[quote="archamc3, post:1, topic:335041"]
I've been with my wife for 12 years, but married for only 3. We have an 8th month old son and she filed for divorce earlier this week. She is Catholic, and I am (was) agnostic. We only lived with each other once we were married and that took a little adjusting. Things were good and we decided it was time for a child. Once the child came along, like most other couples, we spent less time with each other. This is where we grew apart and with my snappy temper this is where we are at today. I use to think that it wasn't just on my end and she was just too sensitive. After seriously evaluating our relationship, I have to admit that I left her with no other option that to file for divorce and the majority of blame is on me. I refused to change my ways.
I'll start by saying that I didn't think it was possible for people all of a sudden to "believe", but after this event I know I want God in my life for good. I'm meeting with her today and I wrote her that is at the bottom, but I feel like she may take it the wrong way in that I'm trying to lie to her to get her back. Is it to early to give her this letter? This is truly the way I feel whether or not we do work it out, even though it seems like I have already done too much emotional damage to her. I'm very open to opinions and appreciate your time in a strangers matter.
Here is the letter:
You are an amazing and beautiful woman. I wish I would have told you that every minute of every day. After some serious reflection of our relationship, I left you with no other option than to leave me. My stubbornness and refusal to see that the fault was within me broke you down emotionally. When all you needed was a hug or kiss, I was not there for you for that support. I now understand why you were always at your parents’ house. You needed support in more ways than one and your mother was the one that was there for you every time, not me. I was jealous of your mother having a closer relationship with you than I did. Instead of me trying to build a relationship with you, I took that energy and turned it into bitterness. By doing this, I hurt everybody who was involved. I cannot ask for forgiveness until I have forgiven myself, but I am sorry.
I want to thank you for being so strong in the relationship given the factors. I also want to thank you for praying for me. There’s only one person that could have the strength to go through what I put you through. That person is you. For the first time in my life, I now know that God does exist. He put you in my life to guide me. I believe with all of my heart that you are my guardian angel.
2 Corinthians 5:17
“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.”
I think you have a beautiful letter to your wife and you should give it to her.
Will you change.... you can begin to change.... If she decides to keep you in her life, you need to know that she may expect more from you than you are giving... you need to work hard to make your relationship strong.
I would remove the part in the letter about her being your guardian angel. People are never angels. Our society has a way of expressing people as angels... someone who help must equal an angel... someone who dies must equal an angel. Those are not true statements.
If your wife understands her faith well, hearing you say she is a guardian angel will drop the whole point of the letter - as it is not true.
God made angels and God made man. They are not the same.
My prayer is that you two reconcile and not divorce. May God help you in your marriage and in your faith.