i’m not suicidal or anything, but i find life to be such a drudgery and full of nothing but struggles and i’ll be so relieved when it is over.
Most of the saints were hopeful for death because it signaled leaving this pilgrimage and returning homeward.
While it’s not necessarily a sin to pray for death, doing such could probably lead to some unhealthy attitudes about life and may even foster negative, uncharitable responses to life’s ongoing drudgeries. Rather than praying for death, why not pray with St Paul:
*For to me life is Christ, and death is gain. If I go on living in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. * (Phil 1:21-22a)
We just completed a thread on this topic. See the link for answers.
“dang71” Aw, hang in there. :console: I understand the feeling. Just last night, I was so lonely. I was looking at a picture of my late father… who I will miss very much on Father’s Day. He died in 1988. And I started to cry… and began talking to Jesus. And telling Him how MUCH I want to be with Him and His Mother… and all of my family and friends, who have passed.
But before long… I started to feel better and I realized, how pleasing it is to God… when we move forward with our lives. Our Heavenly Father has a plan for each one of us. This life goes by swiftly. We will Go Home, soon enough. But for now… there’s work to be done.
May Our good Lord grant you peace and comfort. God bless.
Buddy, hang in there. I’ve had something similar happen in my family. We’ve prayed MUCH about it, and I’ve searched for wisdom that I may offer as counsel for them (and myself at times). One piece of interesting advice I received from my spiritual director; a holy Franciscan priest. It might sound a little crazy, but he quickly recommended ‘prayer of praise’ in these situations. He cited a battle in the old testatment where God’s people were essentially doomed by an overwhelming enemy. The people were told to bring out their musical instruments and begin to sing in praise of the Almighty. Seems like a strange thing to do in such a seemingly bleak moment of despair. God’s people prevailed. Father explained to me that God was teaching us that prayer of praise is extremely pleasing to Him, and has been remarkably effective in his experience.
If you haven’t heard of it already, I definitely recommend Arise From Darkness by Fr. Groeschel.
You’re in my prayers.
((hugs)) sometimes I feel this way too. I know what you mean and I actually had the same question before… try to surrender yourself to God’s will. Since you’re on earth right now, it’s His will for you to be alive. That means He wants to use you here on earth in ways and to help build His kingdom. He has a plan for you. Someday, He’ll call you home to Heaven, and of course there’s nothing wrong with wanting it, but remember this life has many purposes, one of which is to earn merit for Heaven…try to live each day for God, remember He has a plan a hope and a future for you, and don’t give in to despair. Despair is from the enemy. So is discouragement… just follow God the best you can, and someday in Heaven you’ll be so glad you did
If you are suffering, try to unite your suffering to those of Jesus on the Cross, and that way you’ll be carrying your own cross. This really pleases God (not the suffering, but the love with which you endure it). This is what Christ told us to do.
Also, I think there’s a reason why God doesn’t just take us to Heaven right after baptism we know the Lord, but there are so many who do not, so many others who are suffering and who live in darkness. Try to use this life to reach out to them and love them, and live out your faith the best you can, to bear fruit.
When it gets really tough, think of God’s love for you and the eternal happiness we can have in Heaven, but don’t let that prevent you from living for God today. **Remember, each day is a gift from Him. **
Remember, suffering can either take us to Heaven or to hell. Meaning that it can either discourage us and cause us to lose faith in God’s goodness, or, it can help in our sanctification. Unite your own sufferings to that of Jesus on the Cross and it will sanctify you.
"My daughter, know that if I allow you to feel and have a more profound knowledge of My sufferings, that is a grace from Me. But when your mind is dimmed and your sufferings are great, it is then that you take an active part in My Passion, and I am conforming you more fully to Myself. It is your task to submit yourself to My will at such time, more than at others… "
Jesus to St. Faustina
"The everlasting God has
in His wisdom foreseen
from eternity the cross
that He now presents to you
as a gift from His inmost heart.
This cross He now sends you
He has considered with His all-knowing eyes,
understood with His divine mind,
tested with His wise justice,
warmed with loving arms
and weighed with His own hands
to see that it be not one inch too large
and not one ounce too heavy for you.
He has blessed it with His holy Name,
anointed it with His consolation,
taken one last glance at you
and your courage,
and then sent it to you from heaven,
a special greeting from God to you,
an alms of the all-merciful love of God."
(St Francis de Sales)
This is from St Faustina’s diary
Conversation of the Merciful God with a Suffering Soul.
Jesus: Poor soul, I see that you suffer much and that you so not have even the strength to converse with me. So I will speak to you. Even though your sufferings were very great, do not lose heart or give in to despondency. But tell Me, My child, who has dared to wound your heart? Tell Me about everything, be sincere in dealing with Me, reveal all the wounds of your heart. I will heal them, and your suffering will become a source of your sanctification.
Soul: Lord, my sufferings are so great and numerous and have lasted so long that I become discouraged.
Jesus: My child, do not be discouraged. I know your boundless trust in Me; I know you are aware of My goodness and mercy. Let us talk in detail about everything that weighs so heavily upon your heart.
