Is my wife considering conversion?

My wife is not catholic. We’re approaching our 5-year wedding anniversary and we have a 2-year-old daughter (baptized in the Catholic Church) When we first started dating, I invited her to join me but did not pressure her at all. I believe a conversation about her conversion happened once. I made it clear to her that she was under no obligation to convert, but lately I think the is considering it (or at least thinking about it).

On the outside, the is a Catholic, she goes to mass and recites the prayers and everything, she just doesn’t receive communion. In fact, our parish recently sent our a flyer to update their directory and they had her listed as being a Catholic.

She had said a while back that if she wanted to convert, then she would have done it already. However when the RCIA classes were announced this past November and then again during the Lenten season, she has been asking me questions about RCIA classes. Questions like, what do they talk about and why does it take so long? I try to answer as best I can, but I honestly don’t know all the answers to all the questions.

My questions is what do I do now? I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t be ecstatic if she converted, but I don’t feel like I love her any less because she isn’t Catholic. I want to talk about it, but I fear it might be too early and she will see me as trying to convert her. I want it to be her decision, not mine.

My husband just came into the church last month during the Easter Vigil after 14 years of marriage. I am still ecstatic as you say.:slight_smile: I prayed for his conversion at times but then at other times it seemed so hopeless that I was too disheartened to pray. He too did a great bit of waffling. At times it almost seemed cruel for him to imply that he would start RCIA, I would get excited, then he’d say he wasn’t going to, he was already a Christian, he didn’t need classes, the time commitment was too long, etc. Then I would feel let down. The more I showed it the more I felt it clouded his decision. I came to a place where I emotionally became very, very neutral on the outside. I had to.

I know it is hard to find that balance, of not being pushy yet being encouraging. Last year I mentioned to him that I would be his sponsor if he ever wanted, that he wouldn’t have to go to the classes alone, that I would get a babysitter. I didn’t say it like it was this big deal, I just mentioned it very casually. Last September he signed up for RCIA. I think a big part of it was that it wasn’t something he had wanted to do all by himself. Maybe offer her to make RCIA a little mini-date night. If you can, get a sitter, go with her to the classes and have dinner together before or after (even if it’s fast food). It will make this something we are doing as opposed to something she has to do. I would present it this way, not to coerce her, but to just present it in as appealing a way as possible. :smiley:

I pray your wife comes whole-heartidly into the church soon. :signofcross:

P.S. As your 2 year old grows and makes First Communion it would be sad for your wife to be the only one to have to stay in the pew. I think this also played a role in my husband’s timing. He was confirmed at the Easter Vigil, our oldest daughter made her First Communion the following Sunday (Divine Mercy Sunday). Our daughter would come home from catechism talking about different things they had talked about. Your child may be the instrument God uses to bring your wife into the faith. You never know. Try not to lose hope.

I am in a similar situation. My wife comes from a strong Pentecostal background - and we have been married for 20 years. After compromising for a while in a Methodist Church, we now have been attending the Catholic church for almost 10 years. The question of conversion or RCIA classes has not come up. But we talk a lot about faith and we enjoy watching the conversion stories presented by Marcus Grodi.

I think you are right by not pushing your wife. Let her go at her pace. I can highly recommend listening to Marcus Godi’s interviews (Journey Home on YouTube).

Ask her about it again. Be loving and if you don’t know the answer to a question say so and look up the answer together.
Tell her how happy you would be if on your child’s first communion if you can receive as a family.

I’m praying for you and your family my brother.

God bless

I wouldn’t push it, but if she brings up RCIA I might say something like: if you are interested I can go with you. If she decides not to go or convert don’t act disappointed in her. She might join you completely one day.

Keep answering her questions. As PP said, if you don’t know the answer, look it up togerher. Personally, I would think about her personality before bringing up your child’s first communion. That is the type of comment that would make me panic a bit. I wanted to make sure I was converting because I believed, not because I didn’t want to feel left out. Hearing that would have made me question why I was considering it.

Basically, all my husband did was answer questions as I asked. He remained fairly neutral on the topic though I knew he would love it if I converted. He kept it casual so I didn’t feel any pressure to coonvert. Fortunately, my ILs took the same tack both before and after I told them I was in RCIA (which took probably 4 or 5 months). That was almost as nerve wracking as telling my husband!

pray, pray, pray! my wife was catholic when we married, i was not. after 26 years of raising our children catholic, when the last one went off to college, i started attending mass with her. after 10 more years, i finally started rcia last fall. i am now catholic and very, very happy. she never pressured me, always prayed for me and set a good example. 36 years was a long time to wait, but i don’t think she could have done anything to speed it up. it’s on God’s time, not ours. i pray that your wife doesn’t wait as long as i did.the sacraments of reconciliation and eucharist are the most wonderful things in the world.

Thank you everyone. I will continue praying. The last time she mentioned the RCIA classes, I had mentioned to her that I would like to attend them because, as a cradle Catholic, there are several parts of the faith that I either don’t know or don’t remember.

I will keep encouraging when the subject is brought up. I don’t think I’m ready, nor is she, for me to just bring it up.

i think you’re handling it correctly. if she does eventually sign up for rcia, definitely go with her. the support from my wife was wonderful, and we would spend the week talking about what we learned and read the catechism together in prep for the next weeks class. she learned a lot and so did two ccd teachers who were there to help, but couldn’t believe how much they did not know. of course, we were blessed to have a wonderful priest who was very outgoing and knowledgable. praying for you and your wife!

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