with your girlfriend, does not make it okay.

Managing is a lot easier than you think. It all depends on where you put your priorities. Would you rather make yourself feel good for a few minutes/hours, or stay in accordance with God’s commandments and the teachings of the Church?

Today’s world screams “ME, ME, ME!” and it’s easy to fall into that pit. Don’t. It doesn’t matter how many self-proclaimed Catholics willingly defy God’s commandments. The Truth remains, and we must follow that, even if we are few. As Our Lady of Fatima said, “More souls will go to Hell because of sins of the flesh than any other reason.”

Well said. :thumbsup:

I have 2 students in my catechism class who have not made 1st confession or 1st communion. Brothers who are 12 and 13. It’s a chore teaching them prayers and the seriousness of these sacraments. I don’t remember it being this difficult for me to learn (act of contrition ,7 sacraments. I would appreciate feed back. What do you think is pertinent for these boys to continue and proceed to reviewing these sacraments. Help is appreciated.

Hello Clasha1!

Welcome to the forums! I recommend that you start a thread. There are many people on here that would be willing to help give you advice.

As for what I can say for right now, I too teach CCD. I find it helpful if you use flashcards. Another thing that works well is rewarding them when they remember something. For example I might say “Everybody needs to listen to the Gospel for today’s Mass, if you do this and come back next week and tell me what it is and what it means, you get to pick something from the prize bin.”

Hope this helped, and feel free to pm me anytime you need anything else.

God Bless,

Kissing can be a near occasion of sin.

It’s also not necessarily a source of happiness. It is the natural (and healthy) desire of a man and woman in a romantic relationship to experience, enjoy, and surrender to each other fully in conjugal union. If this desire isn’t had by either or both people, then it is highly imprudent to enter the marital vocation, since marital union is supposed to be holistic: encompassing mind, soul, as well as body. It is possible that daily kissing is a little bit like putting yourself in the same room as a plate of cherries, without being able to pluck and truly taste them. And, based on how many boyfriends/girlfriends that intend to honor themselves, but end up fornicating, that seems like it may often be the case. On the other hand, it might just be a healthy expression of affection for two people potentially interested in marriage without stirring considerable temptation. This is something that each couple has to decide.


No, it is not. No priest I have ever talked to about the subject has told me that kissing is a sin. But, I have heard that French kissing is a sin. I don’t know about that but other than one time I messed up, I decided not to kiss like that just to be safe.

Really, it depends. Bold emphasis mine. This is pulled from

“While speaking about the unmarried, Pope Alexander VII condemned the idea that it is only a venial sin for the unmarried to kiss for the sensual pleasure arising from the kiss, even if there is no danger of further consent and of going even further. It’s condemned to say that it is only a venial sin for the unmarried to deliberately kiss for the pleasure of kissing.”

This implies that there can be mortal sin in kissing, even though there is no danger of “taking it to the next level.”

The article is worth the read. It will help to answer a lot of questions.

Kissing can be okay. But as the article suggests, it is probably best that kisses are kept brief, and are usually at hello and goodbye. It’d be fine to kiss during a particularly romantic occasion, such as, a wonderful gift given, or New Year’s, etc… but these kisses should probably not be something you feel like would be offensive if done inside a church.

If you’re getting aroused while kissing, it’s time to stop, whether the kiss was sinful or not.

Edit: having re-read the article, I highly recommend that you read it.

Further edit: you asked, how to manage. I suggest that you find like-minded individuals who will support you in this. Stay away from people who say “those Church rules are so outdated!” or “I get it, but don’t you think that’s a little extreme?” Well, yeah. A God who comes down from Heaven as man and dies by being nailed to a piece of wood in order to open the way to eternal salvation for us is a little extreme.

If you don’t have a support network, and you lack the self-discipline to run this on your own, you tread some thin ice. I say this to scare you, a little. I lived a very dissolute life (sexually) for a long time. Now that I wish to be celibate, the fruits of my sins wage a difficult war against me at times. I’m horrified when I really think about my sins. This is not something that I want for you. You will be amazed how quickly you can be drawn in, if you’re not careful. Not a good thing, haha!

This is partially why it’s important to date someone who is also a Catholic. Try to think about that when dating, also.

Rule of thumb: don’t do anything you would not do in front of your parents!

Only intrinsically evil acts are always wrong to freely choose regardless of intention and circumstance.

Kissing has never ever been listed as such an act.

So unless you provide details wrt circumstance and your own intentions nobody can provide you a definite answer here.

It is of course quite possible for you to sin by never kissing your girl friend.

Outside of the theological virtues (faith hope and charity) sin is due either to excess or deficiency.

Goodness, no! :slight_smile:

Not sinful, but don’t get carried away!

Was watching a BYU Devotional speech this morning and thought of this thread. I’m not LDS but often find their speeches have a lot of ‘experiential wisdom’. PJ

Speech is called “Avoid It” by Lynn Robbins. This is just the “Dating” portion:


Let’s shift the spectrum we are considering ((cookies and craving)) from movies to dating. This time we will let my far right represent holding hands and my far left represent fornication. Between these two extremes, where do we draw the line over which we should not cross? For example, can a young man and a young woman kiss? I’m sure there are many in the audience who are thinking, “I sure hope so!” I’m not going to answer this question with a line but rather with a principle from For the Strength of Youth: “Do not do anything . . . that arouses sexual feelings.”

When my oldest daughter was dating, I taught her this same principle in this way: “When a person does anything on purpose, outside the bonds of marriage, to sexually arouse another person, he or she is crossing over a line into sacred territory.”

She said, “Dad, that can’t be entirely true, because a man may see a beautiful woman walking down the street and become aroused.”

I responded, “But did she do anything on purpose to arouse him? If she was dressed modestly, she didn’t do anything wrong. But if she was dressed immodestly, then she crossed over the line in the way she dressed.”

When you ponder on this principle, you will realize that a person can cross over that sacred line in the way they dress, in their conversation, in the way they dance, and clearly in the way they act and touch each other.

With this principle in mind, let me return to the question of kissing. Can a young man and a young woman kiss? Well, the correct answer to that question is “It depends.”

For the Strength of Youth cautions young people to “not participate in passionate kissing.” Why? Because passionate kissing puts the chocolate chip cookie in your hand—warm and moist and smelling good, and your body begins to prepare itself for the cookie. You are no longer simply fighting temptation but also fighting some powerful body chemistry and inviting temptation, not avoiding it. That kind of kissing should be reserved for marriage.

President Spencer W. Kimball said, “Even if timely courtship justifies the kiss, it should be a clean, decent, sexless one.” Did you notice that President Kimball used the singular form of the word kiss? Kiss-es, the plural form, will likely violate the principle we just learned of beginning to “arouse” each other.

To help you keep the spirit of President Kimball’s counsel, let me also add that it should be a brief kiss when courting, as a prolonged kiss will also shift your body’s chemistry into high gear.

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