Is this a mortal sin for me?

Im 16 I have been masturbating for around 3 years and Im trying to stop (have been for 2 years) but its so hard to. faculty.plts.edu/gpence/PS2010/html/new_catholic_encyclopedia_masturbation.htm
on that website it states:

First Paragraph: Because of the intense sensual pleasure and the strong drive of the sexual instinct, youths often become involved in a habit of seeking their pleasure before they realize its nature and its sinfulness. When they do realize its malice, the force of habit may already have become strong enough to lead to performance of actions without full deliberation.

Second Paragraph: At times, repressed conflicts of various kinds trigger a compulsive form of masturbation, so that, while aware of what he is doing, a person may be more or less irresistibly impelled to masturbate. If the impulse is truly irresistible, there is no moral fault; and in any case of truly neurotic compulsion serious fault is rare,

That first paragraph is pretty much what happened to me I have been to confession several times about it but as you can see in the second paragraph it says if it is irresistible and that is what it feels like to me I get like 5 erections a day and that only after school, so can I do it? (if i do it would be without porn or thinking impure thoughts)

Also would I be able to receive communion on sunday? and would i have to confess it?

Hi,

I certainly do not doubt the intensity with which your hormones are affecting you at this time in your life. However, if you knew that you were going to die tomorrow, they would somehow lose much, if not all, of their punch–at least, temporarily. Their power is definitely not absolute—as some would have us think.

If I were to agree totally with that first paragraph assessment, it would be all the easier for you to continue this habit and far, far more difficult for you to stop. I suspect that you are somewhat suspicious of what you read or you would not be writing us here. I do recognize the force of habit. I also know that bad habits can only be eliminated by being replaced with good habits.

My advice to you is to go to Confession before receiving Holy Communion if you have fallen in this way. While you may not be morally culpable for every time you fall, it is important that you not make it easier for you to act as if you haven’t fallen. You need to know for sure that you are in the state of grace when you receive Our Blessed Lord. Such concern for Him is most pleasing to Him. Your focus needs to be on pleasing Him, rather than on getting control of yourself. This is what you need to shoot for. It is why He allows us to have such weaknesses; that we end up loving Him more than we would have if we had not been weak.

You are in my prayers. And remember; this matter is ALL about Him, even though it feels like it is all about you.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

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