Is making marriage a life dream bad?

I will get married and I agree God is first and my future spouse will be second.

I want confirmation that me making marriage my life dream isn’t a sin or putting my future marriage before God. I know the married life is my vocation, the right women will come one day to me.

I just don’t want to put my marriage before God, and I just want to make sure I’m not doing so by marriage being my life’s dream.

It seems like you are hung up on the concept of “number one”, “main”, “primary”. What do you suspect should be your main goal instead of marriage? Volunteering and serving the community? Tending to the sick and the disabled? Visiting the incarcerated? Loving God and getting to Heaven should be our life’s main goal, but that is a pretty broad goal. I would say marriage is a more narrow goal that is inline with loving God and getting to Heaven. There is nothing wrong with feeling that marriage is important to your life, especially if you know you’ve been called to it. You know your own heart better than anyone online, so there’s only a problem if you value something more than God. Marriage and children has been my “main” goal in the sense that I’ve never cared much about my career so long as it supports my family.


The Lord won’t kidnap you. Relax. Every priest I know who thought he wanted to marry and later went to the seminary willingly answered the call. They were not spiritually hog-tied.

Sometimes, though, we think we’re sure what we know we want and what we’re meant for, and later we realize that we were premature in our judgment. It isn’t because we’re steam-rolled by the Almighty, though.

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You seem conflicted. You clearly want to put God first and do as He wants you to. And you clearly want marriage VERY much. You can’t force God to send you a spouse. You just have to trust him. He knows how much you want this. Just be careful not to want marriage more than you want what he wants for you. In his perfect time, in his perfect way, he will lead you to what He knows is best for you, if you keep him first.

A person should have a baseline amount of joy and peace simply being who they are, but if God is calling them to a certain vocation, their joy won’t be fulfilled until they follow that call to fruition.

Happiness is one of the best indicators that a person is doing God’s will. If a person wants to become a priest, they should, generally, become happier as they take steps towards that vocation.

Well, remember that God Himself said that “it is not good for man to be alone”, so if you are not called to celibacy and/or cannot handle it, and you are eligible to be married, marriage actually is how you follow God’s will!

Even if you do get married, enter marriage with an open heart and not too many certitudes. Being married is no guarantee for children, and God’s will works in mysterious ways, even where we think we are sure to have discerned right.


Just ask God what his will is for your life and follow his will, rather than making what you want (marriage) your life goal. It may be the case that it is Gods will for you but make sure you are open to God’s will in your life. That is dont close your eyes to anything else God may be pointing you to in the meantime such as study etc. If you find yourself thinking I don’t need that I’ll be married, then take it to God in prayer and ask him his will. If you are confused about something wait and let God make your way clear. Take everything to him in prayer, sincerely seeking his will and he will not hide it from you. Then if he brings you marriage you’ll know it’s his will and won’t need to worry about this question. Same really with everything in life. God bless

That applies to me and my vocation to marriage. I know I wouldn’t be happy in the priesthood or religious life. The idea of me leaving my vocation to marriage for them just does not bring me peace. I desire to dedicate my life to serving God through my marriage and religious ministry or however He wants me to serve Him in my married life in general. I’m clear about what I want. I just wanted to make sure that making marriage my life dream wasn’t placing it before God.

In the end, God will do what God will do.
I didn’t terribly want to get married ever.
Happened anyway. And it was good.
Just trust God and don’t worry.

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Vocations are not always somethings we start of not wanting then happen anyway. They also things we can want from the beginning. God has made it clear in my heart that marriage is my vocation just like He eventually did with you. Many blessings.

All of the Sacraments, including marriage, are vehicles of Grace.

Children are the fruit of marriage, and do help us to grow in the works of mercy.

Still, one would never let wife search or even their children be above God.

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I agree. I not wanting to place my future wife and children above God is what lead me to create this thread.

You want to bring Glory to God in your life. There are many ways to do this. You can have more than one goal in life. Putting God first does not mean you neglect other priorities. You can have a family, a career, and serve others all giving praise to God.

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I think you are overthinking this and also putting the cart before the horse. How old are you? This honestly sounds a bit scrupulous.

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