Soul: There are so many different things that I do not know what to speak about first, nor how to express it.
Jesus: Talk to Me simply, as a friend to a friend. Tell Me now, My child, what hinders you from advancing in holiness?
Soul: Poor health detains me on the way to holiness. I cannot fulfill my duties. I am as useless as an extra wheel on a wagon. I cannot mortify myself or fast to any extent, as the saints did. Further more, nobody believes I am sick, so that mental pain is added to those of the body, and I am often humiliated. Jesus, how can anyone become holy in such circumstances?
Jesus: True, My child, all that is painful. But there is no way to heaven except the way of the cross. I followed it first. You must learn that it is the shortest and surest way.
Soul: Lord, there is another obstacle on the road to holiness. Because I am faithful to You, I am persecuted and suffer much.
Jesus: It is because you are not of this world that the world hates you. First it persecuted Me. Persecution is a sign that you are following in My footsteps faithfully.
Soul: My Lord, I am also discouraged because neither my superiors nor my confessor understand my interior trials. A darkness clouds my mind. How can I advance? All this discourages me from striving for the heights of sanctity.
Jesus: Well, My child, this time you have told Me a great deal. I realize how painful it is not to be understood, and especially by those whom one loves and with whom one has been very open. But suffice it is to know that I understand all your troubles and misery. I am pleased by the deep faith you have, despite everything, in My representatives. Learn from this that no one will understand a soul entirely - that is beyond human ability. Therefore, I have remained on earth to comfort your aching heart and to fortify your soul, so that you will not falter on the way. You say that a dense darkness is obscuring your mind. But why, at such times, do you not come to Me, the light who can in an instant pour into your soul more understanding about holiness than can be found in any books? No confessor is capable of teaching and enlightening a soul this way.
Know, too, that the darkness about which you complain I first endured in the Garden of Olives when My Soul was crushed in mortal anguish. I am giving you a share in those sufferings because of My special love for you and in view of the high degree of holiness I am intending for you in heaven. A suffering soul is closest to My Heart.
Soul: One more thing, Lord. What should I do when I am ignored and rejected by people, especially by those on whom I had a right to count in times of greatest need?
Jesus: My child, make the resolution never to rely on people. Entrust yourself completely to My will saying, “Not as I want, but according to Your will, O God, let it be done unto me.” These words, spoken from the depths of one’s heart, can raise a soul to the summit of sanctity in a short time. In such a soul I delight. Such a soul gives Me glory. Such a soul fills heaven with the fragrance of her virtue. But understand that the strength by which you bear suffering comes from frequent Communions. So approach this fountain of mercy often, to draw with the vessel of trust whatever you need.
Soul: Thank You, Lord, for Your goodness in remaining with us in this exile as the God of mercy and blessing us with the radiance of Your compassion and goodness. It is through the light of Your mercy that I have come to understand how much You love me.
**Conversation of the Merciful God with a Soul Striving after Perfection. **
Jesus: I am pleased with your efforts, O soul aspiring for perfection, but why do I see you so often sad and depressed? Tell Me, My child, what is the meaning of this sadness, and what is its cause?
Soul: Lord, the reason for my sadness is that, in spite of my sincere resolutions, I fall again into the same faults. I make resolutions in the morning, but in the evening I see how much I have departed from them.
Jesus: You see what you are of yourself. The cause of your falls is that you rely too much upon yourself and too little on Me. But let this not sadden you so much. You are dealing with the God of mercy, which your misery cannot exhaust. Remember, I did not allot only a certain number of pardons.
Soul: Yes, I know all that but the great temptations assail me, and various doubts waken within me and moreover, everything irritates and discourages me.
Jesus: My child, know that the greatest obstacles to holiness are discouragement and an exaggerated anxiety. These will deprive you of the ability to practice virtue. All temptations united together ought not disturb your interior peace, not even momentarily. Sensitiveness and discouragement are fruits of self love. You should not become discouraged, but strive to make My love reign in place of your self love. Have confidence, My child. Do not lose heart in coming for pardon, for I am always ready to forgive you. As often as you beg for it, you glorify My mercy.
Soul: I understand what is the better thing to do, what pleases You more, but I encounter great obstacles in acting on this understanding.
Jesus: My child, life on earth is a struggle indeed; a great struggle for My kingdom. But fear not, because you are not alone. I am always supporting you, so lean on Me as you struggle, fearing nothing. Take the vessel of trust and draw from the fountain of life - for yourself, but also for other souls, especially such as are distrustful of My goodness.
Soul: O Lord, I feel my heart being filled with Your love and the rays of Your mercy and love piercing my soul. I go, Lord, at Your command. I go to conquer souls. Sustained by Your grace, I am ready to follow You Lord, not only to Tabor, but also to Calvary. I desire to lead souls to the fount of Your mercy so that the splendor of Your mercy may be reflected in all souls, and the home of our Father be filled to overflowing. And when the enemy begins to attack me, I shall take refuge behind the shield of Your mercy.