In my extended family lineage, there seems to be a pattern where the mother understands Catholicism, intensely loves her kids, over serves her kids (babies them?) by doing chores for them, then tries to steer and control their lives. There's nothing wrong with trying to steer them into faith formation, but many times this control carries over into other parts of the child's life. As a man, I'm trying to understand if there's a tendency for the mom to become so filled with love and faith (almost godlike?) that she wants so badly for her kids to feel and experience the same, but instead, some kids feel smothered or controlled to the point where they feel that they don't have their own choices, and then they go into some alternative rebellion against what the parents are trying to teach. It seems to me that some of parents are gripping too tightly, or hold on too long, where their desires for their kids to have this intense love and faith have actually scared the kids away from the ususal fall-in-love, get-married, have-kids pattern. The kids seem to want to have a single or alternative lifestyle simply for the sake of convincing the parent that the child is free to make his/her own decisions. It seems that these kids associate the intense parent's plans with the feeling of having no choices (because mom loved the kids, served them, then told them what to do) or life of their own. It seems there should be a balance rather than a do-all-you-can attempt. Does this make sense? Does this seem to be more common in Catholicism? I'm not a mom, so I'll never know, but is there an almost godlike intensity to the combination of deep love and faith for mothers?
For the children who have negatively associated the lack of free will with the intensity of love and Faith, how does one go about retraining the kids to peel these two distinct feelings apart? It seems that if the 2 feelings are always associated with each other, the child will never want to fall in love, get married, have kids, or be a faithful Catholic since it is associated with a lack of free will to live one's life as he chooses. It begs the question: are some people living artificial lifestyles in rebellion just because the parent wanted so badly to control it? How do we separate and liberate the 2, while teaching that it's OK to have Faith and Love and live the Way to a life of intense depth?