Is strong hatred a mortal sin?

I have faced abuse and mistreatment my whole life; I was abused when I was younger. I was also mistreated by a lot of people because I have a disability.

As a result, I can’t trust people and I generally have a discontempt of others.

I have been building this hatred my entire life, and it came to a point where I am starting to hate every individual I meet.

Does this put me in a state of mortal sin?

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Although a priest would be a better person to bounce this question off, let me give it a shot…

Are you dealing with “dislike”, or “hate”?

We dislike the people who are mean to us, or who trigger memories of our wounds.

Hate is more along the lines of “I wish this person would drop dead and go to hell for all eternity”

In either case, you need to confront your anger, both righteous and toxic, and learn to manage it.

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I wouldn’t want anyone to go to hell. That’s up to God to decide, not me.

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I would say no, on account of your history of abuse and mistreatment. However, your hatred or strong dislike may be doing harm to your spiritual well-being and progress. Please talk to a priest and seek counseling. It may be possible to improve your circumstances and to have more peace in your heart.

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To be disinclined to be friendly with people is a vice, but it is not necessarily grave… As long as you are willing their good “overall” (especially their salvation) and are not wishing some specific harm, you would likely be escaping mortal sin.

However, it is something to work on, perhaps with counseling - and also always remember that Christ was (and is!) abused and mistreated… a position which put Him in a much better place to show love.

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I want to love, but my past experiences tell me otherwise. I’m working on these feelings.

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If you want to love, then your will is in the right place. We cannot always control how our emotions are, especially when there are deep subconscious associations that change our intuition about people/situations/etc… so you may need to be a bit more patient with yourself.

It’s certainly true that people are often very cruel - though likely not as often as you might think - but the invitation is there from the Lord to love as He loves, from the Cross, desiring all good things for those who mistreated Him. When we love with Him, like Him, and on account of Him, we’ve “got it.” That is a call to perfection - it is a long road to get there - but it’s where true freedom is.

You might consider going to talk with someone in person, especially your parish priest.

God bless you,
-K

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Anger is a feeling arising from perceived injustice. It sounds like you’ve been treated very poorly and a right to feel angry. Why would that be sinful? I think the sin would be if you went around mistreating people on account of those feelings.

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That’s a strong dislike then.

Have to be careful with those negative emotions, especially if they’re persistent and sometimes directed at people you’ve just met. It’s not fair to blame someone for something someone else did.

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I think we all struggle to one degree or another not to hate, or at least really dislike, some people. I, sadly, have a long memory and after years and years still sometimes brood about injuries done to me. I’m just assuming most if not all humans have the same struggle. The key is to learn to continually beg God for the grace to heal our hearts. He is the only one that can do it. Hate hurts the hater much more than the person who offended, and I think we can all recognize that it eats us up inside and makes our hearts colder. I’ve heard it said the the minute you start to entertain hate for a person in your heart, the devil finds a foothold. So the saints caution to be very careful in immediately turning such thoughts to God and praying sincerely for the person’s good. Difficult, yes, and you may find yourself doing it many times a day, but God is faithful and He WILL slowly heal your heart. Meanwhile, each of these struggles and prayers will gain heavenly merit for you. So be encouraged! Life is a struggle, but as St. Paul says put on the armor of faith and fight the good fight.

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Feelings can not be mortal sins, because by their nature we can’t control what we feel. Don’t ever let anyone say that you’ll go to Hell over a feeling.

Having said that, feelings can lead to wrong actions if not processed in a healthy manner. Talk to a therapist and to your priest to explain what you’re feeling, so that way you don’t end up doing something sinful.

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God knows of your trauma; He’s collecting your tears (and mine) in a bottle.

Early childhood trauma doesn’t just mess with your mind (thoughts) and heart (feelings)–trauma gets embedded neurologically in the physical brain. Find a counsellor who specialises in trauma. There are particular therapies, which I won’t state here because of TOS, that are extremely beneficial in trauma therapy and a good trauma therapist will know exactly what these are and find the best course of treatment for your specific symptoms.

Given your history, it is perfectly understandable that you are always guarded and poised to fend off an attack. These aren’t always behavioural choices you’re making on a moral level–our experiences, especially trauma, rewire our brains. This is why therapy is critical because a good therapist can help you ‘unwire’ damage.

I’m so very sorry for all you’ve gone through and I wish you well. **

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Absolutely not after what you have gone through most people would feel that way - the problem is caring that hate inside you - forgiving them can remove it but I imagine that is hard to do - that’s what you really need to work on. I once heard a saying that if you pray for your enemy long enough the resentment will lift. You have every right to feel cautious but not everyone is your enemy - i hope you work it out

healing can only come through forgiveness

No, But I think there is more to it than youre saying.

Your hate is like a open wound - you have been hurt - it can effect how you treat others. Your enemy wins along as you are wounded - forgive them - you don’t have to like them trust them go near them or ever have anything to do with them again and you can move on.

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Thank you for your responses.

I’m working on these feelings and I hope I can resolve them. In my heart, I have already forgiven the abusers.

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As a previous poster said you carry around with you open wounds.

Pray to God for healing. It is important that you heal otherwise you can get preyed upon by sociopaths who are out there.

Like sharks, they can smell blood and vulnerability.

Carrying around anger with you will lead you to think of yourself as a perpetual victim. It can weaken you.

If you have such a thorny path, then a crown awaits you in the Heaven :crown:
By the power of the Lord, (not by your power) you can achieve victories in your life.
The Christian formula is an imitation to Christ himself.
You need to ask yourself for each case, how would Christ act in this or that case.
That is, you need to learn to nail your passions to the cross every day, and learn daily from Christ.

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According to modern psychology you are wrong. In fact, forcing oneself to “forgive” when one isn’t ready to can actually be more emotionally damaging in the long run. It’s more important that one feels their feelings and is honest with oneself. Negative emotions fill the same role in the human mind that a fire alarm fills in a building; nobody likes a blaring sound but people like getting burned even less.

Moreover the Bible has numerous instances of God treating His enemies in very unforgiving ways. In the Old Testament God orders His followers to annihilate sinful people-groups, and in the New Testament God causes a King to die in pain for accepting idolatrous worship.

Anyway, too often I see “forgiveness” used as a weapon to attack and shame victims and/or to absolve the original wrongdoer of any blame.

I would recommend thinking about the Passion of Christ. You’ll find the answer there.

Take a good look at a realistic Crucifix. Now remember what Christ said and did and did not do in regard to His abusers. Bear in mind He is God so He could have done anything.

Edit - next step would be understanding the difference between anger and hatred and find outwhich one is burning inside you.

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