Is modesty overrated?


If modesty is such a good thing then why is it all the women with cleavage out that get the likes and comments on Instagram?
I am not referring to the sleazy type men that we all know of but instead from men who seem like family men type.
Not sleazy comments about their figure but rather comments like “pretty girl”.

It doesn’t seem like anyone cares about modesty anymore except the most devout Christians and Muslims.
(My viewpoint is coming both from my Slavic background and living in Australia so I have experience in those cultures but I accept it may be different in USA where religion plays a greater factor in people’s lives.)

What’s the fine line between being and feeling sexy and feminine versus being immodest?


Modesty is an important aspect of chastity and it is important to dress in an appropriate manner out of love of our neighbor. Others should safeguard their eyes and it is mostly their fault when they sin, but we should do our part. I don’t know understand people that want to feel “sexy.”


Better for the ladies to answer this one.


Maybe so. But as a single thirty year-old man, let me just say I find modest women a LOT more attractive than women with everything hanging out.


The problem is our “family type seeming” neighbour is anyway on Instagram looking at photos of pretty girls with cleavage.

Regarding sexy,my sister sometimes says the same as what you said about it but my concern though is that no man wants a woman who is sexless.
To be honest,I think I would rather be the girl on Instagram with the cleavage and compliments then the wife who finds out the husband looking and then feels betrayed,inadequate,lack of trust,low self esteem,thought her husband only had eyes for her etc…

I guess I have a bit of a “if you can’t beat them,might as well join them mentality” but I recognise my thinking is a bit black and white though but don’t know any other options.


If only there were more like you😊


No, it is dramatically underrated.

Modesty, like all of the virtues, make the individual and the family of the individual more content, fulfilled and happy.


I’m not really sure what you mean regarding the family of the individual.
I mean if a woman is modest but her husband or father is looking at admiring women who aren’t then how would this lead to contentment of the family?


There are plenty of dresses that are stylish and modest. I guess, w girls wearing thong bathing suits, & TV showing so much, I don’t worry about my hem being 1jnch lower than the knee. I won’t wear miniskirts. My hems go from on top of my knee to the floor. In fact, as I was typing this, I realized I like long, maxi dresses.
This is tricky here. Say you are wearing a camisole w spaghetti straps. They accentuate boobs. I notice others wearing an over shirt, unbuttoned.,The overshirt May be transparent.
Shorts should be to mid thigh. Bicycle shorts are good. Capri pants are good.
Naked arms are OK but the cleavage shouldn’t show. I don’t show cleavage but if the tip of the top line shows, that’s OK.
If Jesus, came down and stood before you, would He, be happy or sad. You are not a sex toy for a raging hormonal boy. You are a treasure to be admired. The other thought is you don’t want to advertise sex b/c boys won’t consider who you are as a Spirit. They need to know all of you. Your brain,your talents, your relationship w God. How will they find your brain, if all theyre looking at is your body??
If you wish to attract young men for marriage, consider this: LUST feels great. It is what attracts us in a love match. So, we fall in LUST/LOVE. The only way to know whether or not he loves you, is to say,” NO “ to sex!! If he is in love, he won’t want to leave. If it’s Lust, they’ll take and walk away. You’d be damaged goods.
So, don’t be a sex object. Be a beautiful young, entire person…Hold out for the good guy. Don’t wear spaghetti straps in church.
God bless you, dear
Google prayers for Modesty or Purity.


I should probably clarify I’m an adult.My sister and I are both adults but if the tip of the top line of my cleavage is showing she tells me I need to wear something else and this annoys me!


It wouldn’t, but this example falls apart for me if we begin with the notion that a husband/father admiring immodest women on or off the Internet somehow means the wife/daughter is doing something wrong. She isn’t. The man, however, is. Fixing whatever discontent exists in the family begins with changing his behavior, not altering the woman’s.


What annoys you,may be that what your sister " says" cannot come in one ear and leave the other one…
She " says". We all " say". Try not to catch all the balls that fly…
You can also hear ,and let go…


But how can a person still care about modesty in an environment like this especially when the current culture (not just young men but old too) seems to affirm immodesty as being good through social media “likes” and nice compliments?

I’m not surprised that I am in two minds as on one hand I was raised in a (Cultural) Catholic environment and was baptised etc but on the other hand my father loves things like James Bond movies etc which “modelled” to me a very different way that women should be!
The majority of actresses are known for sexiness and beauty -it seems that this is what gives a woman “affirmation” in this life and who doesn’t want that?


You’re right.
The problem is that I do “catch the flying ball”.


It is something we have to deal with in one way or another. …It is life…
Not everything people say is " a ball we have to catch".
Sometimes it resonates and we ponder about it.
Sometimes it almost feels like someone is saying " you have green hair".
Do you have " green hair"? No. So let go.
It is an exercise. For all of us…


It isn’t easy , @Rozellelily .

I am becoming more and more aware of the need for us to be countercultural .

Many us have compromised our standards , accepting the easy way out , just going with the flow .

The prevailing enviironment of Western societies in the media , in politics , in language , in dress etc . is so at variance with the way of the Gospel .

It’s hard .


Like chastity, modesty works each and every time it is employed. When you show off, you catch the eyes of every lewd, lascivious guy out there - a few registered sexual offenders among them.

Sound enticing?

Those looking for a modest soul mate may flirt briefly with their eyes, then move on.

Sounds like modesty is just fine.


I read the Vatican’s code of dress. That’s why I said, NO SPAGHETTI STRAPS IN CHUCH.Our sleeves are to -go to mid upper arm. The hem should be 1 inch below the knee. Dresses only for church. Shorts preferred are the Bermuda shorts that go down to mid-thigh. Or bicycle shorts have length. Some may reject those b/c they are firm fitting.,
Anyway, pretty or beautiful is not sexy…
I’n Christ’s Love


I would agree except some of these guys don’t look like sleazes,sex offenders etc and that’s where I find the problem.

For example I saw one “family man” in around his 60’s age group on his Facebook have one photo with his wife and another photo literally outside a brothel!

Appearance wise he looked respectable.


The typical viewpoint is that guys don’t respect women like this but in reality it seems like they do(?) because they think like “wow” when they see them on Instagram,or even at Bondi Beach now,so many of the women have half their bums sticking out of their costumes and they have heaps of guy friends and the guys just act all casual about it and don’t act disrespectful.:astonished:

Is it just that everyone has been de -sensitised to this and its now perceived as normal?

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