I have this girl who is a friend (not my girlfriend). She is beautiful. She has a gorgeous bone structure and everything–very tall as well. To be honest, she kind of looks like a female Jonny Greenwood. She is also brilliant, especially is the science fields. Now here’s my dilemma: She and our college professor seem to be getting a bit friendly, if you know what I mean. He is also very attractive and obviously intelligent. She wants very much to have sex with him. She keeps telling me he can fulfill her Ayn Rand sexual fantasy. I know that is weird because I’ve read The Fountainhead. I know they’re both intelligent people, but I am very worried about her mortal soul. I have prayed to my favourite saint, Saint Michael. I have also prayed to The Holy Mother. Still, their relationship continues to flourish. Please offer advice to talk her out of having sex with our professor.
You might point out to her that whatever her fantasies are, why would she want to involve your professor in highly unethical behavior? Does she have any religious background that you can draw upon to assist her realize the spiritual consequences of indulging in this fantasy?
God bless you for being such a good friend.
The truth is that such an affair would have incredibly serious practical consequences for the professor - he could lose both his job and his career as a whole for sleeping with a student. Why put him at risk?
Let’s not forget the consequences for her too - after all, any marks that he gave her would be suspect. She’d never know that she honestly earned them, neither would anyone else who found out about the affair.
At minimum she would probably fail the subject. She would also risk suspension or expulsion from the college, not to mention that employers wouldn’t seriously consider her in the future. Why waste the time and money she’s spent on her qualifications in such a way?
And what on earth would happen when (almost certainly not if) one or other of them broke off the affair? It would be impossible to continue a professional teacher-student relationship with an ex.
Bottom line is that there are very good chances that the whole thing would end in total disaster from a practical point of view, let alone the moral implications.
At the very least, she should wait and see how she feels about him when he’s no longer her teacher, and then and only then pursue a relationship.
I agree with everything that LilyM said.
This obviously has huge moral ramifications, but you might be more likely to sway her opinion if you remind her that it is unethical for professors to have affairs with students for whom they are directly responsible. He could get fired and she could fail the course.
I’ve heard of students dating professors who were not responsible for their grades. It’s not necessarily encouraged for a variety of reasons, but it’s not generally considered unethical.