Is One Kid Enough?


#1

Is One Kid Enough?
Having more than one child may not add to a parent’s happiness…

health.msn.com/pregnancykids/pregnancy/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100152084&GT1=9098

Ok personally I think this was a waste of Univ. of Penn money to do such a study…


#2

So, stopping at one child is all about "maximizing your subjective well being?"
If having children is all about “me” then one shouldn’t have kids at all.
Children are the fruil of the love between husband and wife.
(I’m not talking about those who hve one child through no fault of their own).


#3

ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!!

thats what this whole thing reeks of… let me not think of the fact that when i am gone… my kid will not have a sibling to share his joys and sorrows with…!!!


#4

Who knows? As for myself, I couldn’t wait to get pregnant again after I had my first child. So, yes, having a baby made me realize that I loved being a mother, and it compelled me to have more children. Each of them (4 so far) have been blessings, and I couldn’t imagine my life without them at this point.


#5

We have 3. And we would have been open to life if God chose to give us more. Our family is amazing and truly a blessing for both my spouse and I. When we are all together, the comaraderie shared by our children, even though they are now distanced by college is incredible to watch. We see that they need each other so much just as friends and support systems. They keep in daily touch with each via email and text messaging too. To deny any child a sibling, unless you cannot bear more children due to physical problems or infertility for me is unconscionable.

If anyone believes that you could not love a second child as much as you love the first…rest assured. Love multiplies when you have children. It never is divided. Love & happiness multiplies! And believe me, when the parents begin to age or their health deteriorates, even though one of the siblings may bear most of the load when it comes to caring for them, at least they have a support system to lean on when those days arrive.
Thank God it does too!


#6

I feel the same way! But I was also soooo happy with one child before blessing #2 was given to us. I felt so fulfilled with just the one that I gained insight to the sometimes misguided compassion (would that be it?) of some parents who only want one child even if they have the resources and health for more. I couldn’t imagine more happiness. But now with my two beautiful children I feel even better :slight_smile: Even though it’s only been a month, I can’t imagine not having our baby. And I would be sad if I knew this was to be our last (hopefully we’ll have many more :D).


#7

Having more than one child may not add to your time or money or energy levels, but it does add to the life and joy and love in a household, from what I’ve seen… I’m not a parent, so I can’t speak from experience… and if everyone just has one child, we won’t be seeing much more of the human race left to be ‘happy’.


#8

I don’t even need to read the article to answer this one!

As an only child rendered such by parents who could not have another child for grave health reasons, I can say that no child should be an only child by design! I had a good childhood in a lot of ways (complete with several “sisters” as friends) – and I never held my siblinglessness against my folks, of course – but I know that there has always been someone missing: my brother(s)/sister(s). So, as one who knows from experience, please do not *choose *to deprive your child of the joys and challenges of loving brothers and sisters.


#9

:clapping:


#10

What did China fund this study? For a couple, it would be best to have one male child, for the most gain of happiness for a couple. It didn’t matter so much for the mother, but it did for the father, so I conclude that the biggest happiness gain for the family is to have one son.

Good greif! Those that try to chase happiness are those that tend to never be able to have it. I’m sure the most happiness one can gain, is not actually from trying to be happy, but from the result of doing something well.


#11

more children–>more love–>more true happiness :slight_smile:

The more children, the more people in your household you can love and the more people there are who love you! :slight_smile:


#12

Being an only child can sometimes suck. I’m an only child and I wish I had an older sister or a younger sibling.

I’m gonna be a dad soon and I’m not making my kid go through the same thing I did. My kid will have a sibling for sure. It’s happier that way… you’ll see. :thumbsup:


#13

Did the study measure the happiness of people who have all their children out of the house? Or the happiness of grandparents?

Imagine being in a nursing home waiting for the once-a-year visit from your only child, and your only grandchild. If ya had 12 kids, then you at least have one visit per month.

If you have the presence of mind to think of your duty to society here’s a real gem from Jared Diamond.

