Issues between Father and Mother


#1

I am a 14 year old young teenager. My parents are not married and constantly get into arguments. My dad says that he regretted meeting my mom. He says that he rather go back to his original girlfriend. After a couple years passed, God All-Mighty has given me a blessing of siblings. 3 in total (2 boys and 1 girl). Often times I get depressed and sad when my mom says what she could have done in her life that God punished her by giving her children. The arguments get worse and worse. My dad talks about moving out. Thinking on this topic, I might as well have to work because I have experience. I worked in landscaping alongside my dad at a early age (6). My back is in constant pain. I do not have the body of other teenagers. I have the body of an adult. What can I do in my life to solve all of these issues? Please help!


#2

I’m sure you know this, but I want to remind you that the most important and effective thing that you can do in any difficult situation is pray. Pray for your parents, your siblings, and yourself. The greatest prayer of all time is the Mass. If you don’t already, one thing that may help tremendously is attending Mass together.

I’m sorry that your parents constantly argue. I know from experience that it is stressful when people that you love (not even necessarily parents) quarrel often. Remember that it is not your fault that your parents argue, and remember that your parents’ actions (your father possibly leaving you, etc.) are not your fault.

It is a pity that your mother thinks that her children are punishments from God. The important thing here is that you realize that you and your siblings are not punishments. Don’t let this affect your view of yourself. You are precious in God’s eyes, and His opinion of you is the most important of all.

Regarding working, you really ought to focus on your school work. Assuming you are in the USA, you are entering your first or second year of high school this fall. You are entering a critical time in your life. Do yourself a favor and make the most of it; focus on your school work.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself physically, either. You say your back is in pain. Have you spoken about it to your doctor?

I am going to tell you something you may not want to hear: you can’t do anything to solve all these problems. What you can do is:

  1. Pray, especially by going to Mass and Confession.
  2. Find a spiritual director.
  3. Honor your parents. Despite how it may feel now, they are a blessing. This may help lower the tension in the house, and thus decrease arguments.
  4. Take care of your physical needs.
    and last, but certainly not least:
  5. Remember that God loves you more than you love yourself, and wants only the best for you.

This is not a five-step program to fix your life, but will likely help make life more livable.

You are in my prayers.


#3

I wouldn’t worry about having to go to work, just yet. Parents, when they’re angry at each other, often say things they don’t really mean, and, unfortunately, often express things to their kids which are exaggerated, or not true at all. I’d pray for them, talk to your siblings (maybe you can comfort each other?), and just let them work out their problems, themselves. Have you spoken to a priest or a counselor? You really shouldn’t be shouldering this situation alone.

Speak to your priest. He has training in such matters. Or, speak to your school counselor. They can help you to separate the important matters from the ones you really shouldn’t have to concern yourself with. Your parents were very wrong to tell you such things, but, they’re human, and are obviously having issues with each other. Try to join in some church, school, and neighborhood activities aimed at young people. You’ll be surprised at the number of people with similar problems.

Above all, take care of yourself. Your parents’ problems aren’t necessarily your problems. So, take care and God bless!


#4

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