[quote="Cat, post:12, topic:330660"]
What I would say is that you need to try to spend less time fantasizing a relationship, because this isn't a very productive way to spend time. Instead, do something "real" that will lead to real-life relationships (non-sexual of course); e.g., volunteer, or get a job (if you don't have one), or get involved with an activity in your parish (a Bible study?) where you can have Christian friends, or learn to play an instrument (there is a real need for organists in the Church!).
I turned my "fantasies" about a more exciting life into novel-writing! If you have any writing talent at all, consider this. Also, try writing screenplays, or stage plays, or short stories.
And of course, cultivate your relationship with Jesus. Go to Mass as often as you can. Do a Bible study. Pray. Read good Christian writing--you might want to try reading some of the Christian romantic fiction--some of it's really badly-written, but some of it's good. There is lots of Protestant romantic fiction, but not so much Catholic romantic fiction, but this is slowly changing. You can find a lot of Catholic romantic fiction online--a lot of Catholics (and Protestants, too) have given up on the traditional publishing houses, and have taken to forming their own publishing companies and putting out their own novels, often in the form of e-books. There are some who say that these novels are not very good, and maybe those literary types are right and maybe they're not right. The point is--if YOU enjoy them, then they're good!
Another thing you might want to try is telling your husband about your fantasy life. I used to joke with my husband that in my OTHER life, when I wasn't with him, I was with my OTHER husband, and we lived in a fully-restored Victorian house and we rode horses together. He thought this was fun, and it helped him to know how to please me (e.g., take me to lunch at romantic Victorian-type inns, or go on tours of Victorian homes).
You'd think I wouldn't have enough time on my hands to even have this problem, ha, because I have three kids, one is only a 1 yr old, who I homeschool. I also have a volunteer job working with new moms, and I garden and cook from scratch and other such things. It happens during lulls, like when I am rocking the baby to sleep, or driving, or taking a shower... I need to try praying in those situations instead; I just never remember at the time.
And it is funny you mention writing, because when I was a teen, I did write down these fantasy stories. I do love to write. They were always stories about me being married to some celebrity, usually a musician or professional athlete, but also occasionally boys at my school. I suppose it could become productive if I turned them into stories that were not about me, but about other people, although I don't want to create more incentive to dwell on them with myself as the character involved.
I don't know if I should tell my husband - I don't want him to feel like he is inadequate because he doesn't have great self esteem to begin with. Also, the other person in the fantasy is always a real person, either somebody famous or somebody we actually know or have met in real life. Most recently it is a contractor who did some work at our house. I wouldn't feel right telling him, "Hey, I have a crush on so-and-so!"
I do wish I had more options as far as a priest to confess to. Our parish only has a half hour slot before the Saturday vigil to go to confession, and the line is always long, so I don't feel like I can have a discussion at all or ask for advice... our parish priest often begins confession with only 20 minutes to spare before Mass begins. I could make an appointment, I suppose, but maybe I just need to drive to another parish on occasion, where they have more priests or a longer confession time available.