Is this post natal depression?


#1

I am trying to figure out if my friend suffers from post natal depression. I don't know exactly the name but I know some mothers are suffering in the first year after birth.
My friend has never been the most friendly and happy person but lately i am scared about her. She was always negativistic and has communication problems. Everybody is stupid and bad arround her and in work almost nobody liked her. They moved her from department to department. She was complaining how everybody is stupid and she is the only one who knows how to do the job. When her contract expired they let her go because
nobody wanted her anymore. When we went out in the city she was constantly critisizing everybody about the way they looked or dressed. She was never hapy with any place where she lived.I kind of got used to her being like this, even if i didn't agree with it.

When she had the baby i thought that this will change her life but like 6 months after the birth everything started to go even worse. The husband is bad, the child is bad, her life is bad, her parents are bad. The husband should get a better job because it is his responsability to support her and the child. The child is maybe retarted because he doesn't walk and talk yet. She read on the internet that he should start to walk and talk at 9 months. She is sick and tired of the child, he cries all the time. Her life is over.

She doesn't let anybody touch the child and doesn't kiss it. She says that kissing a child can get him germs. When visiting i was allowed only to touch the feet, covered in socks. She says they can't go to any vacation until the kid is 5 years old because the kid will get germs. And she says that mothers taking the kids on vacation or swiming are stupid because the kid gets germs from the sea or water.

She is orhtodox and her husband Catholic, so they baptized the child Catholic. Her orthodox priest was not very happy and when she went to him asking for a blessing for the child he asked her why not take the child to the Catholic priest. She made a crisis inside of the full Church and shouted at the priest that he is discriminating her child.

Last week while shopping she reached for a bag and a woman picked a bread from under her reached hand. She got angry and pushed the woman into the wall. When the woman protested she started to curse her.

Another day she went to a shop and she was looking at what to buy. A woman came inside and went in front of her to order. She got angry again and hit the woman in the back of the head. The woman hit with the face in the counter. Again she protested and my friend started cursing her.

I was thinking of telling her to consult a doctor or psyholog but i am also afraid not to be hit in the head.Can anyone tell me if these are simpotms of post natal depression, mixed with the depression from being unemployed.
How can i help her and what can i advice her?

Until now people just went away went she started cursing but what if the next person she hits or curses will respond in a way or another. And she is doing this while with the baby carriage.


#2

Your friend is lucky that nobody hit her back or called the police. Her behaviour is a bit nuts imo. Post natal depression is tough and many women suffer from it at some point post partum, but your friend sounds like she has serious anger issues that maybe have nothing to do with the baby. Councelling would be a good idea in any case.


#3

Your friend needs help.

She may be having hormonal issues aggravated by childbirth and leading to mood swings and depression. Childbirth often creates thyroid issues which can lead to stuff like this.

She could be endangering herself and those around her.

She may not be entirely responsibie for how she's feeling (if it's a chemical thing) but she can learn to get out of the way when she's "in a mood". These things can be treated, but she may not find a good doctor easily.


#4

The situation with my friend is getting more and more difficult and last night i was really scared. She spoke to me on messanger and told me she will kill the boss who fired her from her job. Ofcourse i told her, you are sad, you will find another job, stop talking this nonesense. And then she tells me she will run him over with the car. She will wait for him in the evening near the company when there are no witnesses.

I was petrified. What about your child i said, he will visit you in jail? He will grow without a mother. She said the child is small and I would be out in 8-10 years. He doesn't care who takes care of him as long as he has food and TV. My husband will send me pictures.

I was speachless. Then she said, I am joking, I would never do that. Ofcourse i am taking it as angry talk for being fired but only that she thought of this makes me petrified.

If I advice her to talk a psycologyst will she will not listen to me and maybe she will even stop talking to me. Do you think I should contact her husband?


#5

If this is as extreme as it sounds, you may want to talk to her husband about having her visit a hospital for evaluation, soon. We had to involve law enforcement with my mother when she started displaying similar aggressive characteristics and had a Mental Inquest Warrant taken out, which allows for a mandatory 72 hour hold in a behavioral health hospital for psychiatric evaluation. There was actually a lot going on that we just didn't know about. My BFF went through post-partum depression, and it was more like her feeling inadequate as a mother and feeling too tired and down to cook or clean or bathe herself or the baby. What your friend is going through really sounds a lot like a real mental disorder.


#6

Wow, your friend has real problems…of course you already recognize that she is not normal and probably hasn’t been for some time, if ever. Sounds more like paranoia and sociopathic tendencies than depression. Depression makes it difficult to get out of bed, let alone plot someone’s murder and be so detached about the ramifications. Hitting people in public is dangerous behavior. What if the baby cries too much or demands too much attention? I would be VERY worried about this woman’s detached attitude toward her very young child who is defenseless. Is there someone who can contact her husband with concerns? I would not want this woman anywhere near a child with the statements she is making, nor would I want her to find out that I contacted her husband or the authorities, but her behavior is truly frightening.


#7

It sounds as though your friend had something pretty major going on prior to PG. It could be as simple as an underactive thyroid that can make you hyper respond to anything. Things seem really wrong, and the anger can be off the charts, and it can even be the reverse, only barely funny, and the person acts hysterical...

This could be a seriouss mental problem as well.

And any of it will be more intense after having a baby and caring for said baby. Whether ppd has hit or not.

A crying child can make you NUTZ!

Personally, I like the idea of talking to her husband. And alerting him to the fact the you can tell she's gone off the deepend.

If she's saying things that are extreme compared to her old behavior, she needs to be helped.

Her husband can call her DR. and tell them what's going on. This should not be ignored.

It's the woman ignored who drowns all her children... and everyone is mad at her... When in reality, it was the sane people who just watched her crumble, and left her alone with her children. You don't leave a crazy person with your children...

I think you're right to be alerted... Call DH, Call her parents if you know them...heck, you could call her DR. if you know him/her. They won't share details with you, but you can share details with them... Just say, I'd like to talk to you about patiend XYZ. I know you can't tell me anything about her care, but I'm very concerned here's why.... Could you call her for a f/u appt. And evaluate her. I know she won't do it! (DH could do that too!)

I understand her peranoia about germs and such. There is a lot out there that suggest certain things. But she's taking things to an extreme. For example, my premies were on house arrest for 6 months. Just too little to deal with germs. Water actually can be problamatic to a certain age... because children have a tendancy to DRINK what they swim in. Can be a problem in public pools where people aren't using the facilities to relieve themselves, but rather the pool... Things like that. I suppose there is a fine line between, cautious and neurotic...

Good luck!


#8

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.