DH and I were married July of 08. Since then we have had one heck of a roller coaster marriage. We were separated twice before our first year of marriage was over. As a matter of fact we spent our one year anniversary in different states.
After he came back I immediately got pregnant. Sadly it ended in a terrible miscarriage. I suffered (and probably still do) PPD. It’s been un-medicated. On top of that my female hormones were… lacking. Well… because of all this I wasn’t the best wife.
I have let so much get to me. I was a very violent person. Throwing things, hitting, kicking, yelling, calling names. I would even do it in public. I know that it was wrong, and that yes, it is abuse. I’m trying like heck to change. I’m in counseling, and i’m on medication.
Recently DH and I got into an altercation. He didn’t want me to leave, but i was bound and determined. I ended up re injuring my wrist. I went to the Dr and they called the police. Now DH is being charged with false imprisonment.
I didn’t want this. And DH obviously didn’t either.
All I really want is to come home. I am really truly sorry for what I did. I know there is no way to go back and erase what happened but believe me, if given the chance I would. DH has been tolerant of me being at home when I am there. For the most part however, he is very angry and resentful.
He told me last night that he is unhappy, and depressed. However he refuses to get help. He said I deserve someone who treats me better. :eek: Shouldn’t I be the one saying that to him? He also told me that my relationship with a former ex was better then what we have. And to some degree he is right. We never got physical with each other. However, obviously it wasn’t meant to be because… HELLO I MARRIED DH!!!
I really don’t want a divorce. We are in marriage counseling, sort of. We haven’t gone yet. Our first appointment is next week. DH was talking about seeing if our marriage was even valid. Whenever I tell him that I don’t care how long it takes to get things situated, I married him “to death do us part” not “till whenever do us part” He popped off with the comment of “i’m not catholic so that doesn’t pertain to me” It of course doesn’t help that the only person around us that is telling him to stick with it and work things out is our neighbor and my personal friend of 12 years.
I’m honestly not sure if i’m asking for prayers, or advice. Prayers would be greatly appreciated. But I honestly don’t know what to do. Do I give up? Do I stick with it? Is there hope?