I am generally emotionally apathetic. Sometimes in order to feel something, I will be “open to any feeling that comes.” I do this knowing that a demon may give me a feeling. I more often than not will get a feeling, which I feel is coming from a demon and it feels good usually and even when it doesn’t, I prefer it to nothing. I have been told such “feelings” are actually temptations and that its of grave matter to bask in them or be “open” to them. The feelings are accompanied with an urge to be open to the demon giving me a feeling, but usually not a strong one and not one that I give into. I usually do this for only a very short period of time. Would you say it is of grave matter? What about when such feelings come unbidden and I bask in them, or willfully enjoy them; is it of grave matter even then?
Of course, I don’t know what feelings you’re referring to so I don’t know if they are in and of themselves sinful. You should discuss this with a priest.
Deliberately opening yourself to demonic influence is grave matter and you must confess this and discuss the situation with a priest.
I totally agree with Mary Ellen. Not all feelings are evil and that includes many things that are pleasant to feel. What is odd is that you describe yourself as mostly apathetic unless you just allow yourself to feel pleasant feelings–which is very commonly seen in people in the autistic/aspergers spectrum. All I can say is to agree with Mary Ellen’s excellent advice that you speak to a priest and tell him exactly what the feelings are that you allow yourself to take pleasure in. I;d also maybe suggest a good counselor who could evaluate this issue of apathy too.
It wasn’t always this way–this general feeling of apathy. Nothing happened to trigger it; it just happened. Also, sometimes I do get normal feelings and feelings from God, but these are very short lived. Also, sometimes I get feelings from demons without being open to it first.
As to what kind of feelings I get from demons, it’s usually just a feeling of sensing that a demon is present–not in it’s true form, but in a way that feels good. It’s hard to explain, but it’s how Halloween used to make me feel as a kid.
How can you tell if a feeling is from a demon, rather than say “natural”.
Really, I don’t know what to think. The Bible and the Catechism don’t have anything to say about this exactly so I’m not obligated to believe one way or the other unless the Pope says something about this while seated in the Chair of Peter…still, I got such a weird spiritual and physical feeling from doing that last night, that I’m very hesitant to do it again.