First of all, you must understand that oral sex, and ejaculation outside of the vagina, is a mortal sin. It violates the basic principles of human sexuality. I prefer the distinction between oral sex and oral stimulation, the second of which does not necessarily entail ejaculation outside of the vagina.
Common sense says that there is a vast difference between kissing on the couch and oral stimulation. In the first, the intention is to show affection and to be close, to be physically intimate in a way that does not intend to arouse each other for the purpose of having sex. In the second, arousal and continued arousal–along with intimacy and the such–is the direct intention of oral stimulation.
That said, there is nothing wrong in and of itself with oral stimulation, and couples would be free to practice it as they mutually wish. But what seems to me to be sinful is oral stimulation with the intention of not having sex, for this is misleading behavior. It is, in some sense, “lying with your body.” Furthermore, this type of behavior may strain the sexual relationship and put, at least from my experience, the man into a near occasion of sin.
You bring up a point worth discussing, but we mustn’t forget that there are some important distinctions to make here. Hope this helps.
Good question. It seems like you’re not allowed to do anything affectionate (out of desire) if it isn’t used as foreplay. That includes passionate embraces (clothed), and anything more than a peck on the cheek…
That is for the couple themselves to decide. Close kissing on the couch for one couple might be extremely sexually exhilarating, while for another, not so much. We must be careful not to assign blanket moral statements to a rather subjective thing. Then again, I apologize if I misread your post.
It really depends upon what is deemed “making out” in the particular instance that you mentioned. If it was simply passionate kissing, my feeling is that there is no sin committed. Now if it involves touching and activities of that nature, that would be where you would want to be sure that you are not crossing the line.
One must remember the intent of the act as well. For example, during a fertile time, a couple practicing NFP and wanting to delay a pregnancy could desire to be intimate with each other, but they know their limitations. They could share their desire for being intimate with a passionate kiss, leaving it at that, knowing that it can not go any further. If that is the intent. If one of them or both know that engaging in that kiss would bring them to the near occasion of sin, i.e. oral sex, then this becomes sinful.
Nobody said that oral sex is okay . It’s against moral , against virtue of chastity . Chastity Chastity is a virtue (like courage or honesty) that applies to a person’s sexuality. It means that you take all of your sexual desires and order them according to the demands of real love. For example, when you love a person, you make whatever sacrifice is best for them and you do whatever is necessary to keep from harming them. Chastity means that you take this definition of love and apply it to sex.
Some think that chastity simply means “no sex.” But that’s abstinence: focusing on what you can’t do and can’t have. Chastity is what you can do and can have, right now: a lifestyle that brings freedom, respect, peace, and even romance—without regret. Chastity frees a couple from the selfish attitude of using each other as objects, thus making them capable of True and Pure Love .
I’m sincerely not understanding this. So the Church teaches that anything more than a “peck on the cheek” between sacramentally married couples is sinful if it doesn’t lead to a full-completed marital act? So I’ve been in mortal sin all these years because of passionate (well, semi-passionate) goodby kisses in the morning?
Sometimes some of these answerers are unreal. O course kissing is not forbidden or a sin. Sometimes these questions get unreal. Any sign of love and afffection comes from God and of course he approves.
I call this using the ridiculous to rationalize one’s unbelief. It seems folks are looking for the tiniest reason to doubt the Church so they can justify this that and the other. It truly does not take a lot of study to see that the Catholic Church has the most liberating view on human sexuality, and that the Church places the dignity of the person as a key priority. The challenge, IMHO, is that many confuse freedom with license.
Nobody said OS is NOT OK either. Some people are not comfortable with it, and that is OK. They should not do it. Others find it pleasurable, both to give and receive. As long as it is done as foreplay, it is OK.
Obviously, if either party is uncomfortable, it should not be done. But for those who do enjoy it, there is nothing wrong with it.
The couple would not be sinning. Oral stimulation as foreplay involves deliberate stimulation of the sexual organs.No one should be doing that unless there is a likelihood of the marital act taking place. Theres a big difference between that and kissing.