Is sex ok if u intend to marry the person?


#1

Im really confused on the matter


#2

Pre-marital sex is wrong whether you intend to marry the person or not.

It may not be as grave as prostitution but it is still a grave matter.


#3

‘Pre-martial sex’? As in, having sex before going off to war? :eek:

(Sorry… couldn’t resist that one… :wink: )

In any case, Luigi is right: pre-marital sex is what the Bible calls ‘fornication’, and it’s a grave sin. We would never think to say “Is it OK to rob a bank… if I plan on giving the money back eventually?” or “Is it OK to lie, as long as I intend to apologize later?”… but, for some reason, in our culture, we are prone to think “Oh, it’s OK to have pre-marital sex, as long as we ‘love’ each other and are thinking about marriage…” :sad_yes:


#4

It is a mortal sin and would be contrary to the love of that person.

2353 Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children…

scborromeo.org/ccc/ccc_toc.htm


#5

Put it this way: Would it be considered “pre-marital” sex if you had no intention of getting married? :stuck_out_tongue:


#6

Assuming our OP is male, why would you want to bring that sin to someone you love? Honor her! If you love her, you will wait.

I always wonder about this: why would (aside from just the physical aspects) someone want, as the mother of his children, a woman who, one might say willy-nilly, agrees to sin in this manner?


#7

No.


#8

I’m not sure “polishprincess” is male, but if so, this may add another dimension to their question.


#9

No, but these days many, many Catholics ignore what the Church says regarding this…


#10

Meltzer, you are probably right - I saw “polishprinCE.”

So, if our OP is a woman, she should be working even harder (double standard, I know) to preserve that precious flower for the man she marries, AFTER the wedding.


#11

No, it’s not ok


#12

No confusion. The Church is quite clear. How exactly are you confused. Sex is for the married. Always has been.:shrug:


#13

If intent to marry was sufficient, there wouldn’t be much need for the actual wedding. :wink:

Our marriage vows mean something. They mark a definitive start to a lifelong commitment. Outside of that context, sex is not moral.

I would say it’s more understandable to commit the sin with the person you are preparing to begin a life with together rather than with someone you just met. But it is still a sin.

Think of it this way, what other moment in time would serve as the definitive moment where sex is permissible? One week before the wedding? Two weeks? Engagement? (But then what of those who break off engagements?) Any other point in time would be arbitrary and undercut the meaning of what it means to be married.


#14

In the moment that you are having sex, if that person is not your spouse, then no, it is not okay. It doesn’t matter if you’ll probably get married or are engaged or are getting married that afternoon. You are not married to that person yet.


#15

God designed sex to happen after a couple come before their friends and family and God and commit their lives to one another. The reason is that a) God made sex to be the super glue that holds marriages together during difficult times and b) sex makes babies, and babies deserve to have both a mother and father in their care and upbringing.

There are LOTS of young ladies living below the poverty line because they had sex with their boyfriend who said loved them, then abandoned them when a pregnancy happened. There are millions of babies destroyed by abortion because the women ‘weren’t ready’ to have a baby.

Waiting until you’re married allows you to look at the person and discern if they should be your life partner. It’s a time to be chaste and sober. Having sex engages the hormones and it becomes very difficult to think straight. Many marriages fall apart because the partner thinks later on ‘what was I thinking??’ They weren’t thinking. There were red flags about their partner that they didn’t mind over looking at the time because they were having sex and life was great. Looking at the character of the person became cloudy instead of clear.

You’ve gotten some good Catholic answers. My last reply is that boyfriends have said to their girlfriend ‘we’re going to get married anyway’ and leave when there’s a pregnancy. Don’t fall for it. Love waits, and love isn’t so selfish to put the risk of pregnancy for a few minutes of pleasure. You take on the risk, with no commitment from him. Wait until a man says, before family, friends, and God, that he will be your life partner. That man is worth waiting for.


#16

By definition, people who are having sex prior to marriage are already demonstrating their capability and willingness to have sex outside of marriage.

In a marriage, the physical joining of husband and wife is the sign and the symbol of union between the two. If there is no union - no lifelong commitment - then the sign of union should not take place. Which means sex outside of marriage is a lie - you are saying with your bodies that a union exists, that a commitment has been made, when no such union actually exists.


#17

What’s so tough about waiting?


#18

It is not permitted. In the past, the rule was: No sexual intercourse until marriage. PERIOD.

I understand that the media has sexualized almost everything, but Church teaching is our guide for our good.

Believe me, I’ve been there.

God bless,
Ed


#19

i’m a female:)


#20

I’m Polish.

Ed:)


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