Is There Getting To Be a "Cool Factor" To Being Gay - Especially Among the Young?

A huge can of worms to open, I realize. But I am so curious and would like feedback.

It seems that with all the celebrities “coming out” very openly, and the GLBT support groups on high school and college campuses, there could be kids who are prematurely ID’ing as “gay” when it’s normal to occasionally have a passing same-sex attraction. Then they might start feeding this attraction and it would grow.

I’m not negating in any way that there are those who have felt SSA from early ages, nor failing to acknowledge that bullying of anyone is just plain wrong. So these advocacy groups and the celebrities in one way are doing at least a little good even if their members’ and sympathizers’ choices are objectively immoral. But some children are getting indoctrinated to be really pro-GLBT when they are too young to consider the moral implications.

Think “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” - there is sort of a cool factor - I know stereotyping is not a great thing, but gay men seem to have that aesthetic sense in a higher proportion than do straight men. And sometimes gay men are great friends for single women.

I’m not sure exactly where I’m going with this. Maybe that it’s sad that people with non-heterosexual orientations may have unique gifts to offer everyone, and that those are getting lost in the militant way many are attempting to force the no-holds-barred political agendas of recent years? :shrug: Which seems to put up a barrier where one didn’t exist before. I realize this is all very thorny stuff…confusing…a veritable minefield :hmmm:

Not at all. On the whole, there is still a very negative social stigma and it’s hard for people to deal with.

But don’t some of the well-known and very openly gay public figures seem to be popular partly because of their gayness? Or at least because it’s PC to be “supportive”?

o, there is no such a social dynamic. But for some people there are snakes under every rock and predators around every circle so. . . . . I guess this type of mentality must make life more exciting in a way. :shrug:

Generally, I would say the bulk of the reactions are still on the negative side, but the circles where reactions are positive are getting larger.

That’s a good way of putting in a few words what it took me many words to say! :thumbsup:

Lol, no prob.

In my experience in the adult world of urban professionals, the cool factor largely comes from straights. It feels like it’s about tokenism. The “oh cool, maybe I can make another gay friend” thing. Gay adults typically have enough gay friends that they usually don’t care if you’re straight or gay.


I am seeing signs among the majority of my young generation that this may be the case within the next few years.

We’ve been witnessing this with our son for years. It’s not just promoted by his friends (straight & gay alike) but by teachers and now professors. We’ve dealt with the accusations that we’re prejudiced because we tell him that SSA doesn’t make you “cool,” and we’ve had to complain about a religion teacher at a Catholic high school telling the class that, from a Catholic perspective, the Church now teaches that SSA is A-okay as long as you’re truly in love and committed to one person. It makes teaching Christian love & acceptance and the morality of homosexuality a real minefield, mainly because the one lends credence the coolness claims, while the other (in his mind) bolstered the “Mom & Dad are hateful bigots” claims.

I think it’s more of a rebel, in your face factor.

It might be time to bust out the CCC.

It’s growing. I’ve heard elderly, conservative life-long Republicans say, ‘Well, I guess it’s okay…’

And among the youth, it’s spreading fast. More and more grow up never hearing that it’s even possibly wrong to give in to temptation.

Great can of worms, 3Doctors. Thank you.

P.S. You going to change your name in October?

More of a cool factor to declare you are “bi,” for girls. I don’t think guys think it’s cool to be gay. The young gay males I see do tend to be quite “out” and campy - if they are out as gay, they are more the stereotypical “queen” type.

Yes, that is true there is definitely a ‘cool factor’ to bisexuality in teenage girls. In my experience it was often in conjunction with the practice of Wicca. Both were nearly all the time phases that they grew out of, it was a rebelling thing.

Actually, I don’t see as much rebelling attitude, because of the inherent “cool” factor. It’s accepted in the high school crowd and college crowd. It’s seen as very exciting, something different, a little edgy. Not rebelling, but more “fashion forward.”

I think there is the media portrayal–which has a certain cool factor.

More gay and lesbian communites are in urban areas, and there is a certain ‘sophistication’ that seems to come with living an urban lifestyle, regardless of sexual attraction.

And there is the gritty day to day that is anything but tv, so…?

So are we talking media portrayal, the community as a whole, or individuals dealing with same sex attractions?

I think gay people do honestly face a lot of torment, though less than they used to because they have more sympathy and defenders than they used to. There is a growing acceptance of homosexual behavior and a growing trend to believe an either/or fallacy. Either you are a bigot who torments and bullies homosexuals or you see homosexual activities as perfectly legitimate behavior that is simply a part of the diversity of the human race. As such, to contradict the either/or fallacy, we have to work to show total love and acceptance of homosexuals while standing up for our belief that homosexual acts are immoral.

Are you sure it was just a ‘cool’ factor for girls because I know a group of dudes who think there’s another factor involved that would be bit more… disgusting.

I think some of the guys here know what I’m talking about. You’re connecting it to Wicca? I connect it to something a little bit more depraved than a tree-hugging religion. :dts:

We’ve been through all that and it hasn’t made things much easier. Several of his friends have been very anti-Catholic so they keep telling him that either we’re wrong, the Church is wrong or we’re both wrong, no matter what we’re telling him. The fact that he’s had teachers (including Catholic school teachers) and now professors telling him the opposite of what we say, and then that anyone who has differing views is prejudiced and wrong, doesn’t make it easier. He has a better understanding now than a few years ago, but he still leans too far toward the secular view on this.

Regarding the way bisexuality is being promoted toward teenage girls and young women now, I don’t think it has anything to do with Wicca and everything to do with promoting immoral, oversexualized attitudes. Not to mention the fact that you’ve got tons of guys out there now telling girls it’s not wrong, that they need to do it to show him they love him, etc. I know several girls/women who have had bisexual experiences to varying degrees and each time was either for shock value, to turn a guy (or guys) on, or because their boyfriend/spouse told them to do it to prove how much they cared about him. Despite how it’s portrayed in the media, each one I know felt demeaned and violated afterward.

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