Is this ok?


#1

Hi there,
Our church is holding daily Rosary prayers for the whole of October and Benediction on Sundays. When I found out I was really happy, I sadly cannot attend daily Mass as it is in the mornings, only weekend Mass I can go to. S this is really going to be a special time.

Anyhow, I was all set to go but then yesterday, watching Mother Angelica, she was talking about married women failing their husbands by attending too much Church time (May have completely misunderstood as I'm quite ditzy!)

My husband hasn't got a problem with it, though he doesn't want to go. Is it wrong? Feel so silly asking this but it was watching the show that got me questioning!

And also shouldn't God be before my husband and family?

Thankyou x


#2

[quote="velvetsky, post:1, topic:213686"]
Hi there,
Our church is holding daily Rosary prayers for the whole of October and Benediction on Sundays. When I found out I was really happy, I sadly cannot attend daily Mass as it is in the mornings, only weekend Mass I can go to. S this is really going to be a special time.

Anyhow, I was all set to go but then yesterday, watching Mother Angelica, she was talking about married women failing their husbands by attending too much Church time (May have completely misunderstood as I'm quite ditzy!)

My husband hasn't got a problem with it, though he doesn't want to go. Is it wrong? Feel so silly asking this but it was watching the show that got me questioning!

And also shouldn't God be before my husband and family?

Thankyou x

[/quote]

"Failing" their husbands by too much Church time? That's a new one. ;)

If your husband has no problem with it, and you're not neglecting special time with him, or your family, then I see no issue. If anything, wives should encourage their husbands to go to things like this.


#3

[quote="Alexander_Smith, post:2, topic:213686"]
"Failing" their husbands by too much Church time? That's a new one. ;)

If your husband has no problem with it, and you're not neglecting special time with him, or your family, then I see no issue. If anything, wives should encourage their husbands to go to things like this.

[/quote]

Yes, one can fail their husband (or wife, or children, or work) with too much Church time.

1 Cor 7:32-34 An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But a married man is anxious about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and he is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is anxious about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy in both body and spirit. A married woman, on the other hand, is anxious about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

However, I very much like with your second para, and agree with it! Another factor, in favor of this extra Church time, is that it is for a specific, reasonably short period - just the month of October.

To velvetsky (the OP), I would encourage you to attend these extra devotions in October - but keep in mind that it is a personal commitment only, so If anything prevents you from attending, then that's OK.

re: "And also shouldn't God be before my husband and family?...". Yes, but God has given you your marriage and family (with all its limitations and compromises) as your path to Him. Only in the most extreme circumstances (such as your husband trying to "forbid" you from attending mass) should you neglect your husband or family for God.

I hope you find something wonderful in you weekend masses and rosaries, Velvetsky! Our parish will be having extra rosaries in October. We always have rosary before daily mass, but in October we have a special evening rosary, once a week.


#4

[quote="velvetsky, post:1, topic:213686"]
Hi there,
Our church is holding daily Rosary prayers for the whole of October and Benediction on Sundays. When I found out I was really happy, I sadly cannot attend daily Mass as it is in the mornings, only weekend Mass I can go to. S this is really going to be a special time.

Anyhow, I was all set to go but then yesterday, watching Mother Angelica, she was talking about married women failing their husbands by attending too much Church time (May have completely misunderstood as I'm quite ditzy!)

My husband hasn't got a problem with it, though he doesn't want to go. Is it wrong? Feel so silly asking this but it was watching the show that got me questioning!

And also shouldn't God be before my husband and family?

Thankyou x

[/quote]

Why can't you pray the Rosary at home every day? What added benefit do you think you get from going to the Church for this purpose or doing it in a group?


#5

Thanks for the quote. I wasn’t really looking at it properly. :slight_smile:


#6

[quote="velvetsky, post:1, topic:213686"]
Hi there,
Our church is holding daily Rosary prayers for the whole of October and Benediction on Sundays. When I found out I was really happy, I sadly cannot attend daily Mass as it is in the mornings, only weekend Mass I can go to. S this is really going to be a special time.

Anyhow, I was all set to go but then yesterday, watching Mother Angelica, she was talking about married women failing their husbands by attending too much Church time (May have completely misunderstood as I'm quite ditzy!)

My husband hasn't got a problem with it, though he doesn't want to go. Is it wrong? Feel so silly asking this but it was watching the show that got me questioning!

And also shouldn't God be before my husband and family?

Thankyou x

[/quote]

If your husband was angry about your going, or forbade you to go, then there would be reason not to go. But as long as your husband has no problem with it, there is no reason you should not go.

I think Mother Angelica was referring to women being so involved with Church that they regularly fail in, or shortchange, their duties as wives and mothers. (eg. slap dash meals, too busy to clean,...). Another example would be if the wife is interested only in speaking of religious matters and takes no interest in conversing with her husband about things he finds interesting, etc.


#7

[quote="Nita, post:6, topic:213686"]
If your husband was angry about your going, or forbade you to go, then there would be reason not to go. But as long as your husband has no problem with it, there is no reason you should not go.

