Is wanting to be a husband a worthy vocation?

Hi everyone,
Originally I had posted this question in another section, but because that section doesn’t get much traffic, I thought it might be a better idea to post it in this section instead.

I was wondering, is the desire to be someone’s husband a worthwhile goal, or is it just selfish?

Even though I’m single and not currently dating anyone and don’t have a particular woman in mind, for some time I’ve felt the desire to be a good husband to a woman and do what I can to support her and make her happy, and fully provide for her so she doesn’t have to work.

Does the wish to be a husband count as something that is worthy Catholically as a goal? Or is it just selfish that a man wants to do that?

Thanks in advance for your answers.

Of course marriage is a worthy vocation and, moreover, the one to which the majority of men are probably called.

You can’t divorce your self-interest from consideration of what your vocation is. If you answer your calling appropriately, you will find fulfillment in it. That said, the most perfect reason to answer one’s vocation is not self-interest but obedience to the will of God. Which means you need to be prepared to abandon your desire for marriage if, in fact, it doesn’t match up with His desires for you.

My husband says - yes!! :smiley:


Absolutely! The priesthood isn’t the only vocation.

Like all vocations, yours will require discernment, prayer, an openness to where the spirit will lead you, and a willingness to listen to the quiet still voice of God. He will lead to your true calling if you stay close to him.

Being a husband and father is the one of the most noblest vocations. It is the experience of giving love to others, being provider, comforter, and teacher. The church describes the family unit as a miniature church.

It is a very worthy vocation to be a husband and father. It was the vocation of St. Joseph, for example. Just because religious celibacy is a higher calling doesn’t mean marriage and parenthood is not a high calling.

How is the priesthood a higher calling? A vocation is a vocation. Wouldn’t a vocation to marriage be worth the same as a vocation to the priesthood?

1 Corinthians 7: 1-7

Teaching on Marriage

7 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 3 The husband must [a]fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command. 7 [c]Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am.** However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.

St. Paul was celibate. He says that he wishes everybody was celibate like him. He says that it is good for a man not to touch a woman but “because of immoralities” (re: because of temptation) if a man is going to touch a woman he should be married first.

It seems pretty clear to me that St. Paul considers the celibate lifestyle to be a higher vocation than marriage, which he seems to think is only suitable for those without the self-control to be celibate.**


The Church has held that the Priesthood is the highest calling but that of a married father is at least as important (for without married fathers, where would we get the Priests from)?

While it is true in the US we have a shortage of Priests, we also seem to have a shortage of good Fathers. Pray and let God lead you where He needs you.

Earthly marriage is an image/icon of the trinity-- the marriage of Christ to the Church. It points us to the eternal life.
Priesthood and consecrated celibate life are by-passing the earthly marriage to accept the eternal marriage while here on earth. This is why its a “higher” calling, objectively.

Subjectively, meaning for each individual, the “better” vocation is the one you are called to.

I believe that your goal to be a good Catholic husband and father is very a worthy and beautiful goal. Our country could use many more good men with the same desire. I’ll pray that you are able to fulfill your vocation to marriage.

I had this same concern right before my wedding and posted a similar thread… the best response I recieved was a person who said : If you deeply feel like it is your vocation who are you to question God’s plans for you? :smiley: I’m sure once you meet your future wife this desire will deepen even more and you’ll know that it is an amazing vocation!!!

It’s a worthwhile goal. I have never dated or been married to a man committed to Catholic role as husband, and I would say the best thing to do is stay close to the church and become a man of virtue who is available because as a woman I have seen too few of these men.

You will make some lady very happy then and it will be pleasing to God.

I think Medjugore vision was said “there are many marriages out there that are not of God.” this has stuck with me. God needs more marriages that are His plan.

Best to you.

Thanks for your responses. Anyone else have any thoughts on this?

Does anyone else have any thoughts on this?

A good Catholic marriage and family is a beautiful thing; certainly a worthy vocation. Be very careful who you pick, though. A bad marriage can be tough to endure - and that is putting it mildly. For instance, not all women marry for love. Some marry for money, or because they are trying to escape a bad situation, or they just settle because they don’t think they can do better. I think it is generally better to remain single, but I am jaded.

One comment on making the Mrs happy - ultimately God is the only one who can make us happy. You could be the best husband and father in the world and she could still be unhappy.

Being a husband is a worthy vocation. Don’t ever break the 11th Commandment of CAF, though (“a person must not require a virgin spouse”). If you do break that commandment, you’ll become a second-class citizen on here. In fact, Catholic guilt will seem like nothing compared to the guilt you’ll feel after 20 people tell you off.

Just a heads up.

Huh? What on Earth are you talking about? :confused:


If he’s wondering about marriage, he’s going to wonder about a spouse. I thought I’d warn him about the dark side of CAF before he accidentally steps into it.

It’s happened before, just sparing him the misery-inducing treatment that someone breaking the 11th Commandment would receive here. Keep calm and carry on.

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