Is making out a mortal or venial


How does one break away from a sinful
relationship…is making out and dry humping a sin…is it a mortal sin or venial sin…my boyfriend wants us to keep making out (we have never had the “real thing”)which makes me go for confession weekly confessing the same sin…is it wrong…i cannot even concentrate in my spiritual life or personal prayers


Y’all are on very shaky ground doing what you are doing. The best thing is to NOT even put yourselves in the situation you are in because you may not be able to stop from crossing the line and going too far.

GREAT video by Father Mike Schmitz about this


Generally, when we say the Act of Contrition, we promise to avoid the near occasions of sin. Are you actually doing that? Avoiding the situations that get you into these occasions of sin, which may lead to more serious sin?

It’s time to wake up and really examine your relationship. Bring Jesus front and center into all aspects of your life, including this part of your life. Can you pray with your boyfriend? If not, is this really a relationship you want to pursue? If you can pray with him than bring prayer into your dates - praying at the beginning and end of your times together and praying for purity.

Be at peace.



You may want to consider how important your relationship with God is which leads to eternal salvation. You may want to look at the life of St. Augustine.

Please, and I speak unfortunately from experience, run, run far from the near occasion of sin. And, when you’re in a relationship, the other person puts pressure on you, too, which makes things even more difficult. And also, if a person is pressuring you, they are NOT looking out for you & what’s best for you.

This is very difficult to overcome but God will help you if you let Him.

Also, if you fall, run immediately back to God in confession, however, I am definitely not encouraging you to fall.

You are in my prayers, please pray for me.


It is, as I understand, gravely sinful to seek or deliberately consent to sexual pleasure outside of marriage (note: it can still be okay to engage in actions e.g. hand holding, kissing, embracing, etc. where arousal may occur provided it is not sought or indulged in, and they are done for a legitimate purpose). Not all actions between couples will involve this of course, although something like dry humping seems to me to be pretty much inherently directed toward such pleasure, or at least direct stimulation, and therefore immoral. It’s not okay for acts to be used as a substitute for the “real thing,” as sexual pleasure sought outside of its proper context is disordered.

It might be a good idea to ask your priest for some general principles to follow, so you know when you would be overstepping and, more importantly, that you’re acting for the spiritual good of both of you. Praying for you.

EWTN’s website has an article on what’s acceptable in dating:


I think it’s venial - to answer the question at hand.
But you have to ask yourselves what are you doing. Why are you doing it. Do you plan to get together for life or just can’t control your sensations. If he is not Catholic then ask yoirself what are you doing. Do you want to be with this guy or not? According to the Bible the only reason to make out is mariage. If you don’t even conceive the idea of ever marrying this guy than say you don’t want to do this anymore and let things happen from this point on.


Kissing and hugging as an expression of affection is moral. If it is done to obtain sexual arousal, it is at least a venial sin. Dry humping is a sexual act, so that would be objectively a mortal sin. Any type of sexual act is a mortal sin for unmarried persons.


I would guess it is past time to put a moratorium on your relationship because one thing leads to another. One action leads to a reaction. Time to put the brakes on NOW.


Rule of thumb! Do not do anything you would not do in front of your parents!


Time for a new boyfriend. This one seems to lack both self-control and consideration for your feelings.


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