last night was DD’s confirmation. we were part of a multi-parish event. during our planning/prep classes, the teacher said to us “immediate family is welcome”…
a few weeks ago i asked my mom if they would be coming. she sort of he-ed and hawed and says “well, maybe, we’ll see…” they are very close with dd, so thinking they really didn’t want to come, i said “well, it’ll probably be mostly parents anyways”. and left it at that. i didn’t want to pressure them to come or feel guilty. i know confirmation is a big deal, but they have big plans to come to her first holy communion in june.
yesterday morning i phoned her to ask “are you all coming tonight?” she says “no, we’re going into the city, and you said it would be mostly parents”. i say ‘yes, but feel free to come if you want’.
they didn’t come, and that’s ok. most of the students from our church had parents/siblings and sponsors there. a couple had grandparents. the kids from the OTHER churches brought grandparents, greatgrandparents, aunts/uncles/ cousins, etc. it was a ZOO! a few friends from our church said to me “i didn’t invite my parents either, so don’t feel badly”
well, my parents apparantly drove by during the ceremony and saw the crowd. she was peeved at me when i called last night and was downright rude. then she put dd in the middle, asking to talk to her, and grilled her about who’s grandparents were there.
i’m put of by this. big time. i offered twice for them to come. they CHOSE not to. of course, in her mind it’s all MY fault because i said it would be mostly parents. it was. yes, there were grandparents there, but i really had no idea that it would be that sort of crowd. i feel guilty about it and now she won’t take my calls. period.
i feel like she’s being childish. the one good thing in this: whenever she comes to dd’s events, she completely takes over, gushes to the priest and school principal and teachers, basically ignores me, and trys to act all in charge of dd. last night it was WONDERFUL to just be able to be dd’s mom and dad. DH is put off as well, and says ‘don’t call, let her call you. it’s not your fault’… any suggestions how to fix this??