I think Mother Angelica was referring to women being so involved with Church that they regularly fail in, or shortchange, their duties as wives and mothers. (eg. slap dash meals, too busy to clean,...). Another example would be if the wife is interested only in speaking of religious matters and takes no interest in conversing with her husband about things he finds interesting, etc.

[/quote]

I saw this episode - Mother Angelica was specifically speaking to a woman who was looking at the possibility of getting involved in a group that was going to take much time away from her children and her husband - her husband wanted her to be involved in the group but she felt torn as she did not feel that she would properly be attending her vocation as a wife and mother due to the time out of the house.


#8

[quote="joandarc2008, post:7, topic:213686"]
I saw this episode - Mother Angelica was specifically speaking to a woman who was looking at the possibility of getting involved in a group that was going to take much time away from her children and her husband - her husband wanted her to be involved in the group but she felt torn as she did not feel that she would properly be attending her vocation as a wife and mother due to the time out of the house.

[/quote]

If the woman felt that the time out of her house would keep her from properly attending to her duties as wife and mother, I hope she didn't get involved with the group. Doing our "daily duty" is very important.

Gathering for a rosary however, would not involve a large amount of time -- and, it is only for a month.


#9

Thanks everyone for the helpful replies.

Thistle: yes I do pray the Rosary everyday, and one day a week as a group. I think it can be very special praying as a group in the Church.


#10

[quote="Nita, post:6, topic:213686"]
If your husband was angry about your going, or forbade you to go, then there would be reason not to go. But as long as your husband has no problem with it, there is no reason you should not go.

I think Mother Angelica was referring to women being so involved with Church that they regularly fail in, or shortchange, their duties as wives and mothers. (eg. slap dash meals, too busy to clean,...). Another example would be if the wife is interested only in speaking of religious matters and takes no interest in conversing with her husband about things he finds interesting, etc.

[/quote]

Nita, I'm honestly not understanding this... with you saying if a husband forbade a wife then she shouldn't go. A marriage should be equal, right? Whats more, I'm sorry but Jesus should be above all, shouldn't he?


#11

[quote="joandarc2008, post:7, topic:213686"]
I saw this episode - Mother Angelica was specifically speaking to a woman who was looking at the possibility of getting involved in a group that was going to take much time away from her children and her husband - her husband wanted her to be involved in the group but she felt torn as she did not feel that she would properly be attending her vocation as a wife and mother due to the time out of the house.

[/quote]

Hi Joandarc, the episode I watched was actually about things we are afraid of, but it was when Mother Angelica had the phonecalls that this lady came on, she said she felt God was calling her to do something(She didn't say what it was and Mother didn't ask but she was afraid. Thats when Mother said if it was something drawing her away from her husband, and family then that isn't what God would want. She did give an example of a lady if she were to have lots of churchtime away from her family then thats not good etc.


#12

I think that question comes down to many variables in the marriage - is the husband Catholic, is the husband doing his duty as the spiritual head of the household, is the woman otherwise doing hers in her vocation as a wife and mother, have they tried to talk this out as equals and not been able to reach an agreement.

to go straight to forbidding is wrong


#13

[quote="velvetsky, post:11, topic:213686"]
Hi Joandarc, the episode I watched was actually about things we are afraid of, but it was when Mother Angelica had the phonecalls that this lady came on, she said she felt God was calling her to do something(She didn't say what it was and Mother didn't ask but she was afraid. Thats when Mother said if it was something drawing her away from her husband, and family then that isn't what God would want. She did give an example of a lady if she were to have lots of churchtime away from her family then thats not good etc.

[/quote]

Right - I watched the same episode - and she mentioned if a woman were TO JOIN A GROUP that caused her to spend lot of church time. That is why groups like lay orders/oblates require spouse's permission for married persons to enter. A rosary day does not qualify as LOTS of churchtime. I think part of the problem here is that in our day and age many use the Holy Water Font as a time clock for their once-a-week mass and cannot imagine going more and that is the standard we use for LOTS of church time. God bless.


#14

[quote="velvetsky, post:10, topic:213686"]
Nita, I'm honestly not understanding this... with you saying if a husband forbade a wife then she shouldn't go. A marriage should be equal, right? Whats more, I'm sorry but Jesus should be above all, shouldn't he?

[/quote]

Individuals are equal in value before God. But in the structures of society, not every position has the same authority -- and those levels of authority are not necessarily equal. In Marriage, the husband is to be head of the household, as Jesus is head of the Church. (Eph 5:23) [To get into a discussion of how that authority should be exercised would be a whole new thread.]

I agree, Jesus/God is above all. And that is precisely why we must honor His instructions about obedience. (Just as a wife will have to answer to God for her obedience to her husband, a husband will have to answer for the commands he gave her!) God's law's/commands (given thru Scripture and our Church) are primary. If a husband should order his wife to disobey one of God's commandments or the commandments of the Church, then obedience to God's command first comes into play. (Altho, in such a circumstance it would be wise to consult a priest as to the proper course.)

