please tell me if this sounds reasonable in the framework of catholic teaching. I’m simply trying to learn and form my conscience, without being either too scrupulous or too lax.
this has to do with responsibility for their sins of others. I wouldn’t say we are never responsible, but sometimes it seems like people do a lot of blaming.
like if a child leaves the faith, or chooses an immoral lifestyle, the parents get blamed. if you were rally a good parent, this wouldn’t have happened eTC…
if one spouse commits adultery, the other spouse often gets blamed. you must have been a bad wife if your husband had an affair. he needed to look elsewhere because he couldn’t find what he needed at home etC…
but doesn’t it depend on the situation? yes, perhaps parents and spouses may be culpable in certain circumstances, by condoning or bad example?
but isn’t it possible that the parent or spouse tries to do the best they can, tries to do what they think is right and it still happens?
no one goes in to a vocation perfect, there will be mistakes along the way, sometimes unintentional mistakes have unforeseen consequences.
i just don’t see how someone should always be held culpable by others if they sincerely tried to do their best with what they had at the time even if it turns out that mistakes were made along the way.
i’ll give a classic example. many children of people who immigrate to Canada will leave the church because they find other worldviews that they agree with when they are adults. some of these problems don’t exist back intheir home countries, especially predominantly catholic ones. you may not see such aggressive vocal support from gay activists, or pro-choice groups, for instance. co-habitation mamy not be something that is done either. and often parents come here not prepared to deal with our culture and only realize it when it’s too late and the grown children reject them for being old-fashioned and backwards.
but there always many people who insist that the parent or spouse or whatever person must have done something wrong because if they didn’t, then it wouldn’t have happened. but people change, for better or for worse, don’t they? and it’s not always another person’s fault, is it?
does this sound reasonable? you do the best you can in whatever situation you find yourself but there is no absolute guarantee, is there?