Is Lust allowed in marriage?


#1

So I was browsing around for clarification on how far you can go with passion, desire, and a little beyond with your wife. There seems to be more opinions and scripture choosing than facts, with little focus from scripture. The big “Lust” word seems to be defined at will for whoever takes it upon themselves to define it. But I’m more interested in why people believe that lust in itself is a sin, or ungodly. I’m not trying to get thrown out, or mislead here, but I have to say that personally I believe that everything that exists has a proper place in God’s eyes and that nothing could exist without Him first willing it to be so as according to his design. What I’m saying here is I believe I’m supposed to lust for my wife. You can’t just have the urge to lust all your life without reason, that would be unnatural and makes no sense to the scriptures I’ve come to know about Gods intention to flourish the earth with children. I see scriptures that talk about fully submitting yourself to your spouse and one scripture where a guy tells his son to enjoy his wife as though he’s intoxicated with passion for her. (I can post those numbers if needed, but I’d rather stay on point) My point is that I’m pretty sure it’s ok to get it on however you like with your wife, as long as it’s with your wife only, and not in brown town. I would hate to be wrong on this, but I think that everyone expects that God wants you to slow it down on the body urges because of all the trouble it causes outside of marriage and God’s law. I believe those urges have a place and are sanctified with intention by the Maker of all things. Jesus said (I’m para-quoting, go easy) “You shouldn’t get divorced, and your previous law allowed you to because there was some give by the guy who was in touch with us back in the day. But it was not always so. In the beginning He created them both Male and Female, and what God brings together no man can separate” When His friends asked him about divorce, He told them once they’re paired through God in marriage that’s it, a vow is a vow. You break that, you’re breaking an oath with God which He stands by His oaths no matter what. So His friends say it’s better to be a virgin. Jesus says “Yes it is, and it’s a much brighter path because you don’t have to deal with all the mumbo jumbo stuff that goes on with courting and peacocking, it’s all a distraction and doesn’t matter, however not everyone CAN do this.” That means they CAN’T. Why? Because it’s the Fathers will that the earth multiply, which is why there’s urges, lust, not only with people, but all Gods creatures on the earth. The difference is we don’t take what we want, when we want, with whoever we want. God says first bring each other before me, understand those desires are to only be placed in each other. Kids are good. Family is good. So you know it’s going to be good. The more passionate the better.

Lust: 1. Very strong sexual desire
2. Have a very strong sexual desire for someone.

So if anyone has a compelling statement that’s not focused on me, I would truely love to hear it. Everybody should have the right to say what they believe. Just as long as everybody love everybody


#2

This is mostly a matter of differing definitions. The Catholic idea of lust is sexual desire that is not tempered with love and concern for the other person. You should treat sex as an opportunity to connect with your spouse, rather than treating your spouse as an outlet for your desires. That means always taking his/her needs into consideration, and not making it all about your release.


#3

Desiring your spouse is fine, lusting after your spouse as an OBJECT for one’s pleasure is not fine. There is a person in that “package” with a heart, mind and soul and they should ALWAYS be treated that way.


#4

Yeah. Redefine your definition of what lust is.


#5

No. Jpii said no. Can’t view wife as an object


#6

We should never lust after anyone. When we lust after someone, we degrade them to an object and do not treat them with love.


#7

The Catechism defines for us:

http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/para/2351.htm

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

It is one of the capital sins, from the 10 Commandments on, right there with murder.


#8

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