I’m a Catholic male with same sex attractions. I’ve been struggling all my life to the addiction of looking at shirtless men and getting arousal and pleasure from it. I also can’t help looking at men who are wearing tank tops in public. Anything where a man is showing more skin in the torso will instantly get my attention. Now that it’s summer, these temptations are ever more powerful. Lately I’ve seen men dress promiscuously (majority of the time in tank tops) at the mall and on the streets and I didn’t bother fighting the temptation not to look. I’m too weak :(.
I feel particularly guilty today, because I spent the majority of the day (several hours) looking at pics of shirtless men on the internet. I felt I had to satisfy this craving or else I’d go crazy. Looking at a shirtless man is not pornography or nudity, and yet it feels like a porn addiction.
I go to confession weekly. My priest has gotten so sick and tired of hearing me telling him these sins over and over again, that I can hear him sigh every time he realizes it’s me in the confessional again. He keeps telling me that I’m not truly remorseful because I keep doing it over and over again. But he doesn’t understand that it’s not that easy!
One of the rationalizations that I tell myself before I fall into this sin is that looking at a shirtless man is not porn or nudity, so how can it be a mortal sin? So how sinful is the objectification of men? Is it a mortal or venial sin? I haven’t masturbated in 4 years, so this is purely psychological.