Is this an accurate formation in accordance with catholic teaching?

please tell me if this sounds reasonable in the framework of catholic teaching. I’m simply trying to learn and form my conscience, without being either too scrupulous or too lax.

this has to do with responsibility for their sins of others. I wouldn’t say we are never responsible, but sometimes it seems like people do a lot of blaming.

like if a child leaves the faith, or chooses an immoral lifestyle, the parents get blamed. if you were rally a good parent, this wouldn’t have happened eTC…

if one spouse commits adultery, the other spouse often gets blamed. you must have been a bad wife if your husband had an affair. he needed to look elsewhere because he couldn’t find what he needed at home etC…

but doesn’t it depend on the situation? yes, perhaps parents and spouses may be culpable in certain circumstances, by condoning or bad example?

but isn’t it possible that the parent or spouse tries to do the best they can, tries to do what they think is right and it still happens?

no one goes in to a vocation perfect, there will be mistakes along the way, sometimes unintentional mistakes have unforeseen consequences.

i just don’t see how someone should always be held culpable by others if they sincerely tried to do their best with what they had at the time even if it turns out that mistakes were made along the way.

i’ll give a classic example. many children of people who immigrate to Canada will leave the church because they find other worldviews that they agree with when they are adults. some of these problems don’t exist back intheir home countries, especially predominantly catholic ones. you may not see such aggressive vocal support from gay activists, or pro-choice groups, for instance. co-habitation mamy not be something that is done either. and often parents come here not prepared to deal with our culture and only realize it when it’s too late and the grown children reject them for being old-fashioned and backwards.

but there always many people who insist that the parent or spouse or whatever person must have done something wrong because if they didn’t, then it wouldn’t have happened. but people change, for better or for worse, don’t they? and it’s not always another person’s fault, is it?

does this sound reasonable? you do the best you can in whatever situation you find yourself but there is no absolute guarantee, is there?

There’s a big difference between what “people” say and truth.
Why do you concern yourself with the negative?
Does the church point fingers? You really think that?
The church helps people heal. We go to Christ for forgiveness when awful stuff happens.
The Church offers tools for prevention and results of sin.
So to answer the question, NO.
The prince of lies loves it when people mess up. He offers no respite. He only gleefully laughs at our mistakes. Stop obsessing.
Spend your time reading the Gospel if you want to learn successful tools to thrive. We can’t peer into the souls of others. Read something instructive instead of questioning every social situation. It won’t help you figure out anything. Your posts are leaning towards the age old: What’s the use? What’s the difference? What’s the rule? What’s the minimum for a Christian?
Not going to elevate you nor satisfy.
Think for yourself. Pray! Read scripture. Contemplate Mercy.
Year of Mercy beginning. Get into it and stop obsessive and negative thinking.

Adult children are adults. They can make their own choices for better or worse. To say it’s someone else’s fault somehow lessens their ability to choose and their culpability. When we go into the confessional, we say “I” have sinned. People can insist that the parent or spouse is to blame but as a Catholic, don’t even go there. Stop the conversation and say, “It’s a sad situation. Let’s stop and pray an Our Father and Hail Mary, that God be present in this situation”.

Agree with pianistclare. I left the faith and then turned away from God. Why? Because my parents, other people and I were, and are fallible. For each negative or blame, there are the quiet blessings, the examples of faith in the every day life. For each tear shed over a lost soul, there are tears of joy over the returning soul and the souls moving closer to God. At the end of the day, we each make choices, often poor choices, but God never abandons us and hope is one of His wonderful gifts to us. We pray faithfully for others (even if we do not know who they are or where they live), confident in God’s mercy and answering our prayers. Whatever a person’s situation is, whether they respond to God is always their free choice. Someone prayed for me, God answered and welcomed me home. So, I keep praying, confident that God answers my prayers and in hope that others will chose to respond to Him.

Any parent or spouse who accepts full responsibility for another’s decisions and/or actions must think he is God.

I take that back. Even God can’t control your decisions and/or actions.

Take it easy!


Angel, you have asked this same question several times recently. The answer remains the same no matter how many times you ask it.

No, what you have posted is NOT Catholic teaching.

which part of the question are you saying no to?

that it may not always be someone’s fault, or that my conclusion is unreasonable?

my conclusion was that parents/spouses are not always responsible for their significant other or their children’s bad decisions

that’s not catholic teaching?

can you please tell me what is then?

That’s your conclusion?
So then, you know the answer.
Then why ask? Why did you ask last time? Obviously you don’t believe it.

How in the world do you think anyone here would say YES, you are responsible for other people’s sins. :hypno:

No matter how many times you ask or how differently you phrase it or how wordy you post.

Very good response.

Somehow, I didn’t get that from your post. That conclusion was lost in a whole lot of text that looked like you were saying the opposite.

I would go farther and say that parents/spouses are infrequently responsible for the bad decisions of loved ones. Sometimes, yes. Many times, no.

The Catholic Church doesn’t HAVE a teaching on parents being responsible for the sins of their children or spouses being responsible for the sins of their spouse.

The Church teaches we are responsible for our own choices and actions. When we CAUSE another to sin, we are responsible for that too.

Angel, you really have to stop this and get spiritual direction. We cannot possibly answer every random question that pops into your head, and especially when it seems to stay there and you ask it repeatedly. This is a sign of a problem that needs attention.

Each person is responsible for his or her own decisions in life, before their properly-formed conscience and the judgment of God. You are not responsible for the choices of other persons, but you are responsible for the influence that you have on other sinners, whether you influence them toward or away from sin.

yes, you are right, I’m sorry. I can see how the post would have been confusing

this probably stems from always wanting to know the answer to everything, in school, from the church, etc…

well, I just meant that you may try your best to influence them away from sin, but they may choose badly anyways despite anything you do

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