I have OCD tendencies, and because of these I ended up on a pornographic website, not to see pornography, but to check to make sure a certain person wasn’t in any of the pictures (this “checking” is one of my compulsions). I am a heterosexual female, and the pornographic images were all of women, so I can 100% guarantee that I was not having any lustful thoughts while I saw these images. Anyway, I only spent a total of about 10 seconds on the website because I just couldn’t take it. Do you think this was a mortal sin?
This is something you should bring up with your confessor and you should not be messing around with ANY pornographic website, for ANY reason. You also need to seek professional help for your OCD; you don’t have to live with it for the rest of your life.
Thanks for the reply. I take medication for my OCD, but I guess it can’t keep all of the thoughts away.
Based on your description, your choice was not a mortal sin. However, it was the wrong choice to make.
Seek professional help, sure. But Catholics should never consider professional help to be sufficient. We all need grace, and grace is best obtained by prayer, self-denial, works of mercy, and the Sacraments. If there is a moral component to any problem, then seek help also from the Church, the field hospital of mercy.
Don’t stress, it sounds like you are committed to doing what is right, and a priest will help you! Discuss the matter with a Priest and be very honest with him, he will help you sort out the moral consequences. Intentionally looking at pornographic images is a grave sin, which is one component of mortal sin, but a priest would be best able to help you sort out the other components. It seems you were not guilty of lustful thoughts, but intentionally viewing pornography is a separate sin.
Also, splash some holy water around the rooms where you viewed the pornography. It’s so demonic, so many otherwise good people are trapped by pornography.
Perhaps Internet access should be eliminated.
You need mental health care for your OCD and spiritual direction for your associated scrupulosity. I cannot stress this enough. GET HELP from a professional. This is not going to go away and you cannot get your help from random question on the internet. You need continuous care.
Compulsions are not sins, they are a sign you need professional help. I see you take medicine for the OCD. You need to report your compulsive thoughts to your therapist, not to strangers on the internet.
Please get help.