[FONT=Times New Roman]Would anybody like to guess what is the single factor that is the best predictor of the collapse of societies in the last couple of decades? This is an unfair question because it’s so surprising. The strongest predictor is infant and child mortality. Countries that have had high infant or child mortality are more likely to undergo State collapse, and there are many links, including difficulties in the workforce, high ratio of children to adults. – *Jared Diamond, October 2002 *http://www.abc.net.au/rn/talks/bbing/stories/s743310.htm] (emphasis mine)

[/FONT]


#14

Having one kid per family would result in a greying population and population decline… I wonder if it serves our collective happiness to have people working until the age of 75, or perhaps until the day we die, and for each couples’ only child bearing the full responsibility for both their parents’ care and their (one) child’s care.


#15

I hope that works out for you. I’m an only child too (not by my parents’ choice), and DH and I were planning to have at least three of our own. Well, God had other plans. Now it’s “as many as we can afford to adopt when we have enough money to consider it”. :frowning:


#16

My husband and I have only one child, due to health reasons. As far as I know, I am able to get pregnant again but it would endanger my health. I can’t risk my life to have another child when I’ve got to stay healthy and ALIVE for the precious child I’ve already got.

I think there’s a lot of prejudice toward families with only children. I read somewhere that, historically, it was considered a tragedy if people were unable to have any children or if they only had one child because it meant something was wrong with them.

It really hurt my feelings when a friend’s mother rudely informed me at a birthday party, “You won’t ever talk to an only child who didn’t hate being an only child.” I matched her bluntness by replying, “Speak for yourself. You will not find a happier, more well-adjusted child than mine.”

He’s seven and half years old and he is indeed, happy and well-adjusted with a heart for the Lord.

I don’t think you should have children just because it seems like the right thing to do or for insurance for your old age.

By the way, I have an older brother and we are not close at all–though I am not happy about it and wish to improve our relationship. Sometimes I feel like an only child myself.


#17

We (dh and I) have 3 children, whom we love very much. For me, having kids was like having a potato chip – I just couldn’t stop at one. I was intoxicated with the love for our first, then our second, then our third. I hope and pray that they will be close and will be there for each other when dh and I are gone, but there are no guarantees.

I have several sibs, but we aren’t and never have been close. Not sure why. My best friend since high school is more of a sister to me than any of my biological sisters. My brother is now practically a stranger to me. So I think having children so that they will care for you in your old age or be there for each other is risky. And for those who do have singles and worry about their child not having siblings – all of my sisters and I have friends who are our de facto sisters. There’s no reason your children won’t develop life long, supportive friendships.


#18

this is true up to a point, but i think at the 20+ level, things would get quite a bit out of hand.:stuck_out_tongue:


#19

this is true up to a point, but i think at the 20+ level, things would get quite a bit out of hand.:stuck_out_tongue:

It’s not like you’d ever have 20 kids in diapers at the same time. Even if they were spaced 12 months apart - you’d have ten kids over 10 years old to help out.

If they’re spaced 2 years apart. . . well. . . then, 20 kids is beginning to look impossible anyway.


#20

I agree that people can be very rude to people with what society considers “too many kids” or "not enough kids"
it is wrong to think that a home with many children means that someone is left out or lacking etc. and it is just as wrong to think a family with only one child is somehow less than or not equal to a family with many.
My aunt and uncle were unable to have more than one child and many things they have heard are “oh, that is so sad” or "oh, your poor daughter"
I think that is just wrong, they adore their 13 yrd old miracle daughter and are so thrilled God blessed them with their daughter.
They are doing everything to make sure she has many friends and cousins to grow up with.
It is not sad or tragic, they look at it as a huge blessing.
We as society must get over this too many or too little, just love them and raise them right and enjoy them and thank God for them weather you have 1 or 21 kids… why is society so hung up on the how many kids thing? I have 4 children and I’ve heard some people say “how do you do it?” and I have also had Catholics say “when will you have more?” well, its none of their business that I can’t have anymore but what is the big deal these days about everyone feeling the need to explain how few or how many kids they have? When we as a society start to take on the attitude that “this is my family and my business” maybe this will settle down.
Since we can’t know why people have only one child we assume they are practicing birth control when in fact it is none of our business, it is between God and that family and when we question a large family, same thing, why? Why do we care so much about what thy neighbor is doing?
I can’t believe a study had to be done on this but that is the society we live in, very sad.


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