But the Church does not command us to go to extra devotions. So if a husband ordered his wife not to attend an extra devotion he would not be commanding something contrary to God's revealed will.

If you doubt at all the importance of obedience to the proper authority/s, just do a word search on the word "obedience" in the 4 gospels.

It was reading the lives of various saints that woke me up to how important it is to Jesus that we obey those in a position of authority over us -- and I'm speaking about even mystical events, where Jesus Himself was appearing to someone. For example, if He told the mystic to come to the chapel the next morning where He would speak to her again -- and she went to the Mother Superior to get permission to go there the next morning, but the Mother Superior forbade her to go, so she didn't go. Jesus was pleased that she obeyed the Mother Superior rather than disobeying and going to the chapel as He had requested. In some ways, it's almost a test of whether we will obey or not.

P.S. Have to emphasize again, I'm talking about obedience to commands that are not contrary to God's commandments and those of the Church.


#15

There is such a thing as religious observance becoming a selfish source of personal gratification. One can also give undue priority to one of her duties, at the expense of others.

Having said that, if I start to neglect my spiritual life, my husband notices....and he's not even Catholic! He finds that I'm a lot easier to be around if I give prayer the priority it deserves.

Unless you have communication issues, so that he doesn't tell you what he really thinks but what he thinks he "ought" to say, if your husband is fine with you going, you're fine. If you have those issues, you have to be a little more diligent to ferret out his true feelings, but in the end, he's the best judge of whether you're neglecting him or not!


#16

Hi Nita :slight_smile: Thankyou for explaining this to me, I really didn’t realise:blush: Still learning.


#17

[quote="velvetsky, post:16, topic:213686"]
Hi Nita :) Thankyou for explaining this to me, I really didn't realise:blush: Still learning.

[/quote]

You are doing great, Velvetsky! :D... Attending RCIA, raising questions when you are unsure, honoring your hubby, planning to attend the October rosaries at your church....

And we are all still learning!


#18

Reciting the Rosary aloud, either at the church, or in a prayer group (2 or more people) which can be a family group at home, is special. See below.

catholic.org/prayers/indulgw.php

The Enchiridion of Indulgences

Issued by the Sacred Apostolic Penitentiary, 1968

  • Joseph Cardinal Ferretto,
    Titular Bishop of the Suburban Church
    of Sabina and Poggio Mirteto,

Originally published by Liberia Editrice Vatican,
Vatican City, 1968

This is a digest of the works and prayers listed in the Enchiridion of Indulgences. The Enchiridion recites each indulgenced prayer in full. Because most are recognizable they will only be listed by name. The un- translated Enchiridion lists each work and prayer in alphabetical order by their Latin names. The order shall remain the same in this listing. The descriptions of the works and details regarding obtaining the indulgence will be edited and abreviated in this listing. The following is not represented to be an exact reprint of the Enchiridion but and accurate digest of what constitutes an approved indulgenced work by the Sacred Apostolic Penitentiary.

In all but the plenary indulgence of In Articulo Mortis, at the moment of death, a plenary indulgence mentioned below MUST be accompanied by the three prerequisites of a plenary indulgence.

1.Sacramental Confession,
2.Communion, and
3.Prayer for the intention of the Holy Father, all to be performed within days of each other if not at the same time.
Thus the formula for obtaining a plenary indulgence are the three constants mentioned above plus any one of the variable works mentioned below as being worthy of a plenary indulgence.

48.RECITATION OF THE MARIAN ROSARY. (The following is verbatim.) "A PLENARY INDULGENCE is granted, if the Rosary is recited IN A CHURCH OR PUBLIC ORATORY OR IN A FAMILY GROUP, A RELIGIOUS COMMUNITY OR PIOUS ASSOCIATION; a partial indulgence is granted in other circumstances. "Now the Rosary is a certain formula of prayer, which is made up of fifteen decades of ‘Hail Marys’ with an ‘Our Father’ before each decade, and in which the recitation of each decade is accompanied by pious meditation on a particular mystery of our Redemption. "The name ‘Rosary,’ however, is commonly used in reference to only a third of the fifteen decades. "The gaining of the plenary indulgence is regulated by the following norms: "
A.The recitation of a third part only of the Rosary suffices; but the five decades must be recited continuously. "
B.The vocal recitation MUST be accompanied by pious meditation on the mysteries. "
C.In public recitation the mysteries must be announced in the manner customary in the place; for private recitation, however, it suffices if the vocal recitation is accompanied by meditation on the mysteries. “
D.For those belonging to the Oriental rites, amongst whom this devotion is not practiced, the Patriarchs can determine some other prayers in honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary (for those of the Byzantine rite, for example, the Hymn ‘Akathistos’ or the Office ‘Paraclisis’); to the prayers thus determined are accorded the same indulgences as for the Rosary.”


#19

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