So i was wondering, my girlfriends like o i dont know if its wrong or not, so idk if you should do it,
i mean i put my arm around her usually, but that get tiring, and it looks really cute when i have my arm around her waist, and also were closer, i dont see how it could be wrong, like when people slow dance, they put theyre arm around their partners waist as well, my parents used to do it, and i see alot of catholic couples doing it
I believe it would only be sinful if it stirs arousal in either one of you and you continue for that purpose. But, on the other hand, I would just have to say that you need to cherish your girlfriend for having such high moral values. She may not want to share that it is stirring things in her and you need to respect that. Slow dancing is not always as benign as some would hope. So it is really a personal decision based on the feelings stirred in either one of you. And this may also be a good start for you to show your respect for the lady who might one day be your wife even if you think there is nothing wrong with it. She may think so for personal reasons. God bless you! teachccd
It is not a sin in and of itself. The thoughts you may entertain because of it might be sins, but not the action itself. This is something that only you can decide. If you do it without any bad thoughts, then I think it is fine. If your girlfriend doesn’t like it, respect that, but let her know how you feel about it, especially if your conscience is clear.
From your last sentence it sounds like your girlfriend does not want you to put your hands on certain parts of her body. Why not respect her wishes and stop making her uncomfortable? And don’t blame her for feeling that way by dismissing it as minor scruples.
So she wants something, and that something could be sinful in her mind, and therefore she may have reservations to doing it. Have you ever read Ephesians 5? Lay down your life for your woman, while maybe not buying into the theology that would regard it sinful, perhaps you could realize that in her mind it is not innocent but rather causes her to think less than Holy thoughts about you and your relationship with her. At 19 and 20 it can be quite normal to do as you suggest, but each relationship is different. Your desire should be to make her as comfortable as possible, and that may mean not doing things she may not be comfortable with, no matter the fickleness of the hangup.
As someone who has been married for 12 years I can tell you that a certain recipe for failure is to try to persuade a woman to be “ok” with something her conscience may be telling her no on.
Have you had a rational, logical and theological discussion with her on the matter? What does she say?
No, it is not sinful - on the assumption that you’re not fondling intimate parts of her body when you shouldn’t be.
But what I would suggest you think on is whether she is the right girl for you. Is she perhaps going you subtle signals that she doesn’t want to get intimate with you? I know that there are limits to how far you’re ‘allowed’ to take intimacy outside marriage, but if you’re considering that this girl is potentially a life partner, ask yourself if she would be as open to intimacy as you would wish and whether you might find yourself wanting more than she can give. Would she be more restrained than you would wish even if the situation with your relationship were to allow greater freedom?
If it is just case of minor scruples, then fine. Just be sure you’re not going to accidentally find yourself being unhappy in the future.
Is it a sin? It might depend on the context. Is it appropriate? It depends on the context…but…IMO, it’s a PDA that just seems not appropriate. If the two of you are walking on a quiet beach, alone together, it’s o.k. If the two of you are walking through a shopping mall, I think it’s not appropriate. But that’s my own opinion, based on my own feelings of what I don’t mind seeing and what I don’t want to see.
I think you should respect your girlfriend’s boundaries and comfort zones, whether or not they seem scrupulous or unreasonable.
When my wife and I were courting I was constantly ignoring this basic rule. I wish I hadn’t. I wish I had listened to her words. She’s always been smarter than me.
Is the act technically sinful? I am not the Judge, but if she says no and you insist, well, that sounds sinful to me. Venial for sure, not mortal, but still. If she consents and you do it, when you wrap yourself around her body in close proximity, you are playing with fire.
If she wants you to but doesn’t want you to, that means she has desire that she doesn’t want to act upon. As your boyfriend, you can choose to take advantage of her mixed feelings for your own selfish desire (the low road) or you can choose to protect her against her uncertainty until she feels safe with you (the high road).
If she says no, and you pressure her to do it, you are establishing a basic disregard for her physical/emotional/spiritual wellbeing. Be careful what message you send when you insist on touching her body in the area immediately adjacent to her butt and then your arms get “tired.”