I have a situation where there is someone in my life that I’m related to that is very quick to be…um…critical.
Ok, I’ll fess up, it’s my mother. She has a critical opinion about everything and everyone especially in-laws.
Now granted, most of her observations have more than a hint of truth to them but she is blunt and loud about them at inappropriate times. Also, she has a looooooooong memory.
On to the juicy stuff:
She has two older daughters (my sisters) who’ve married specific types of guys that even get on my nerves and even can badly effect my life once and awhile…not to mention my mother’s life [money concerns, working relationships, etc…]. My mother is fiercely protective of her daughters and will be vocal in the criticism of their husbands personality and actions.
Obviously, my sister’s are adults and she needs to keep her opinions to herself unless asked, but that is not the situation that we live with.
So now it’s my turn to get married. . I give her no ammunition to criticize my cutiepie, and neither does he.
But I also take it a step further, I will complain to her about events that will show him in a good light and myself in a bad light.
Yup, it’s silly and should not be necessary. But I know my mom. I need this for ‘insurance’ for the future.
At this point she trusts and appreciates him and will continue to do so if I never bring up anything that would ever put him close to a bad light in her eyes.
Ok, my question is: I know what I’m doing. I’m delibrately having a conversation in which I’m close to manipulating her opinion of him. Is that considered a lie? Ommission of truth perhaps? Although I know she should not be privvy to any personal relationship issues.
Yes, I know this situation is wierd and convoluted and the obvious answer is to not ‘play’ a game. At the same time, I know I will have a long relationship with my mother as will my future husband. I want to avoid the speedbumps that my sisters’ didn’t.
Not to mention, I’m her youngest daughter and she is having a tough time ‘letting go’.
:shrug: :shrug: :shrug: :shrug: