I’ve been out of school for about 2 years.No college plans, no job. I apply and apply and nothing.I’m not the smartest kid. I have no amazing talent. I have absolutely NO IDEA, NOT ONE BIT of what to college for, or to even waste my time and go!! I always hear adults saying it’s worth it and how it helped them, all my former peers set on what they wanted to do since they were children, Doctors, Nurses, Journalists, Business people…and then, there’s me. I don’t know what to do! I have no one to reach out to, I would be the first person in my family to go to college, and I am the second eldest of 5 girls, My parents did not go so they can’t help me with my questions, they are citizens of the US but not originally from here, my eldest sister is working, she went straight to work, I have no friends to turn to, no teachers,no one. I have God, but I’m seriously such a chimp I can’t understand if he is trying to tell me something! It’s driving me crazy!! I have anxiety problems, I over think things wayyyy tooo much and that leads me to be sooo angry, and snap at everyone over anything. I can’t drive well and don’t have my license, the college I want to go to is not too far but the city bus does not get there. There are just too many obstacles, I, I am just so confused.:crying:
And with this attitude I KNOW I won’t get far. I just, can’t help it. I have been thinking of going for Communications, because I feel the road is wider with that degree and it will be very useful. I am just so scared of even applying, I have anxiety so all the stress is magnified. I refuse to take medication because that will only get me hooked, even the Doctor said. If you have the patience and you somewhat know about this mess i just wrote or relate, please help me out.
I can’t stop beating myself up, i go through so much feelings of worthless ness daily. I felt terrible when my mom paid 60 bucks for my asthma medication yesterday. Im 19!!! I should be helping them!!! There is a college expo today in a couple of hours, I might be able to go. Did you go to college? How did you pay for it? Was it worth it?? I live with the fear of the world ending soon and all this being completely worthless. I am a mess