I started a new part-time job and I’m assisting my boss , who is the same nationality as me. We are both very comfortable with eachother and I like the job so far or at least I like what I’m going to be doing. However, my issue is … He is married with 3 young children, and I kind of feel attracted to him. I think it might be just the fact that I really like his personality and he’s very nice and cool. He also is cute. I am single and having a hard time meeting guys because I don’t have many friends to go out wih, and the people I do have barely want to go out. I’m feeling very lonely, and maybe this is why I’m a attracted to him. I don’t know. But I find myself thinking of him , and I don want to. Is this a mortal sin??? Please help me
Why not join a social group? Find one in your area or go to meetup.com
Just don’t ACT on your attractions. You’re playing with fire. Each time you daydream of him…picture in your mind his young family. AND HIS WIFE.
Try to create some professional distance. And as the previous poster said…get out more yourself.
No there is no sin here. To have attraction with someone is quite normal. Since you have said you are single and lonely and I do not know if you are interested in a long term relationship such as marriage I will advise you if you are interested in marriage. Whenever someone is lonely we can get feelings that are like those which you have stated in your post. The problem with a lot of marriages today stems from the fact we are not properly prepared for it. We think we are when most of the time we are not. I had known of a girl who I had advised not to be searching for anyone until she finds her own vocation within the work force. She was a single mother but she constantly had many men seeking her. I took her aside once to tell her this was not a good way for her to find a husband.
I knew she was really looking for someone to take care of her son and I told her that was not a good reason for her to find a husband. If anything I told her that she needed to find someone for herself. What about her son she said. I told her whoever will love her will love her son as well. I told her to stop doing this to herself by trying to find a father for her son when she needs to find a husband for herself. I told her why not leave the matter to God. Try not to find him rather allow him to find you. I advised her to continue on with her education, pray to God and this person who will be your husband will introduce himself but not in the same way as these other men portrayed themselves. She listen and she went off to University and College and it as in school where she finally met her husband.
It is to my knowledge that if one is lonely it is a good sign that God has someone special for that person. Try to give your problem to God and allow Him to work it out for you. Give some prayers and time to your request. If it is marriage that you are searching for than I am sure God has already this person chosen for you. The key in discovering this person is to let the matter rest with God. Of course if you are not wanting of marriage for your life than it is still good to find some social gatherings where young people meet and I am sure this can be done at the local Catholic Church where you attend to or if not find a Church where there is one. It is truly a blessing to know people who are at least trying to live the Catholic way and at the same time are wanting to have friendships and relationships with people around the same age or who are still young.
Yes, I definitely am seeking to find someone for marriage. Your response made me feel better, and I know I need to be patient and I have been better by not talking to guys who I know I wouldn’t marry like i used to do in the past. Even though I’m lonely I want to be as patient as I can, but I don’t want attractions towards men who are married. I’ve never felt like that before about a married man , and i already struggle with thoughts … Not necessarily sexual thoughts. I don’t want to quit either but if thinking or being attracted to him is wrong than i might have to.
It’s not a sin if you are attracted to a married man.
But leave Christianity aside, it’s not good idea to date a married man.
Put yourself in the position of it’s wife, do you be able to accept it ?
Plus I am a men, and trust me. A men who is able to cheat once., he is able to cheat a lot.
No one on earth can control attraction, but you can control you actions.