No exchange of vows, no promise to be held to. The deal was left on the table. She handed back your heart with a no-thanks.
We’ve all been there. What do you do with that? You recognize you have been given a chance to share in the sufferings of Christ. The ultimate in Unrequited Love. He hung on the cross while people jeered at Him and spit on him. He took His dying breath among the curses of the people He died for.
Maybe you have a talent for that. You can make a career out of unrequited love. You can spend your life extending the Love of God to people who will refuse it. or not.
You’ve learned a lot about yourself. Thank the young lady. And now take that knowlege and move on to what God wants for you in life. And be glad that you didn’t discover your love was unrequited by being served divorce papers at the most unexpected moment. THAT really stinks!
If the woman didn’t kneel on an altar with you and put on a ring, and say vows, your promise is not binding until death. Your yes meant yes only in that it was a promise to marry contingent on her acceptance. Anything more is an implied threat or verges on stalkerdom. I mean, how does a proposal like that go? “Will you marry me? And even if you say no, I’ll wait for you the rest of my life!” Ummm… that doesn’t give her real freedom to say no without being a real jerk herself. Engagements are not marriages. Not even when we don’t even love the person anymore and are merely sticking to our word till the last dog dies.
Your word is obviously your bond, but don’t make it crazy glue tying you to someone who left three years ago.