I think it is also important to look into how (and if) the theoretical is translated into the actual.
Do you think it is important to save for retirement? Good. How is it going so far?
Do you like a clean house? Very nice. What is your method of achieving that? Are you a clean-as-you-go, a one-room-a-dayer or a let-it-go-to-hell-until-Friday-and-then-tackle-the-built-up-mess type? Be honest!
How much do you spend on clothing now? Do you know? How many times can you wear a garment before washing it? Do you ever iron a garment? If so, when? Do you think that if you leave a garment that ought to be washed in the air for long enough, that it will become ready to wear again by contact with the air?
Do you pay off your credit cards every month now? What are your exercise and TV-watching habits now? Do you pray every day now? Do you always go to Mass every week now?
Have you ever spent a day taking care of a child by yourself? How did that go?
Do you think toilet paper should be over the top or should it feed from the back of the roll? Do you let your dog sleep on your bed? Do you ever let toothpaste (or tooth-brushing drool) sit all white there on your bathroom counter? Do you even know, or do you not even see that kind of thing?
How do you feel when someone vacuums but doesn't go all the way to the baseboard? Do you know what a baseboard is? How did you choose the cleaner for your kitchen floor?
I can see you are always on time for our dates....what about the people you have in the bag? Are you always on time for work? For Mass? For family events? If you're late, how late, and why? Do you know how people feel about your habits? What about how they feel about yours?
When was the last time you hurt someone's feelings? How did that play out? If you claim you have never hurt anyone's feelings, then answer this: How do you handle the resentment when they hurt yours but don't notice it, and you don't say anything?
Most of all, talk about anything and everything that you expect to change when you get married. Do you expect her to spend less time with her sisters? Do you expect him to give up the five-day summer hiking trips with his college buddies? What if that trip happens when your wife is 36 weeks pregnant? Do you go, or stay home? If his best friend from college, who asked your husband to be his best man, is getting married in Hawaii, but you're too pregnant to fly, what happens then?
How did your parents bring you up? What were your favorite things? The things you hated most? The things you think were best for you? Worst? What is your favorite memory of Christmas? Think forward and imagine a future family Christmas Day from Hell. Be outrageous, and involve members of both families as "characters" in this drama. How would you handle a Christmas Day like that? What does that have to do with what kind of parent you want to be?
Repeat the Christmas Day scenario, only this time make it your wedding. Think up the worst possible things that could happen--OK, leave out things like being left at the altar or finding out that your finance has been unfaithful, I mean disasters that would allow the wedding to go forward--and ask yourselves what you would do if the cake was the ugliest thing you've ever seen, if one of the people in the bridal party showed up drunk, if the caterer had an accident and there was going to be no food at the reception. How would you handle that?
What if you have a very bad day? What's your spouse supposed to do about that? What if you have triplets or you lose your job and can't find a new one, so that you have a hard day every day for about 18 months? What if you're moving and haven't sold your old house, and your spouse has to live at the new place where the new job is and you're stuck in the old neighborhood with the kids until school is out? What do you expect of your spouse? What do you expect of yourself? What if you woke up one day and realized that you (or your spouse) had gained 100 pounds since you married? What then?
Think up every scenario like that you can. As other couples what their biggest fights or misunderstandings were about, or the hardest stretches in their marriage, and talk about what you would do (and expect) in a similar situation.
Oh, and most importantly: How do you feel and how do you handle it when you are right and no one with the power to put your opinion into action will do anything? How do you handle it when you're right and you have to convince someone who just cannot or will not give in and see that they are wrong? I don't mean when you think *you're right or when you have a strong opinion. I mean when you 110% certainly, no bones about it, know that you are *right. How does that go? (And how often does that happen?)
You don't have to agree on everything. Do know what you're getting into, though!
(And look at the bright side: no matter what happens at your actual wedding, you'll have the inside joke of knowing that it could have been a lot worse!!)